Louise Belcher quotes from Bob&#039;s Burgers

Does anyone else think these girls all look like men?

Louise

I think they are men. This is a kind of man. We've discovered a new kind of man!

Do you think they're dangerous?

(An "Equesticle" in full costume hums a happy tune while brushing his dolls hair.)

Louise

N......no.

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Louise

Tina, did some guy just swindle you out of your toy horse?

What? No! I mean, kind of. Why would you say that?

Louise

(pointing at Bronconius) He just said it!

Wha, who, wha, what's goin' on, wha?

Louise

Tina got swindled!

Ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod!

AAAHHHH! I told you we should have never left the food court!

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(The kids discover the lump of ambergris and its distinctive odor.)

TGTina, Gene, Louise

(sniff) Gross! (sniff) Great! (sniff) Gross! (sniff) Great!

Louise

I can't stop smelling this enigma of gross-great!

Is that what sex will be like?

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(As Bob and Linda watch TV, Louise runs into their bedroom to retrieve the ambergris.)

Hey, why are you going into our room?

Probably putting something gross in our bed.

Louise

I'm taking something gross out of your bed.

Oh, okay.

Thanks, sweetie!

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Louise

Your name is a verb in this family. We call it "Geneing out."

I thought that meant taking off your pants after a good meal.

RRon

I was "Geneing out" at work the other day.

Hugo

[swerving the pedi-cab back and forth] I'm "Geneing out" right now!

Oh my God. I'm a verb. I'm a bad verb!

You're a "berb."

I'm a "berb!"

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Mom and Dad might not recognize us when we get back from go-karting. (pulling her hair back) 'Cause our hair will be like this!

Louise

(pulling on her face) And our faces will be like this!

And our penises will be like this! (pause) You can't see what I'm doing, but it's pretty great!

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Louise

I'm coming for you, T. If I finish the season in first place in B-League, I get a spot in the Kingshead Island Grand Prix!

But you actually have to win races to finish in first place. Maybe you didn't fully understand that?

Louise

Oh, ho-ho-ho, keep it up, Tina!

Way ahead of you. Literally.

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[Song: "Crappy Place/Happy Place"]

Tomatoes and green beans and sweet peas

It's a dream come true!

(glowering at Cynthia) I wanna take her stupid neck and wring it!

Louise

That's what I wanna do, too. But with him! (pointing at Logan)

The only thing greener than these plants is my thumb!

LLLinda & Louise

How did we ever get stuck with these bums?

The restaurant's now a crappy place!

(overlapping) I think I found my happy place!

I'm like a British lady in my garden

And my plants agree!

PPlants

Mmm-hmm!

Louise

(about Logan) He's the most annoying person who was ever born...

(about Cynthia) Oh God, she brought her own tea!

I'm the world's greatest farmer, things are growing so well!

LLLinda & Louise

We're living in our own personal hell,

The restaurant's now a crappy place!

I think I found my happy place!

LLLinda & Louise

The restaurant's now a crappy, crappy, crappy, crappy

(simultaneous) I think I found my happy, happy, happy, happy

AAll

Plaaaaace!

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Louise

It's not fair. Tina and Gene can be scared by anything. Watch.

(Louise claps her hands together. Tina and Gene are startled.)

Argh! Clapping!

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(Bob and Linda drive the kids to their own special Haunted House in a strange neighborhood.)

I've never been to this neighborhood before. Looks like a bunch of old people live here.

See, it's already getting good! Old people are scary.

Louise

Being an old person is scary.

(offended) Hey!

It is.

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(Going up to Bob and Linda's Haunted House).

Louise

Okay, let's see what the old kooks have cooked up.

I hope it's not Dad in sandals.

Yeah, his toes are a nightmare!

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We're not finished with the haunted house! We haven't even gotten to the exorcism!

Louise

I think we're good, Mom.

I was gonna spin my head around in a circle and barf on your father - like the good old days! Ha!

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(The family watches the video for "I Love U So Much (It's Scary)" by Boyz 4 Now)

Who's that girl? She's not a Boy 4 Now!

She won an essay contest. It had to be under 30,000 words and I couldn't cut mine down.

Louise

Yeah, that's rough. (She sees Boo-Boo) There's that idiot Boo-Boo. It was his dumb birthday last week. Not that I care, or even know that.

Allen does not make a believable mummy.

Wait, is that a different Allen from the last video?

No.

Yes, it is! They switch Allens sometimes, Bobby.

(getting annoyed) No. They don't.

Don't tell Teddy. That's his favorite one. He's a big Allen guy.

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Mr. Frond

So, you're in trouble again.

Louise

Drink some cranberry juice.

Mr. Frond

What? No, not "urine trouble!" You are in trouble.

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[On Bob's "Burger of the Day" board being left blank]

This is crazy! You're crazy! You do "Burgers of the Day" every day!

Teddy--

A NEW BURGER, EVERY DAY! IT'S THE ONLY CONSTANT IN MY LIFE!

[reassuring] Okay, easy, Teddy, Teddy, easy...

[shaking her off] No, no, no, get off of me!

Teddy! Teddy!

GET OFF OF ME! When I come back tomorrow, there better be a friggin' burger on that board! You hear me, Bob?!

Yeah...

DO YOU HEAR ME?!

Bye...

[to another customer, calmy] I'm sorry, sir, I know you're enjoying your lunch. [to Bob] PUT A BURGER ON THAT BOARD!

[He leaves and is heard screaming as the kids enter]

Louise

Uh, why is Teddy walking in the street, trying to punch cars?

He's overreacting because I--

[pointing and panicking] THE "BURGER OF THE DAY" BOARD IS BLANK! THE "BURGER OF THE DAY" BOARD IS BLANK!

AAAAAAAHH!!!