Smart Butt-head quotes from Beavis and Butt-Head

Butt-head

Where did this guy come from?

Beavis

Yeah. Maybe he's just special.

Butt-head

Yeah!

Butt-head

Well, he is saying balls, and normally, that would be pretty cool...

Beavis

Yeah, but under these circumstances, it sucks!

Butt-head

Yeah. Usually, demolition and destruction is pretty cool too, but I don't know, it's like, here, it just like...falls flat.

Beavis

Yeah, yeah! I think even if they had some fire in this video, it would still suck.

Butt-head

This is cool.

Beavis

Yeah. It rules. It rules. IT RULES!!!

Butt-head

Right on, Beavis.

Butt-head

These guys are cool.

Beavis

Yeah. It kicks butt! It kicks ass! It kicks ass!

Butt-head

Rock on, Beavis.

Beavis

Yeah, yeah! Rock!

Butt-head

No Way, they put that dude in a fence.

Beavis

Fences are cool.

Butt-head

Especially electric fences.

Beavis

[chanting] When I was little and had no sense/I took a whiz on an electric fence/It hurt so bad, it shocked my balls/Then I took a crap in my overalls!

Butt-head

Whoa! That was cool.

Butt-head

Uhh!

Beavis

Ahh!

Butt-head

Whoa, his eyes are sewn shut.

Beavis

Yeah, yeah! He must have seen something so horrible, like, his eyeballs melted.

Butt-head

Maybe he saw that Winger video.

Beavis

Yeah, yeah!

Butt-head

Cool! Skulls!

Beavis

Yeah! Skulls kick ass.

Butt-head

That guy looks pretty cool.

Beavis

Yeah. He looks cool because he's like, dead.

Butt-head

It's like, this video looks pretty cool, but the sound sucks.

Beavis

Yeah. Check this out, Butt-head. [Beavis turns the volume all the way down]

Butt-head

Whoa! That's better. [Starts humming metal music]

Beavis

[Singing along] I'm a zombie/I'm a dead guy/I like to eat people's brains/and um, and like, look at my eyeballs/and I'm a dead guy in a corner/and I'm a zombie."

Butt-head

That was pretty good, Beavis! You should like, be a lead singer.

Beavis

Yeah! All I need is clown makeup.

Butt-head

I bet if we like, did that over this video, it would be like, a buzzclip.

Beavis

Yeah. We're cool.

I wanna spit in their faces...

Butt-head

She's gonna spit on someone?

Beavis

Yeah! Go for it!

Butt-head

That would be pretty cool.

I got a bowling ball in my stomach, I got a desert in my mouth...

Butt-head

Is that Dave Mustaine?

Beavis

Yeah. [imitating Dave Mustaine] I'VE GOT A BOWLING BALL IN MY STOMACH, I GOT A DESERT IN MY MOUTH!

Butt-head

That was pretty good, Beavis.

Butt-head

How many videos are they gonna make with chicks in a bathtub?

Beavis

At least if they showed them naked it would be cool.

Butt-head

Yeah. How come they never have chicks in showers?

Beavis

Like in soap commercials. Did you ever see that soap commercial where that chick gets stabbed? [Beavis imitates stabbing movements and Bernard Hermann's score] REE! REE! REE! REE! REE!

Butt-head

No, buttmunch. That's that movie about those guys in the woods.

Beavis

They're not in the woods. They're in the shower. [imitates stabbing movements again] REE! REE! REE! REE!

Butt-head

Is this like, a commercial for VH1?

Beavis

Yeah. "The difference between you and your parents".

Butt-head

That's stupid.

Butt-head

The army kicks ass.

Beavis

Yeah, yeah. Is Anthrax in the army?

Butt-head

Uh, I think that Scott dude is in the army.

Beavis

Yeah, he has a regulation cut. Like Major Dan.

Butt-head

Yeah: "Today's army rocks".

Beavis

Hey Butt-head, this is like that thing they play, like, really late at night when the station's, like, going off the air.

Butt-head

Yeah, only the music's alot cooler. This should, like, be the National Anthem.

Beavis

Yeah, the National Anthrax.

Butt-head

Yeah, like they could play it at baseball games and stuff.

Beavis

Yeah, yeah! Like, the Judds could come out and go: "I CAN'T LOOK AT YOU! I CAN'T LOOK LIKE YOU!"

Butt-head

That's pretty good Beavis. You sound just like the Judds.

Beavis

Yes, bombs! Hey Butt-head, wouldn't that be cool if like, one day we were like, going to school and a bunch of planes dropped a bunch of bombs?

Butt-head

You dumbass. Bombs would like, hurt and stuff. It's only cool when they drop 'em on CNN.

Beavis

Is this Wilson Phillips?

Butt-head

Yeah. This is back when they were cool.