TV show quotes
[Anya is looking over the day's receipts]
Hey. Hey! HEY! HEY!!!
Anya, your "heys" are startling the customers.
And pretty much the state!
You sold somebody a Kohl's amulet and a Sobekian bloodstone!
Yes, I believe I did.
Are you stupid or something?
Allow me to answer that question with a firing.
She's kidding. An, we talked about the employee-employer vocabulary no-nos. That was number five.
Just once I would like to run into a cult of bunny worshippers.
Great! Thank you very much for those nightmares.
Okay, how 'bout this one. Twice in recent memory, she's had the lover-wiccas do a deinvite on the house. Keep out specific vamps. Ever ask yourself why she's never taken my name off the guest list?
Because you're harmless.
Oh yeah, right. Takes one to know, I suppose. Least I still got the attitude. What do you got, a piercing glance? Face it, white bread. Buffy's got a type, and you're not it. She likes us dangerous, rough, occasionally bumpy in the forehead region. Not that she doesn't like you ... but sorry Charlie, you're just not dark enough.
Joyce, there's no reason to get upset.
No reason to get upset? Oh, right, sorry, I must just think there is because of my brain tumor!
I still don't get why we had to come here to get info about a killer snot monster.
Because it's a killer snot monster from outer space... I did not just say that.
Dawn... she's not mine is she?
No.
She's... she does belong to us though.
Yes she does,
And she's important... to the world, precious. As precious as you are to me... Then we have to take care of her. Buffy, promise me, if anything happens, if I don't come through this-
Mom-
No, listen to me. No matter what she is, she still feels like my daughter. I have to know that you'll take care of her, that you'll keep her safe, that you'll love her like I love you.
I promise.
Oh, that might be toxic, don't touch it.
Oh yeah, touching it was my first impulse. Luckily, I've moved on to my second, which involves dry-heaving and running like hell.
Something evil crashed to earth in this and then broke out and ... slithered away to do badness.
In all fairness, we don't really know about the slithered part.
Oh, no. I'm sure it frisked about like a fluffy lamb.
Alone time always translates into let's get Dawn out of the house so we can have loud, obnoxious sex.
[to Xander] Does that mean we can't?
That's so very humorous. Make fun of the ex-demon! I can just hear you in private: [speaking to a chicken foot] "I dislike that Anya. She's newly human and strangely literal."
Anya, I don't say that. No one says that. No one talks that way.
Look at you, all afraid I'm hot for your honey.
Because you are.
Well, yeah. But that's not your problem, even if I wasn't in the picture you're never going to be able to hold onto her. [Riley sticks his finger into the hole he's just made in Spike's chest] Oh! Bloody hell!
Maybe I didn't almost kill you enough.
They want me back Buffy, the military. It's deep undercover. No contact with civilians. Transport's leaving tonight.
Tonight? When were you going to tell me about this?
I'm telling you now.
...
I'm leaving, Buffy. Unless you give me reason to stay.
What more do you want from me Riley? I've given you everything I have. My heart, my body and soul... and if that isn't enough for you then we really have a problem
[to Anya] I've gotta say something, 'cause I don't think I've made it clear. I'm in love with you. Powerfully, painfully in love. The things you do, the way you think, the way you move. I get excited every time I'm about to see you. You make me feel like I've never felt before in my life... like a man. I just thought you might like to know.
Well, I get to run the store, right?
[alarmed] You? Ah, w-well, it's quite a lot for one person to take care of.
...
We can come by between classes. Usually I use that time to copy over my class notes with a system of different colored pens, but it's been pointed out to me that that's, you know, insane.
I said "quirky."
...
Um, Anya, while, while I completely trust you uh, uh, to take care of the inventory and the money, um ... dealing with people requires a certain, uh ... finesse.
[angrily] I have finesse! I have finesse coming out of my bottom! I can completely lie to the health inspector. I can, you know, distract him with coy smiles, and-and bribe him with money and goods.
See there? She'll be great.
Don't worry, Giles. I'll help her take care of everything. It'll be ship-shape. Better, it'll be shop-shape.
You do well to flee, townspeople! I will pillage your lands and dwellings! I will burn your crops and make merry sport with your more attractive daughters, mark my words!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Buffy the Vampire Slayer pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
