Stuart Minkus quotes from Boy Meets World

Minkus

[referring to Cory and Shawn] There's a sucker born every minute. Two that minute.

Eric

Maybe you'll smoke.

Minkus

I don't think so.

Eric

What if...[points to Topanga] she thought smoking was cool? Would you smoke then?

Minkus

In a heartbeat.

Eric

[to Topanga about Minkus] He smokes. You think that's cool?

Topanga

I think any man that smokes is a pig.

Minkus

I'm trying to quit!

Eric

What about alcohol?

Minkus

Could you use someone else as an example?!

Cory

I'm second-string, Mr. Feeny.

Minkus

Hey, congratulations! Did you tell your dad?

Cory

No, I happen to like my dad.

Minkus

Don't you hate it when Mom and Dad fight?

Shawn

No. Into it.

Cory

Well, we won't be fighting for long. I've got something that'll take the fight right out of Mom. Read it and weep, Little Big Hair.

Topanga

[reading off Cory's paper] "My model wife won't care how dirty my room gets. She'll always let me win at video games. She'll play street hockey any time of the day or night." Why don't you just marry Shawn?

Cory

Because our kids would look like horses.

Stuart

Shawn!

Shawn

Stuart!

Stuart

Nice haircut.

Shawn

Thanks. Eight bucks.

Stuart

Looks like it.

Stuart

Any more questions, George?

Feeny

Just one. Is it okay if I rip off your head and roll it down the hallway?