TV show quotes
You can tell that this is the kind of chick who's like, had her tubes tied.
Like, um...how come you know this chick's had her tubes tied?
Just look at her, Beavis!
I think I'm gonna go tie my tubes.
Shut up, Beavis!
The Stone Roses, Love Spreads
[a man jumps up and down]
Whoa, he's not even on a pogo stick. I'll be damned.
[addressing a man dressed in a devil costume] Uhh...hey Satan, how's it going?
How come whenever you see, like, Satan in a video, it's just some dork in a costume?
Yeah. The real Satan doesn't do videos.
Unless it's like for Danzig or something.
If they really had Satan on this song, it's like, you'd hear him talking backwards and stuff, because he can do that.
Oh yeah. You know, I can talk backwards.
No you can't!
Yes sir! Check this out. [backwards speech] Stnerap ruoy yebo. Loohcs ni yats.
Whoa! That was cool.
Yeah, yeah.
Do it again, Beavis!
Um, okay. Check this out. Okay, here goes. [backwards speech] Hguone si hguone. [normal speech] See? [backwards speech] Gniog ti s'woh yeh.
That was cool! So, like, what did you say just then?
I said "Hey, how's it going?" You should try it.
Uhh, let me see. Uhh...Beavis is a wuss. Ah, I mean, uhh...wuss a is Beavis.
Yeah, yeah, see? Anybody can do it. [backwards speech] Stnerap ruoy yebo dna loohcs ni yats.
How do you do that, Beavis?
You just talk backwards.
Yeah, but like, how?
Like this. Um...I am...no wait, that wasn't right...this is...uh, no...damn it, I forgot! I can't do it anymore!
You can't do it anymore.
Stone Temple Pilots, Plush
Is this Pearl Jam?
Yeah. Eddie Vedder dyed his hair red.
Wait a minute, this isn't Pearl Jam!
Yeah. It's good to see you thinking, Beavis.
That guy makes faces like Eddie Vedder.
No way! Eddie Vedder makes faces like this guy.
They both make faces like that John Belushi dude.
Yeah. And he's dead.
I heard these guys came first, and then Pearl Jam ripped them off.
No way, Butt-head! Pearl Jam came first!
Uh, well, they both suck.
Hey Butt-head, Pearl Jam doesn't suck, they're from Seattle.
Oh yeah.
[a rottweiler is seen in the video]
That bear is cool.
It takes a lot more than bears to make a video cool, Beavis.
What if the bear was, like, taking a dump?
Well, that might work.
I wanna dye my hair orange.
Yeah. You'd look good, Butt-head. You should do it.
Stone Temple Pilots, Vasoline
AAH, I DON'T WANNA LOOK AT SOME DUDE'S BUTT! Come on Butt-head, change it.
Come on, Beavis! This song kinda rocks! Besides, later, they show a dog's nads.
Oh. I'll stick around for that.
Dammit, I'm sick of seeing water in videos.
Yeah, but this water's cool because it's like, over by the power plant.
Oh yeah. Remember when we went swimming by the power plant, it's like, all warm and stuff? That was cool.
No it wasn't! Your turds were all orange for a month, and you got those big blisters on your nads.
I know! That's what I'm saying. It was cool.
Flies in the vasoline...
Flies in the Vaseline? That's cool.
Yeah. Remember when we put the fly in the gasoline? It was cool.
Yeah, but um, he didn't say gasoline, Butt-head, he said Vaseline. I think that's like something different.
I know that, dumbass! Dammit Beavis, you always ruin everything.
No I don't! I was just saying he was talking about Vase--look, it's a dog's nads! Is that what you were talking about?
Uh...yeah, I think that was it.
That was cool.
Stranglers, Skin Deep
Why do people make videos?
And why do they have to play this music? Why? Why?
It's like, some dude gets a guitar, and he sucks, then he gets together with other guys who suck.
Yeah. It really sucks. I'm gonna go outside.
Really? How come?
My butt's asleep.
Really? Cool.
Yeah, I'll be back later. [exits]
Okay Beavis. Whoa. Hey Beavis...[turns around]...Uhhhh...oh yeah. [sings along] Better watch out for the skin deep. [yells] Hey Beavis, what are you doing? Uhhh....this sucks. [exits] Hey Beavis, wait up!
Stray Cats, Rock This Town
(man who looks like Weird Al Yankovic appears in video)
(excited) Whoa, Butthead, check it out! It's Weird Al!
Yeah, Weird Al is cool!
(Weird Al lookalike is swing-dancing with an attractive lady)
Cool! He's gonna get some!
Of course he's gonna get some, dumbass, he's Weird Al!
Styx, Too Much Time on My Hands
Uh... [The two laugh dismissively]
What's this?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Beavis and Butt-Head pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
