Smart Beavis quotes from Beavis and Butt-Head

Butt-head

I bet these guys like practice their little wussy dance movies.

Beavis

Yeah. Guitars up! Two, three, four and kick!

Beavis

It's like, [high-pitched voice] Bobby, I smeared my lipstick when I kissed my finger. Can I borrow some of yours?

Butt-head

You're a little too good at that, Beavis.

Butt-head

Bobby. C.C., and Brettt!

Beavis

And don't forget Rikki!

Butt-head

Uhh...y'know I don't say this too often, but uh, this sucks.

Beavis

Ummm, you say that all the time, actually.

Butt-head

Uhhh...oh yeah.

Beavis

And to think that this dude used to boff Pamela Anderson.

Butt-head

Like that would ever happen.

Beavis

I think it did happen. But anyway, she's on this thing with, um, this guy, his name is...Anthony Roberts, he has these tapes, and these things, and he makes you feel good. She watched him, and now she has huge hooters and she's on TV. It's pretty cool, I was thinking of getting some of those tapes.

Butt-head

Yeah, you'd look good with big hooters, Beavis.

Beavis

Shut up, Butt-head. You know that's not what I meant.

Beavis

You know who else Pamela Anderson boffed, is, uh, Scott Baio.

Butt-head

Uhh, really?

Butt-head

You know, this Poison dude kinda looks like Pamela Anderson.

Beavis

Yeah, you know, I was thinking, y'know, if he got some hooters, maybe he could be on Baywatch. You know, since his career sucks now, he probably doesn't have a job.

The cops are well-groomed, with muscled physiques in Butt Town...

Butt-head

Butt Town?

Beavis

Yeah, that's what he said! He said Butt Town!

Butt-head

This is cool!

Beavis

Butt Town!

If you live in Butt Town....

Butt-head

Yeah! If you live in Butt Town...

...you gotta get down.

Butt-head

Yeah! You gotta get down!

Beavis

Butt Town! Yeah!

Butt-head

Butt Town rules.

Beavis

Hey, Butt-head, where is Butt Town?

Butt-head

I don't know, but I'm gonna find a map and go there.

Beavis

Can I come too?

Butt-head

Uh... no, Beavis. Dumbass.

Butt-head

This song has the best lyrics I've ever heard.

Beavis

Yeah, yeah! How did this guy come up with this stuff? Butt Town! You live in Butt Town, you gotta get down!

Butt-head

Yeah. This dude should hook up with Sir Mix-a-Lot, and they can like, sit around and talk about butts and stuff.

Beavis

Yeah, yeah! I'd like to see that.

Whores keep whoring, junkies keep scoring...

Beavis

Um...wha'd he say?

Butt-head

Uh...I think he said something about whores, and like, junk.

Beavis

Yeah, yeah! Whores and garbage, that's pretty cool.

Butt-head

Yeah, you can't beat that.

Beavis

Yeah I can!

Butt-head

Dammit, Beavis. [slaps Beavis, who screams] Don't start with me today.

Beavis

I wasn't. I was starting with me.

Get your rocks off, get your rocks off, honey...

Beavis

Hey Butt-head what's he saying? Get your rock salt? What's rock salt?

Butt-head

Uh...you know, like, doing it.

Beavis

Oh, really? It seems like uh...like most songs are about doing it.

Butt-head

Uh...yeah. You got a problem with that, Beavis?

Beavis

Uh, no...

Butt-head

That's the way it should be.

Beavis

Uh...oh yeah.

Butt-head

This like, uh... kinda rocks.

Beavis

Yeah, yeah, like you know... rock salt.

Butt-head

Okay, Beavis.

Beavis

Whoa, Butt-head, I just saw a girl's butt!

Butt-head

There's a lot of chick's butts in here, Beavis.

Beavis

No, I mean she was naked!

Butt-head

You're not allowed to show a naked butt on TV!

Beavis

Well, it looked like she was naked. And it was pretty cool.