TV show quotes
Hey, watch it, mate.
[Spike turns to look up at Olaf. Both he and Xander stare.]
On second thought, do what you like.
...
So, uh, think I should run and get Buffy?
Barmaid, bring me stronger ale, and some plump, succulent babies to eat.
I'm gonna run and get Buffy. Or maybe you could fight him.
Yeah, I could do that, but I'm paralyzed with not caring very much.
Trying to send him to a specific place is sort of like, like... trying to hit a puppy by throwing a live bee at it. Which is a weird image and you should all just forget it.
It's possible that he's in the land of perpetual Wednesday, or the crazy melty land, or, you know, the world without shrimp.
There's a world without shrimp? [pause] I-I'm allergic.
I cringe to think what the place would have looked like if I'd been away for longer than three days.
Well, maybe we would have had time to clean it up. You know, if Willow used some magicks to help.
Yes, 'cause nothing could possibly go wrong with that.
Where did you send him?
The land of the trolls. He'll like it there. Full of trolls.
It's hard to be precise, though. Alternate universes don't stay put. Trying to send him to a specific place is sort of like, like... trying to hit a puppy by throwing a live bee at it. Which is a weird image, and you should all just forget it.
It's possible that he's in the land of perpetual Wednesday, or the crazy melty land, or, you know, the world without shrimp.
There's a world without shrimp? [pause] I-I'm allergic.
He's probably in Troll Land.
I only care that he's not here, and I got this nifty souvenir.
[She places Olaf's hammer on the glass countertop - which promptly shatters under its weight]
Oops...
The place is trashed enough anyway.
W-what's so bad about them coming here? Aren't they good guys? I mean, watchers: that's just like other Giles-es, right?
Yeah, they're scary and horrible!
I need to know a little bit more about the Slayer, and about the both of you. Your relationship, whatever you can tell me.
O-o-our relationship?
We're friends.
Good friends.
Girlfriends, actually.
Yes, we're girlfriends.
We're in love. We're... lovers. [puts hand on Tara's knee] We're lesbian, gay-type lovers.
I meant your relationship with the Slayer.
[hastily] Um, just good friends. [Willow takes her hand off Tara's knee.]
Remember,-
Yeah, yeah. "Hurt them and I'll stake you good and proper". Sing me a new one sometime. That one's getting old.
I've had a lot of people talking at me the last few days. Everyone just lining up to tell me how unimportant I am. And I've finally figured out why. Power. I have it. They don't. This bothers them. Glory ... came to my home today.
[alarmed] Buffy, are you-
Just to talk. She told me I'm a bug, I'm a flea, she could squash me in a second. Only she didn't. She came into my home, and we talked. We had what in her warped brain probably passes for a civilized conversation. Why? Because she needs something from me. Because I have power over her. You guys didn't come all the way from England to determine whether or not I was good enough to be let back in. You came to beg me to let you back in. To give your jobs, your lives some semblance of meaning.
...
You're Watchers. Without a Slayer, you're pretty much just watchin' Masterpiece Theater. You can't stop Glory. You can't do anything with the information you have except maybe publish it in the Everyone Thinks We're Insane-O's Home Journal. So here's how it's gonna work. You're gonna tell me everything you know. Then you're gonna go away. You'll contact me if and when you have any further information about Glory. The magic shop will remain open. Mr. Giles will stay here as my official Watcher, reinstated at full salary...
[coughing] Retroactive.
Just tell me what kind of demon I'm fighting.
Well, that's the thing, you see. Glory isn't a demon.
What is she?
She's a god.
Oh.
Well, you know what they say, the bigger they are-
The faster they stomp you into nothing.
I just think you're freakin' out 'cause you have to fight someone prettier than you. That is the case, right?
Glory is evil. And powerful. And in no way prettier than me.
[Spike is sitting on a coffin, painting his nails when Buffy comes in]
Morning sunshine, if you've come round for eggs and sausages, afraid I'm fresh out.
[Buffy pulls the top of the coffin from under him]
Careful, these are wet.
Are you okay? Did she hurt you?
Why do you care?
Because I love you, you're my sister.
No I'm not.
Yes you are. [holds Dawn's hand] It's blood, Summers blood, it's just like mine. It doesn't matter where you came from, or how you got here, you are my sister. There's no way you could annoy me so much if you weren't.
...
I have to get you back home though, Mom's freaking out.
Oh, is she mad about the whole fire thing?
I think you sort of have a "Get out of jail free" card on account of big love and trauma.
Really? Okay, good. Do you think she'd raise my allowance?
Don't push it.
How was school today?
The usual, big square building filled with boredom and despair.
Just how I remember it.
The point is, I work hard for that money.
And you're saying I didn't?
You stole it.
And you're making it into very hard work!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Buffy the Vampire Slayer pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
