Amy Matthews quotes from Boy Meets World

Amy

Oh, Eric... we used you as a decoy. We knew you'd be stupid, so we used it against you.

Alan

What's he want this time?

Amy

A $50 squirt gun!

Alan

A $50 squirt gun?! No, really what's he want?

Cory

Dad, we're not talking an ordinary squirt gun: We're talking the Hydro-Sat 3000-Z. It's the big boy on the block.

Alan

That's nice, Cor. Pretty steep, though. Maybe for Christmas.

Cory

Hey, great, a water gun in December! I'll be the little boy spreading pneumonia!

Mommy, if my dolly is cold, can I put her in the toaster oven?

Amy

No, honey, that would be a mistake.

Mommy?

Amy

What?

I made a mistake.

Amy

Cory, what did you do to your beautiful hair?

Cory

It wasn't beautiful, it looked like Velcro!

Eric

Nothing's gonna stick to that now, man.

Amy

There weren't any Cinderella costumes?

Eric

Hundreds of them.

Amy

And you had to pick axe-in-the-head here?

Eric

It was the last one, Mom. She picked it out herself, it was her decision.

Alan

Eric, 24 hours ago she didn't have any idea what a zombie was.

The undead are cool!

Cory

Hey, Mom, this cereal is bogus. Where's my blue sugar moons? Where're my yellow teddy bears? All this is, is hamster food and cornflake dust. Where's all the good stuff?

Amy

Morgan.

Cory

She took out all the good stuff.

I've been up since 6 o' clock!

Amy

What is this? Sugar-coated... sugar?

I'm feeling very perky!

Amy

Come on, Morgan, let's get you into bed.

How come? How come? How come how come how come?

Amy

Because if we hurry we might just make it before the coma.

Coma? Coma? Coma coma coma?

Alan

Don't waste this, honey, have her paint the house.

Cory

Friday, I love Friday. Soon I'm gonna be home for the whole weekend.

Amy

Friday, I hate Friday. Soon you're gonna be home for the whole weekend.

Cory

Oh, you love me.

Amy

Oh, you wish.

Amy

When you're a kid, you see everything as right or wrong, black or white...

Eric

Blonde or brunette...

Cory

See, I've been doing my homework.

Amy

You've done homework?

Cory

It's a metaphor. So how do I avoid years of humiliation and abuse?

Alan

Don't get married. [Amy smacks him] It's a metaphor!

Cory

Eric I don't want to hurt Ingrid she's a nice girl But enough about her, get me out of this date.

Eric

Look, you heard what Dad said.

Cory

Oh, please, he's old. He's out of touch. I mean, the last girl he dated was Mom.

Eric

No, no, no, no Cor, Cor, Cor You have to go with Ingrid. You bail on this girl, it's all over for you.

Cory

Why? It's one girl, one date.

Eric

No, no, no You dump one girl, they're all gonna know and they're all gonna hate you. Remember, women are in constant communication with each other.

Cory

What are you talking about?

Eric

(Morgan walks in) Say Cor, did you enjoy the vegetarian chili mom made last night as much as I did? You know, sometimes I think we take our great mom for granted.

Cory

Eric, could we please stick to my problem for a second here?

Eric

Yes, your problem. Your problem is the international women's network. Look, you blow off this girl, everybody online's gonna know about it in the morning.

Cory

Oh, I don't believe that.

Eric

Well, you could be right, then again

Amy

[walks in] I didn't know you liked my chili. What can I get my wonderful boys for dinner tomorrow night?

Eric

And bad news, it travels even faster.

Eric

Look at me Im alone [Looking down]

Alan

[Looking at his test results] And you will be until your grades come up, Now until I see some letters here closer to the front of the alphabet... youre not going to any more dates.

Eric

[Looking sad] Mom, Mommy

Amy

Aww, Alan how can you be so cruel to my sweet little baby.

Alan

Well it was your idea. Eric you cant rely on your looks to get you through life.

Eric

But all I want to be is a weatherman

Amy

She's just a little girl playing house.

Alan

Amy, sweetheart, she's a little blond loon!

Amy

Come on Morgan, let's go watch TV.

TV's not funny. Cory's life is funny.

Cory

You know you guys never sent me to camp.

Alan

Are you insane?

Amy

We tried to send you to camp when you were eight, but we had to come and take you home.

Alan

Everyday you sent us letters telling us they were conducting medical experiments on you.

Cory

And they were!

Amy

I had relationships with four other men before I met your father.

Alan

I know three...