Eric Matthews quotes from Boy Meets World

Eric

You're gonna love Cory. You wouldn't believe how mature he is.

Cory

Hey guys, look at me! I'm a fountain! [blows water out of his mouth] I've gotta show Shawn! [runs upstairs] Shawn!

Eric

I'll talk to Cory. He won't do the fountain. He won't blow milk bubbles out of his nose. He won't even do Armpit Theater.

Cory

Piece of cake...

Eric

What?

Cory

I threw up a piece of cake.

Eric

I cheated, Mr. Feeny. I had the answers written on my hand.

Feeny

And you only managed an A-minus?

Eric

I sneezed off a couple of the answers.

Eric

Jason, I don't skate. At all.

Jason

Well, hey. C'mon, Canadians skate. How hard could it be?

Eric

It's like I'm in S.A.T. Zone. All my other senses are completely shut down. [knocks soup into lap]

Jason

Eric?

Eric

Wha?

Jason

You just spilled soup on your lap.

Eric

What? [Jason nods. Eric looks down.] Ahhh! Hot! Hot!

Eric

Hey, Hunter, what do you think you're doing?

Shawn

Uh... cleaning out my ears.

Eric

Yeah, with Towelie? My lucky towel? What are you, insane?

Shawn

One of us is.

Eric

My grades aren't good enough to get me into college?

Feeny

Your grades, my friend, aren't good enough to get you a slurpee.

Eric

Christy's gonna expect me to tell her that I love her. Aw, man, I gotta do something now. Think, you gotta think, Eric -- OW!

Shawn

Thinking cramp?

Eric

Yeah.

Shawn

I get those, too.

Eric

All right, look, Mr. Feeny, I have a question that I'm going to need a yes or no answer to: how many people get into Yale every year?

Feeny

[thinks it over] No.

Eric

Wait, I know this song! Ba-de-de-de-de-dum, it's Bugs Bunny!

Feeny

No, it's Wagner.

Eric

Mr. Feeny, this is cartoons you are WAY over your head!

Cory

Eric, how could you plan the rave on the same day as Mom and Dad's anniversary?

Eric

Hey, you're lookin' at me like I'm inconsiderate. I had no idea when Mom and Dad's anniversary was, so there!

Feeny

Mr. Matthews, interesting essay on Joan of Arc.

Eric

Thank you.

Feeny

But I doubt that Arc meant that Joan was from Arkansas.

Eric

It's a theory.

Feeny

It's an F.

Cory has a date.

Eric

So, who's the unlucky girl?

Eric

Just what you wanted. 20,000 words on the Civil War.

Feeny

I said 2,000.

Eric

That oughta do it.

Feeny

Come along, Mr. Matthews! Don't dawdle!

Eric

I'm not dawdling. I'm just not wearing any underwear.