Eric Matthews quotes from Boy Meets World

Eric

Nice? She's beautiful. I mean, she's the most incredible girl I ever kissed.

Cory

Which puts her on a list of about two?

Amy

When you're a kid, you see everything as right or wrong, black or white...

Eric

Blonde or brunette...

Eric

Maybe you'll smoke.

Minkus

I don't think so.

Eric

What if...[points to Topanga] she thought smoking was cool? Would you smoke then?

Minkus

In a heartbeat.

Eric

[to Topanga about Minkus] He smokes. You think that's cool?

Topanga

I think any man that smokes is a pig.

Minkus

I'm trying to quit!

Eric

What about alcohol?

Minkus

Could you use someone else as an example?!

Topanga

You are so wise.

Eric

Yes, I am. And that wisdom comes from knowing that if you have a relationship based on looks, it's stupid and superficial.

Hi, I'm Topanga's sister.

Eric

Hi, I'm stupid and superficial.

Eric

I know what you're hiding.

Cory

You do?

Eric

Yup. I tried the same thing when I was your age. The noises, the food sneaking, the look on your face at dinner... YOU'RE HIDING A PUPPY!

Eric

[panicking] Cory, we're studying.

Cory

So am I!

Eric

You named the rats after yourselves?

Cory

Yeah. Shawn's the one chewing the lock. I'm the one with the skin disease.

Cory

You know, I'm thinking of becoming a poet. There once was a boy named Cory...

Eric

Who now has an interesting story...

Cory

He learned about kissing...

Eric

And all he was missing...

Shawn

When he and Topanga made out!

Cory

Shawn, can you say "summer school"?

Mr. Matthews, Mrs. Matthews, thank you oh so very much for having me for dinner in your lovely home.

Alan

Oh, well thank you for the lobsters!

You're welcome, I'm sure. [to Cory] How's the new me coming across, fuzzy?

Cory

You're doing great!

Eric

Uh-oh! This guy's missing a claw.

That is it! I told them these were important people! This is a very big dinner for me! What do they do? They send me damaged goods!

Mr. Matthews, Mrs. Matthews, thank you oh so very much for having me for dinner in your lovely home.

Eric

Dumped.

Cory

Dumped.

Shawn

Cheese.

Cory

Eric I don't want to hurt Ingrid she's a nice girl But enough about her, get me out of this date.

Eric

Look, you heard what Dad said.

Cory

Oh, please, he's old. He's out of touch. I mean, the last girl he dated was Mom.

Eric

No, no, no, no Cor, Cor, Cor You have to go with Ingrid. You bail on this girl, it's all over for you.

Cory

Why? It's one girl, one date.

Eric

No, no, no You dump one girl, they're all gonna know and they're all gonna hate you. Remember, women are in constant communication with each other.

Cory

What are you talking about?

Eric

(Morgan walks in) Say Cor, did you enjoy the vegetarian chili mom made last night as much as I did? You know, sometimes I think we take our great mom for granted.

Cory

Eric, could we please stick to my problem for a second here?

Eric

Yes, your problem. Your problem is the international women's network. Look, you blow off this girl, everybody online's gonna know about it in the morning.

Cory

Oh, I don't believe that.

Eric

Well, you could be right, then again

Amy

[walks in] I didn't know you liked my chili. What can I get my wonderful boys for dinner tomorrow night?

Eric

And bad news, it travels even faster.

Eric

So how's the campaign?

Cory

Well, we're taking it in a new direction.

Eric

And that would be... down?

Eric

[looking in a textbook] Oh, and who is this raven-haired beauty?

Jason

That's Leonardo da Vinci. Stop that, you're scaring me!

Eric

Look at me Im alone [Looking down]

Alan

[Looking at his test results] And you will be until your grades come up, Now until I see some letters here closer to the front of the alphabet... youre not going to any more dates.

Eric

[Looking sad] Mom, Mommy

Amy

Aww, Alan how can you be so cruel to my sweet little baby.

Alan

Well it was your idea. Eric you cant rely on your looks to get you through life.

Eric

But all I want to be is a weatherman

Hey guys, where ya been?

Eric

Hey, I can get a haircut, as many as I want!