Patsy Smiles quotes from Camp Lazlo

Patsy

Oh Lazlo! [giggles]

Raj

[annoyed] What is it, Patsy, for the 20th time?

Patsy

Never mind. [she, Nina, and Gretchen giggle]

Raj

Tsk, Tsk, Tsk. Those girls are nothing well.

Clam

Ding-dongs.

Patsy

You're not getting your dirt back!

Samson

Well, we don't want it back. Now that it's being stuck to your ugly faces!

Patsy

[outraged] What did you say?!

Samson

You heard me! Ugly! You Squirrel Scouts are the ugliest creeps... [gets mud thrown into his face and mouth, then spits it out] I got some! I got some! Your faces, uh... look like a sour, pot-bellied sow on Sour-Pot-Bellied-Sows-Are-Ugly Day!

Commander Hoo-Ha

Now, I know what you're all asking yourselves why did Hoo-Ha bring his daughter here, hmm? The answer is simple: I have decided that she is at proper age to know what a boy is.

Patsy

Daddy, I know what a boy is...

Commander Hoo-Ha

Dup-dup-dup-dup! [picks Lazlo up] This, pumpkin, is a boy.

Patsy

Hi, Lazlo!

Lazlo

Ahem. Hoo-Ha's your dad?

Patsy

Duh!

Commander Hoo-Ha

No fraternizing with my pumpkin! Fraternizing leads to liking. And if a boy wants to like my Pumpkin [puts his hands next to both sides of Patsy's eyes], not just like, I mean like like, WHO COULD SAY WHAT I'D DO?! [blows his top in anger, which flies in front of the Beans and catches fire and disappears] Well I don't have to worry about that, do I? Isn't that right?!

Samson

You really have to beat me up?

Almondine

Is she okay?

Patsy

[dizzy with her hair in a mess] I'm okay.

[laughs] Look at her hair!

Patsy

My hair? [gasps in shock, screaming] MY HAIR!!!

Gretchen

[while she and Patsy are by the window, lonely] No cheese, No Nina.

Lazlo

[as he and his cabin mates show up] Hi, ladies! I know how to turn those long faces short- a preview of my Hungarian Cheddar?

Patsy

[exclaims in shock as she turns away from Lazlo's cheese] Get away, get away!

Lazlo

[nervously pulls the cheese away] Oh! Um...Sorry.

Gretchen

[annoyed] Smooth move, Jellies. Everybody knows she's allergic to cheese! She bloats, she turns into- [gasps in realization as she gets an idea] Ah-ha!

Nina

[realizes the alien was her two friends] Gretchen?! Patsy?! [runs to Patsy] What happened to you?

Patsy

[voice breaking] I...ate...all the...cheese!

Nina

[tearing up] But why, Patsy? Why?

Patsy

[gulps, tearing up] Because you...you prefer disgusting mutants with lasers...over me.

Nina

[smiles hopefully] You had a severe allergic reaction just for me? Come here, you two! [group hugs Patsy and Gretchen as the audience awws]

Patsy

Okay, Lazlo, but tell me again why you are using our bathroom?

Lazlo

BECAUSE I HAVE TO GO!!!

Patsy

Whoa! That is definitely the wrong way to ask someone to use their bathroom.

Lazlo

I'm sorry. Please? Uh, pretty please with a P on top?

Almondine

[narrating] Who is that desperate bird? That desperate bird is me, and my name… is Almondine. [Fade to six hours earlier] Six hours ago, I was just another squirrel scout.

[walking up next to her as they stand in front of the Wig Out tent] Hey, Almondine. Are you ready for the annual Acorn Flats Wig Out?

Almondine

[spins her head around 360 degrees, creeping Toodie out, and stops] Sure am. [narrating] Or at least an owl squirrel scout with a gifted third vertebrae. Yes, the Wig Out-- a special night when girls dress up with their finest wigs and get to be pretty. [walks into the tent and enters the dressing room where all the other girls are working on their wigs] I've been working on my wig for two weeks straight, and I was pretty sure I nailed it. [removes the blanket that's covering her wig, revealing that it looks just like her real hair]

Ladies, how do we all feel about Almondine's wig?

Nina

Ugh. The hat. What were you thinking?

Almondine

It's to keep the wig arm. [Nina and Patsy look at each other confused] I'm just trying to be practical.

People are driving hundreds of miles to the wig out, and they ain't coming for practical. They want the pretties, right, gals?

Like flowers.

Telephones.

Someone get Almondine some curlers. She's got work to do. [walks away]

Patsy

We've got six hours to go! Are you sure you're gonna have something pretty?

Almondine

No problem.

Patsy

Oh, good. 'cause if your wig's not pretty, it'll ruin the whole wig out. [laughs as she and her friends leave]

Almondine

[narrating] "Pretty." There was that word again. I had no idea what it meant.

Almondine

[looks at her reflection in the mirror for a second, then takes off her glasses and gets to work; narrating] I did things to my face that I had never done before. After a bucket of paint and a gallon of elbow grease, I was ready to see the new me. [puts her glasses back on and looks at her reflection, shocked to see that she looks exactly the same as she was before] Nothing. I guess pretty was just for pretty people. Not for plain practical birds…like me.

Patsy

[enters the dressing room with Nina and Gretchen] Hi, Almondine! Are you ready for the Wig Out?

Almondine

[runs out of the tent, bawling in realizing she let the Wig Out and herself down] Forget it! [throws the magazine on the ground in frustration and runs away into the woods; narrating] The Wig Out was going to be a disaster, and it was all my fault. I had to get away, somewhere else, under a pretty name like "Tiffany" or "Alexis", at some other camp, a camp where they don't know me, a camp where they're not so pretty. [finds Lazlo, Raj, and Clam, all behaving like hobos]

Lazlo

Looks like we got company, boys. Sit a spell, stranger.

Almondine

[takes a seat on a wooden crate box] Brother, can you spare me a banana? [puts her hand on her stomach, starving to death] I haven't eaten all day.

Raj

[gives her a banana] Well, what you been up to?

Almondine

Chasing a dream.

Raj

Doesn't look like she caught it.

Almondine

Thought I knew what pretty was. Turns out, I don't know anything about it.

Lazlo

Aw, that's nothing. Whatever makes you different is what makes you pretty.

Raj

Yep, and we've got more pretty than we know what to do with.

Yeah!

Almondine

You do?

Raj

Take me. You know how elephants are supposed to remember everything?

Almondine

Yeah.

Raj

Well, I can't remember anything. No, really. Test me.

Almondine

What did you have for lunch today?

Raj

Okay, yeah. I had one of those…uh…things between two, uh, slices of things. [facepalms] Oh! What do you call?

Almondine

Oh, a sandwich?

Raj

Huh? You want a sandwich? What did you say?

Lazlo

Isn't that pretty?

Almondine

Well, it's different at least.

You! You ruined our Wig Out-- the only time any of us get a chance to really express ourselves!

And now you're gonna pay!

Patsy

[off-screen] Hold it, folks! [bolts up next to Almondine, defending her] She was trying to express herself, too! Maybe it wasn't pretty, but it was 100% Almondine.

Almondine

Yeah, well, I may not be pretty, but I'm gorgeous! Just the way I am!

Patsy

Yes! That's what I'm talking about! Gorgeous!