Smart Beavis quotes from Beavis and Butt-Head

Butt-head

That chick has small boobs.

Beavis

Yeah. You can tell even with that black square on there.

Beavis

How come they put those black things on all the girls' thingies?

Butt-head

Yeah. That sucks! How come they don't show boobs?

Beavis

Yeah! Yeah.

Beavis

Check it out, Butt-head, it's that little dude!

Butt-head

What are you talking about, Beavis?

Beavis

Wasn't that that kid from "Webster"?

Butt-head

Oh yeah!

Butt-head

Hey, Arnold. Where are Willis and Kimberly?

Beavis

I wonder if they're in the same jail?

Butt-head

Yeah. Right alongside Danny Bonerduce.

Beavis

Danny Bonaduce! Bonaduce! Bonaduce! Bonaduce!

Butt-head

Check this out. He's gonna say it.

Beavis

Say it! SAY IT!

Butt-head

Say it! Say it, bumwipe!

What'chu talkin' about?

Beavis

I saw pictures of these guys, and they had socks on their penises.

Butt-head

That would be cool.

Butt-head

Cool! This is cool!

Beavis

This doesn't suck.

Butt-head

Anthony Kiedis is cool!

Beavis

Yeah. These guys get all the chicks.

Butt-head

Yeah. These guys are cool!

Butt-head

Flea is cool!

Beavis

Yeah. Flea is cool!

Butt-head

I like the skull.

Beavis

Yeah.

Butt-head

Whoa! A mask!

Beavis

Yeah. That's like that joke, "If you were as ugly as me, I would shave my head and put a mask on my butt and walk backwards."

Butt-head

No, dillweed, that's not how it goes! It's, "If my dog was as ugly as me, I'd shave his butt and teach him to walk backwards."

Beavis

You mean, "If your dog was as ugly as you."

Butt-head

That's what I said! "If my dog was as ugly as me, I'd shave his butt and teach him to walk backwards."

Beavis

Oh yeah. That's pretty funny.

Beavis

Whoa, snakes are cool.

Butt-head

Yeah. I've got a good feeling about this video.

Beavis

Yeah, yeah, me too.

Beavis

[singing along badly] I got a wiggle stick, mama! [normal voice] I got a wiggle stick.

Butt-head

Well, don't wiggle it here.

Butt-head

This guy has, like, a really cool jacket, and like, there's snakes, and it rocks, and it's like, it's like, just cool.

Beavis

Yeah, yeah. This is cool.

Butt-head

What's all that crap on the newspaper?

Beavis

I think that's like, um...words and stuff.

Butt-head

Oh yeah.