Smart Beavis quotes from Beavis and Butt-Head

THese guys always wear the same clothes. That's cool. Hey, we always wear the same clothes! I've had this shirt on for six months!

Beavis

I've had this on for seven months.

Butt-head

Wait a minute! What's this? This sucks!

Beavis

Yeah, it sucks!

Butt-head

Who's this?

Beavis

Yeah!

Butt-head

What's this buttmunch doing on a stage?

Butt-head

You got a backstage pass, sir?

Beavis

Yeah! [Imitates the lead singer's German accent]

Butt-head

Where did this guy come from?

Beavis

Yeah. Maybe he's just special.

Butt-head

Yeah!

Butt-head

Well, he is saying balls, and normally, that would be pretty cool...

Beavis

Yeah, but under these circumstances, it sucks!

Butt-head

Yeah. Usually, demolition and destruction is pretty cool too, but I don't know, it's like, here, it just like...falls flat.

Beavis

Yeah, yeah! I think even if they had some fire in this video, it would still suck.

Butt-head

This is cool.

Beavis

Yeah. It rules. It rules. IT RULES!!!

Butt-head

Right on, Beavis.

Butt-head

These guys are cool.

Beavis

Yeah. It kicks butt! It kicks ass! It kicks ass!

Butt-head

Rock on, Beavis.

Beavis

Yeah, yeah! Rock!

Butt-head

No Way, they put that dude in a fence.

Beavis

Fences are cool.

Butt-head

Especially electric fences.

Beavis

[chanting] When I was little and had no sense/I took a whiz on an electric fence/It hurt so bad, it shocked my balls/Then I took a crap in my overalls!

Butt-head

Whoa! That was cool.

Butt-head

Uhh!

Beavis

Ahh!

Butt-head

Whoa, his eyes are sewn shut.

Beavis

Yeah, yeah! He must have seen something so horrible, like, his eyeballs melted.

Butt-head

Maybe he saw that Winger video.

Beavis

Yeah, yeah!

Beavis

Next time they have a clay project at school, I'm gonna make a big boob. Yeah yeah. Maybe a butt too.

Yeah. Last time you just made an ash tray. It sucked.

Beavis

Oh yeah. So? You made a baseball.

Oh yeah. Then the teacher called me a lazy turd.

Beavis

Yeah. So then you made that.

Yeah, but not out of clay.

Butt-head

Cool! Skulls!

Beavis

Yeah! Skulls kick ass.

Butt-head

That guy looks pretty cool.

Beavis

Yeah. He looks cool because he's like, dead.

Butt-head

It's like, this video looks pretty cool, but the sound sucks.

Beavis

Yeah. Check this out, Butt-head. [Beavis turns the volume all the way down]

Butt-head

Whoa! That's better. [Starts humming metal music]

Beavis

[Singing along] I'm a zombie/I'm a dead guy/I like to eat people's brains/and um, and like, look at my eyeballs/and I'm a dead guy in a corner/and I'm a zombie."

Butt-head

That was pretty good, Beavis! You should like, be a lead singer.

Beavis

Yeah! All I need is clown makeup.

Butt-head

I bet if we like, did that over this video, it would be like, a buzzclip.

Beavis

Yeah. We're cool.

I wanna spit in their faces...

Butt-head

She's gonna spit on someone?

Beavis

Yeah! Go for it!

Butt-head

That would be pretty cool.

I got a bowling ball in my stomach, I got a desert in my mouth...

Butt-head

Is that Dave Mustaine?

Beavis

Yeah. [imitating Dave Mustaine] I'VE GOT A BOWLING BALL IN MY STOMACH, I GOT A DESERT IN MY MOUTH!

Butt-head

That was pretty good, Beavis.

Butt-head

How many videos are they gonna make with chicks in a bathtub?

Beavis

At least if they showed them naked it would be cool.

Butt-head

Yeah. How come they never have chicks in showers?

Beavis

Like in soap commercials. Did you ever see that soap commercial where that chick gets stabbed? [Beavis imitates stabbing movements and Bernard Hermann's score] REE! REE! REE! REE! REE!

Butt-head

No, buttmunch. That's that movie about those guys in the woods.

Beavis

They're not in the woods. They're in the shower. [imitates stabbing movements again] REE! REE! REE! REE!