TV show quotes
Remember that time in kindergarden, when we were playing store and you called the teacher a whore? And then you tried to give her some of that play money?
Heh, yeah. I think that was the first time I ever got some.
You didn't get any, dumbass. She just spanked you and told you to shut up.
Reverend Horton Heat, Psychobilly Freakout
It's a Psychobilly Freakout!
Yeah, yeah, it's a Psychobilly Freakout! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!
This dude is weird!
Yeah. He's like, our kind of people.
Uh, I think I used to see this guy down at Maxi-Mart, like, playing video games all day and like, drinking Slushies.
Oh yeah, yeah, I heard he got a million points on Centipede once.
Yeah. He's cool!
It's a Psychobilly Freakout!
It's a Psychobilly Freakout! Yeah, yeah! That's what it is, Butt-head! It's a Psychobilly Freakout! Everybody pull down your pants, [shaking] ah-YEEEEEEEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Um, heh, hey Butt-head, what kind of music is this?
Uh...
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT IT IIIISS!!!
Uh huh huh huh huh.
IT'S SOME KINDA TEXAS PSYCHOBILLY FREAKOUT, THAT'S WHAT IT IIISS!!!
I think it's, like, some kind of country music, but it's, like, country music after you've been, like, playing Centipede for, like, twenty four hours.
Oh yeah, yeah. This would make good music to play, like, while your playing Centipede? It's like, y'know, instead of you just goin' around goin': "DUN DUN DUN DUN DIDDLE-A DA DA DUN DUN DUN DUN DIDDLE-A DA!" Heheheheh, yeah, yeah!
I bet you could score a lot of points.
Yeah, yeah! Yeah, maybe you could score! Yeah!
Rollins Band, Disconnect
Whoa, hey Butt-head, check it out he's a liar, you know "Liar, Liar, I'll ripped your balls out! I'll kick your ass! Liar!"
Shut up! Those aren't the rules.
Whoa, whores! Check it out, Butt-head, whores!
Yeah. Whores rules.
Rollins Band, Liar
So you think you're gonna live your life alone...
Yeah!
...in darkness and seclusion.
Darkness rules!
...and then you meet me.
Yeah, I'd like to meet you. That'd be cool.
He's talking to a chick, Beavis.
[Henry Rollins is wearing a Superman outfit with the letter "R" on his chest]
Hey, isn't that the wrong letter on his chest?
Oh yeah, isn't it supposed to be like a five on there, or something?
Yeah. Maybe because like he's a liar, he put the wrong letter on there?
Yeah, yeah. He's a liar. Liar!
Lying rules.
Question...
Queshtun.
Queshtun.
That's pretty good, Beavis.
Yeah, thanks.
Question!
[parroting Sagat] Queshtun!
Why is it that every time I turn on the radio...
Why is it that every time I turn on the rrradio...
I hear the same five songs fifteen times a day for three months...
Question. Why is it that Beavis is fiddling with his wiener fifteen times a day for three months?
Shut up!
Funk dat!
Question! Why is it that every time I ask Butt-head to change the channel because a video sucks, he never does it? Funk dat!
They should get this guy on that 16 Minutes show instead of that old Mickey Rooney dude they got. He sucks.
Check this out, Butt-head. [imitates Andy Rooney] You know what I don't understand? Why is it that every time I pick my nose, it's full again in a few minutes? Funk dat!
You sound just like that buttmunch.
Check this out, too. [imitates Andy Rooney again] How come they call it taking a dump and not leaving a dump? I mean after all, you're not really taking it anywhere. Funk dat!
Sausage, Riddles Are Abound Tonight
What the hell is this?
Um, I think this is Primus.
No, this is the Seminefrious Tubloidial Buttnoids.
Really?
These guys, like, crawl up into people's butts, and, like, go exploring.
We should see these guys in concert.
Yeah. Ladies and gentlemen, the Seminefrious Tubloidial Buttnoids.
The Seminefrious Tubloidial Buttnoids have left your pants.
Hey Butt-head, what are those lights for?
That's so they can see when they're crawling around inside your butt.
No way, you mean it's dark in your butt?
Yeah. You know when they say "Stick it where the sun don't shine"? They're talking about your butt.
Oh. I thought it meant, like, under your pillow, or something. But if it's dark inside your butt, how do the turds find their way out?
I think they can see in the dark, like bats.
Oh. That makes a lot of sense.
Scorpions, Rock You Like a Hurricane
Is this Michael Jackson?
I think this is where he sleeps.
Nah, he told Oprah he doesn't sleep in the hyperbolic chamber. He has a skin disease.
You watch Oprah?! [laughs] What a wuss.
Shut up, butthole! I just watched it that once because I thought they'd show his hair on fire.
I'm not just a Hair Club member, I'm also the president.
Heh-heh...you said "member."
Seven Year Bitch, Hip Like Junk
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Beavis and Butt-Head pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
