Jack Hodgins quotes from Bones

I remember getting grounded every weekend. So many rules to break, so little time.

Hodgins

[amused] You were the nerd fantasy.

Angela

I was all about Barbie.

Hodgins

She was my first anatomy lesson. Confused for years.

What about Ken? I felt so sorry for him.

Hodgins

[to Angela] Our victim... was kicked by a reindeer.

Angela

Oh. Get the hell outta here!

Zack

[points to a screen] The sacrum.

Angela

Wait. The evidence actually adds up to an old, fat man with a white beard, in a custom-made Santa suit who smoked a clay pipe and got kicked in the ass by a reindeer?

Hodgins

Why does everything have to be so damn hard?

Angela

How else would you know if anything was worth anything?

Brennan

Strontium is an element found in most rocks.

Hodgins

Human beings absorb it through the consumption of local vegetation and water. Over time the isotope collects in the bones, meaning--

Booth

You could use it to figure out where someone's from. [Brennan and Hodgins look shocked.] That's right, people. I am a constant surprise.

Brennan

I knew I shouldn't have gone to that funeral. It was a complete waste of time, just like I said.

Booth

Wait a second. You thought that my funeral was a waste of time?

I thought it was a lovely service, Booth.

Booth

Thank you! You know, I expected to see more people though...

Hodgins

I always imagined a lot of ex-girlfriends crying.

Booth

Yeah. Me, too.

Angela

You guys are pathetic.

Brennan

[to Booth] Just know I won't be attending your next funeral.

Brennan

(Booth is walking around the lab table, staring) Booth?

Booth

Hey Bones, I'm thinking here.

Brennan

Thinking about what, exactly?

Well, it's a pickle. The platform's a crime scene, but we need to access it to investigate the crime.

Angela

A "cake and eat it too" situation.

Zack

Is it a cake or a pickle?

Hodgins

It's Schrödinger's Cat.

Zack

That I understand. Cakes and pickles meant nothing to me.

If you wanna do one of your experiments just say it.

We wanna do one of our experiments!

Hodgins

[notices Sweets observing him] Why are you spying on me?

Sweets

[facetiously] Could it be because I'm the dupe of an organ of the shadowy forces that secretly run this country?

Zack

I'm king of the loony bin!

Hodgins

Yeah, you are.

Hodgins

I just wish Zack was here, that's all.

Booth

You gotta get over it. Zack's not coming back!

Zack

I know where to find the victim's head.

This is not good.

Brennan

How did you get out?

Zack

You don't look happy to see me.

Booth

Oh, we're not!

Brennan

I am. I really am. (runs to hug Zack, others follow except for Booth)

Hodgins

Does Brennan put "Mr." before your name?

Vincent

Yes.

Hodgins

That's her very subtle way of saying you're not a doctor.

Vincent

Can I ask you something?

Hodgins

Is there any way to say no?

Vincent

What ever happened to whoever it was who used to work here before me?

Hodgins

He joined forces with a serial killer who was the last in the long line of cannibalistic murderers specializing in knocking off members of secret societies and building skeletons out of their body parts.

Vincent

Wow, I hope that doesn't happen to me.

Hodgins

I am shocked.

Brennan

Yeah. They should not be doing that on the forensic platform.

That's a method of termination I've never tried. Bravo, Dr. Sweets.

Booth

They'll never work. They're, like, complete opposites.

Brennan

I agree. For all her faults, she's a woman of science. Sweets bases his life on the vagaries of psychology and emotion. There's no common ground.

Booth

Right.

Brennan

You need common ground. What else is there?

Booth

Absolutely.

Booth

What's going on?

Hodgins

Sweets is firing Daisy for us.

We're wondering what his method will be.

Brennan

He'll explain to her logically that this environment is not conducive for either her or us and as a scientist, she'll realize that he's right.

Booth

[shakes head] No, Sweets is a lot sneakier than that. He'll use some kind of psychological Jedi mind trick to make her think it was her idea to quit.

Hodgins

We're not idiots.

Wendell

I feel like an idiot. [Hodgins glares at him]

[to Wendell] You don't speak right now. Either of you.