Smart Butt-head quotes from Beavis and Butt-Head

Beavis

OH MY GOD! DID YOU SEE THAT?!

Butt-head

I sure did. And it was cool.

Beavis

I've never seen anything like that on TV. She was rubbing her butt!

Butt-head

This kicks ass!

Beavis

AAH, OH MY GOD! SHE'S STARK RAVING NAKED!

Butt-head

Yeah! You could see everything!

Beavis

Oh boy, this is exciting! This is action-packed!

Butt-head

I like this song.

Butt-head

Whoa, it's Death!

Beavis

If Death came over to my house, I'd just, like, kick him in the nads and run away.

Butt-head

Death doesn't have nads, Beavis.

Beavis

I bet his sack, like, shrivelled up like a little raisin.

Butt-head

[shudders] Ugh, that's disgusting, Beavis!

Butt-head

That spider's gonna do her.

Beavis

No way, really?

Butt-head

Uhh, she's naked again!

Beavis

Ooh yeah! Whoa, you can see her rump!

Butt-head

Her what?

Beavis

Her rump!

Butt-head

You mean her butt, Beavis?

Beavis

No, no, her rump. That's the part off to the side.

Butt-head

It's called a butt, Beavis.

Beavis

Oh yeah, I'm sorry. I just get tired of saying "butt" sometimes. I thought I'd throw rump in.

Butt-head

Now we're getting somewhere!

Beavis

Yeah, yeah! Now we're getting sonewhere.

Butt-head

Even the old dude is cool.

Beavis

Yeah, yeah!

Butt-head

I like the tornado.

Beavis

Almost everything in this video is cool.

Butt-head

What do you mean, almost? What else do you want?

Beavis

Um, well, it would be pretty cool, like, if somebody puked.

Butt-head

So let it be done. Check it out, Beavis.

Beavis

AARGHH! That was disgusting!

Butt-head

You asked for it, dude.

Beavis

Yeah, but I didn't ask for blood in it. That was beyond the limits of good taste.

Butt-head

Whoa! It's Barbie.

Beavis

They oughta get some dude without a wiener to play Ken.

Butt-head

Why don't you go for it, Beavis?

Butt-head

This chick has more teeth than most people.

Beavis

Yeah. Bite me!

Butt-head

She looks like that chick in the mall.

Beavis

Chicken what?

Butt-head

That chick in the mall!

Beavis

That chicken? What do you mean?

Butt-head

No, asswipe! I'm talking about that chick!

Beavis

Oh, you mean that chick who works at Chick-fil-A? That chicken place?

Butt-head

What's your problem, Beavis? I'm not talking about chicken! Pull your thumb out of your ear and back into your butt!

Beavis

Shut up, Butt-Head! You did talk about chicken! You said that chicken mall!

Butt-head

This video is upbeat.

Beavis

This video makes me want to get up and beat it.

Butt-head

You said "up!"

Butt-head

This makes me feel good.

Beavis

This video?

Butt-head

No. This! [Changes the channel]

Do you hear me?

Beavis

[Mocking] Do you hear me?

Do you care?

Butt-head

Do I care? No!

Beavis

Yeah, I don't care! Hell, I just don't care about anything!

Butt-head

He's thinking.

Beavis

Oh, I see. It's like, you tap yourself on the side of the head to think. I see. I haven't tried that.

(singing in a low voice) A little bit more than I could...ever want, A little bit more than you could...ever say.

Butt-head

This guy pronounces words weird.

Beavis

Yeah, really. [mocking the singer] A little bit more than you could ever say. [normal voice] Heh, heh, heh. [mocking the singer again] Fade away, fade away. [normal voice] What kind of an accent is that?

Butt-head

Uhh, I think that's the way they talk in like, Wussylvania.

Beavis

Oh yeah. And I was like thinking he was from California.

Beavis

What's that dude's problem?

Butt-head

Uhh, it's like, he's a little too into the music.

Beavis

Yeah, really. It's kind of embarrassing.

Butt-head

Yeah. The other dudes in the band are probably going "Uh, god, I wish he wouldn't do that".

Butt-head

Whoa, what's he doing?

Beavis

He's like, "come on, come on, open it up, come on, gimme my damn candy bar back, I wasn't done yet, I was saving that for after the video, spit it out!"

Butt-head

That was stupid, Beavis.

Beavis

I thought it was kinda funny. You know, like, you know...

Butt-head

Beavis, stop trying to be funny.