SThe Shamen
A great philosopher once wrote, "Naughty, naughty, very naughty."
[imitating] Naughty! Naughty! Very naughty, naughty! Naughty, naughty! Naughty!
The Shamen, "Ebeneezer Goode
Shudder to Think, "Hit Liquor
Whoa!
Yeah.
This is horrible!
Yeah, really. Bunch of rich kid sissy boys prancing around on a boat.
Yeah.
Sir Mix-a-Lot, "Baby Got Back
See also: Sir Mix-a-Lot, "Monsta Mack", The Beavis and Butt-head Experience (Geffen Records, 3 November 1993), tr. 9.
I like butts. Huh-huh. Butts are cool.
The Sisters of Mercy, "Doctor Jeep
[television monitors are shown in the background throughout most of the video]
Is this, like, Jeopardy?
Yeah. Uh, I'll take "Stuff That Sucks" for 500, Alex.
Yeah. What is John Cougar Mellencamp?
You're supposed to form your question in the phrase of an answer.
Oh yeah.
You are now discolorfied.
[footage of televangelist Jimmy Swaggart is shown]
Whoa! It's that dude who likes all those prostitutes!
Yeah, yeah.
Check this out, Beavis. [imitating Jimmy Swaggart] "I have sinned against you!" That was cool!
Is this CNN?
Yeah. How come they never show reruns on the news?
They do! That's why it sucks! Every time you see something, it's already happened.
Yeah. That would be cool if, like, there was an explosion, and they would tell you where it's gonna happen so you could go check it out.
Yeah! That would be great!
Skatenigs, "Chemical Imbalance
Skateboards are cool.
Yeah, yeah. Like, I was skateboarding down a hill once, and I like, hit this rock, and it stopped my skateboard, only I kept going, so I landed on my stomach, and I kept, like, sliding, like, for a hundred feet, and I scraped up my entire body--
What are you talking about, Beavis? You've never skateboarded in your life!
Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Sorry about that. But - but like, anyways, s - so like, when I stood up, I had all this blood all over me, and like, these kids were watching, and like, that's when I knew skateboarding was cool.
You liar!
Yeah, yeah. Lying is cool.
Yeah.
[footage of a guy landing on his skateboard with his crotch is shown]
Ugh!
YES! YES!
You know, like, this band sucks. But it's like, they suck, like, in new ways, you know?
Yeah.
Like, they suck in ways we haven't, like, seen stuff suck before. So it's, like, pretty cool.
Yeah. It's like, a lot of bands suck, but then like, these guys, like, suck, like, in their own way.
Yeah!
So it's like, it's like, pretty cool because, like, stuff sucks, but it's like, it sucks, like, in a different way.
Yeah. But like, what I was trying to say, is like, they suck.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Skrew, "Picasso Trigger
Uh...come on, Butt-head, change it, I think this is that music factory thing again.
Uhh...no it's not. I think it rocks later.
Whoa! Is this White Zombie?
Uhh...might as well be.
What-- Marcus Welby, what...
[a man is shown with a suit and sunglasses]
Every time you see a dude like this in a video with a suit on and sunglasses, it means he bad.
Yeah, yeah. I think that's that guy from that commercial for the Institute of Entertainment Arts. Check this out. "Behind every rock band is an elite group of professionals that make the show happen!"
Oh yeah.
Um, I was thinking of signing up for that, you know. I bet I could score.
Beavis, you could own the whole arena, and you wouldn't score.
Shut up, Butt-head. I bet I could score if I had one of those cellular phones. Yeah.
Uhh, maybe. But you're never gonna get one of those.
Um, well, I can get a fake one. I'd be like, "Okay, we'll have the band over there, we'll be right over, okay." Yeah.
[Butt-head changes the channel]
Slash's Snakepit, "Beggars & Hangers-On
Uh...what happened to Axl?
Yeah yeah, really. These guys were probably, like, "Okay, Axl. I'm gonna give you one more chance, but if you wear another skirt on stage, you're out of the band."
Yeah! And then this guy came along, and he was, like, "Well, okay, I won't wear a skirt, but uh, can I like, at least wear tights?"
Yeah. And they were, like, "Hmm, tights. Well, okay, yeah yeah, go - go ahead and wear tights. Just don't wear any high heels or anything."
Um...who is this guy? This guy looks familiar.
Uh, he kinda looks like that little four-year-old down the street.
Yeah, that little kid who's always going, like, "It's my football! Give it back! I'm gonna go back to my house!"
Yeah! Remember that time he shoved his Power Rangers up your butt?
Really? Cool.
Uh, I heard that kid might have the same dad as you.
No way, really? Cool. Yeah.
You know who else this guy looks like? He looks like that dude that's always stomping us on the way to school and making us give him money.
Oh yeah, yeah. He's like, "You got some money? All the money I find on you is mine!"
Yeah. Remember that day he stomped your ass 'cause you only had a dime?
Oh yeah, yeah.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Beavis and Butt-Head pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.