Smart Beavis quotes from Beavis and Butt-Head

Butt-head

Hey, somebody's talking.

Beavis

Yeah, yeah, what is that? I hate it when people talk over videos.

Butt-head

Yeah, there's some guy going...[mutters incoherent gibberish]

Beavis

Yeah, at least if they're gonna talk, like, break something and like, y'know, just do something.

Butt-head

Either follow or lead or get off the pot.

Beavis

Yeah, really. Get off the toilet!

Butt-head

These guys are like a cross between like, Stone Temple Pilots and like, just a bunch of regular guys.

Beavis

Yeah, yeah. It's kind of like they're a cross between the Stone Temple Pilots and those dudes on Hee Haw.

Butt-head

Oh yeah. [sings] You met another and...[farts] ...you was gone.

Beavis

That was pretty good, Butt-head.

Butt-head

Whoa! Did you see that guy's cheeks?

Beavis

Yeah, yeah! That was cool. I've seen that, like, in a bunch of other videos, too. I can get my cheeks to do that, like, if I eat a lot of peas.

Butt-head

No way, Beavis, I've never seen you do that!

Beavis

No, I'm talking about my buttcheeks.

Butt-head

Yeah!

Beavis

Yeah.

Butt-head

They should put that in every video.

Beavis

Yeah. Yeah. That would be cool!

Beavis

Hey, Butt-head. What is all that stuff?

Butt-head

All what stuff?

Beavis

I don't know, all th - all this crap in this video, what is all this stuff? It's like...it's like, there's these...people, and then there's this stuff and, like, candles, and...and like, all this out-of-focus crap.

Butt-head

Uhhh...just the usual bunch of crap they always have on.

Beavis

Oh, is that what that is?

Butt-head

Uh, yeah.

Butt-head

I think this song is called "Blue Buddha."

Beavis

Oh yeah. Is that, like, when you get a blue veiner?

Butt-head

Yeah! Sometimes I wake up with a blue Buddha.

Beavis

Yeah, yeah. This chick's giving me a blue Buddha right now.

Butt-head

Dammit, Beavis!

Beavis

Yeah!

Butt-head

Pull up your pants, cut it out!

Butt-head

These chicks look like guys.

Beavis

Yeah. That one's not wearing a bra.

Beavis

Hey Butt-head. I heard that these chicks' grandpa is Ozzy Osbourne.

Butt-head

No way, asswipe. They're Elvis' kids!

Beavis

Oh yeah.

Butt-head

This video needs, like, more explosions and close-ups of butts.

Beavis

Yeah. They should have somebody come out and start kicking these guys! That would be cool!

Butt-head

Yeah! They could kick 'em! And punch 'em, too! Like Ice Cube! He could come out and kick all these guys! That would be cool!

Beavis

Yeah.

Just hangin' tough...

Butt-head

He said "hangin'."

Beavis

Yeah.

Butt-head

How come all these videos have cages in them?

Beavis

Because they're cool.

Butt-head

This is like a zoo, where they keep cool people.

Beavis

Yeah.

Butt-head

Hey, Beavis, do you have a nine-inch nail?

Butt-head

This is pretty cool.

Beavis

Yeah, nails are cool.

Butt-head

This part rules.

Beavis

Yeah, yeah! Rock! ROCK!

Butt-head

Hey, Beavis. You know the bass player in this band? He looks just like a regular guy.

Beavis

Oh yeah, yeah. If you just saw him at school, he'd probably like, you know, get his ass kicked.

Butt-head

Yeah.

Beavis

Hey, Butt-head. What is teen spirit?

Butt-head

Dude, if you don't know, I'm not gonna tell you. Dumbass.

Butt-head

Look, this video has cymbals.

Beavis

Yeah. Is that what they mean when they say videos have cymbalism?

Butt-head

[laughs] You said "ism"!

Beavis

Pep rallies suck.

Butt-head

Yeah.