Oh yeah, yeah, I've seen this before! This chick beats herself in the head later. It's cool.
Uh...oh yeah! This is gonna be cool.
S
You know what this band is called? It's called 7 Year BITCH!
It's like, when a band has a name like 7 Year BITCH, it's like, they don't need to be very good.
Also, it helps when [suave voice] they're sexy! Yeah! Ooh, that's a fine lady! These are some fine ladies!
Uh...okay, here it comes. [Lead singer hits her open hands against her head] YEAH, COME ON, HIT YOURSELF! YEAH!
She kinda looks like she got a little special feeling from doing that.
SVSelene Vigil
We're all so smart, and we're all so dense...
Uh...I think this song is supposed to be about how we're all stupid and stuff.
What do you mean? Like WE'RE stupid, or like everybody's stupid?
Dammit Beavis, I don't know! I'm not some rocket...some rocketship or something.
Shaggy, Boombastic
SShaggy
Mr. Boombastic!
Yeah! [imitating Shaggy] Yeah, Bombastic! Here it is!
[putting on a foreign accent in imitation] Mr. Romantic, Mr. Bombastic.
[babbles faux-Shaggy gibberish, the only comprehensible words are "romantic" and "bombastic"]
Bombastic! Yeah. [imitating Shaggy] BOMB-BAS-TIC! De bombastic.
What does "bombastic" mean, anyway?
Well, it's like, bombastic is even better than fantastic. It's like, if you were scoring with a chick, you'd be saying "Uhh, this is bombastic".
Really? I was thinking, if I was gonna score, I'd be going "Yeah, hoowah, spatang, spatang, yeah, tap dat ass!", you know, stuff like that.
Really? I ever score I'm gonna be going [impersonating Shaggy] "This is fantastic, Mr. bombastic."
Smooth.
What is this accent he's talking in?
Dumbass, it's foreign!
Oh yeah.
[Beavis humps the couch whilst Butt-head looks at him in shock]
Damn it Beavis, cut that out!
[imitating Shaggy] Bombastic, Mr. Fantastic...
Shonen Knife, Tomato Head
Uh...oh no.
This isn't very good, Butt-head.
Thank you, Beavis, like I couldn't have figured that out myself.
Yeah, anytime.
Boy, this really isn't very good.
Yeah, I know Butt-head. Tell me something I don't know.
Uh...OK. Know the last time you went to the bathroom?
Yeah?
I hocked a lugie in your Coke, and you drank it.
Um...uh...
It was cool.
I knew that! I spit it out.
No you didn't, you drank it.
Shut up, Butt-head! I took a dump on a cracker you were eating one time.
Yeah, I remember that, but I didn't eat it.
Yeah, but it was cool! You ate the cracker.
Yeah. I took the turd off and finished the cracker.
By the way, this video really sucks, Beavis.
Yeah, really. Tell me something I don't--uh, I mean, this sucks!
Shudder to Think, Hit Liquor
Whoa, check it out, it's Don Henley! I didn't know he was a wuss!
You didn't? Where have you been, Beavis? He's a total wuss!
Really?
Yeah. Any time you see a dude on TV and he's like, trying to save some forest or something, it means he's a total wussy.
Really? Let me see...Sting, yeah, he's a wuss.
Mm-hm.
Let's see, uh, who else...Ted Danson, yeah, he's a wussy.
And don't forget Jackson Browne.
AAH! Look at that, he's, like, fiddling around with a dead guy's boobs! This is scary. What if after I die, like, some guy comes around and fiddles around with my wiener?
So what, Beavis? You'd be dead, it doesn't matter.
Yeah, I guess so. I guess if I was out in the ocean with a dead chick, I'd probably kiss her.
I'd kiss a dead chick right here.
So would I. But that's kinda messed up, Butt-head.
Uhh, I know, I was just kidding, Beavis. You were probably serious.
Well, no. Not really.
Sick of It All, Step Down
This dude should get a better apartment.
It's like, at least we may not be millionaires, but at least we have decent places to live.
No we don't.
Oh, yeah. Well, at least we're pretty happy.
No we're not.
Well, at least we have lots of friends.
Not really.
Are we healthy?
No.
Our lives suck!
Yeah. We're cool.
These dances are pretty cool.
Yeah, but they're too easy. Check this out. [the camera cuts back to them. Butt-head makes pelvic thrusts while Beavis punches and kicks in the air. Caption reads "The Dillhole"]
That's cool. Remember this one? [the camera cuts back to them. Butt-head shakes his butt while Beavis jumps up and down with a gyrating motion. Caption reads "The Bunghole"]
Or how about this one? [the camera cuts back to them. Butthead jumps back and forth across the room while Beavis sways his arms. Caption reads "The Fartknocker Double Inverted Nad Twist"]
Next time we go to a dance, I'm gonna pull down my pants and ask a chick to do the Gorilla.
Beavis, the only dance you know is the Monkey.
Oh yeah. I'm gonna do the Monkey right now.
Silverchair, Tomorrow
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Beavis and Butt-Head pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.