Smart Butt-head quotes from Beavis and Butt-Head

Your cigarette dangles...

Butt-head

He said "dangle."

Beavis

Yeah, yeah. The angle of the dangle is inversely proportional to the heat of the beat.

Butt-head

Whoa! That's pretty cool! You're pretty smart, Beavis.

Beavis

Yeah.

Beavis

Hey, that's that guy from Dumb and Dumber.

Butt-head

Oh yeah! I think that's Dumb.

Beavis

Oh yeah, yeah.

Butt-head

Whoa! We need to get one of those!

Beavis

Yeah, yeah, I know! I know! I KNOW! I've been saying that for a long time, Butt-head. It's like, we need to get a cool-looking chick. Maybe then people will start to respect us and stuff. It's like, then we'll start getting respect, and then we'll get more chicks, and then, like, with more chicks, like, we'll get more respect, and then after that, we'll get, like, more money, then we'll get, like, more chicks and more money and more respect, and we'll just, like, keep on going! And all it takes is just getting that first chick! Yeah, if we could just get one chick--

Butt-head

I'm not talking about the chick, buttmunch! I was talking about that air freshener thing in the car.

Beavis

Oh. Oh, oh yeah. Sorry about that.

Butt-head

Whoa! I wish I had a shirt like that.

Beavis

Yeah. That would be cool if we, like, had other shirts and stuff.

Butt-head

Yeah! It's like, you could wear one shirt one day and then, like, the next day, you wear, like, a different shirt. That would rule!

Beavis

Yeah, yeah.

Butt-head

Whoa! That's cool. It's like, this video was pretty cool, and then they show a naked chick in a tub.

Beavis

Yeah. Maybe she'll get up and dry herself off.

Butt-head

Yeah. That would be cool.

Beavis

Yeah. She doesn't want to get out of the tub 'cause she has morning wood!

Butt-head

Beavis! I hope you were joking.

Beavis

Um...y - yeah. Yeah, that was pretty funny.

Butt-head

Whoa! I saw that guy in detention!

Beavis

Yeah. He doesn't want to sit up 'cause he's got morning wood.

Butt-head

Rise and shine!

Butt-head

These effects aren't very special.

Beavis

Yeah. These effects suck.

Beavis

Whoa, look at that! They almost showed that chick's butt!

Butt-Head

Yeah, but close only counts in horseshoes and like, uh, lemonade, or something.

Butt-head

That chick has small boobs.

Beavis

Yeah. You can tell even with that black square on there.

Beavis

How come they put those black things on all the girls' thingies?

Butt-head

Yeah. That sucks! How come they don't show boobs?

Beavis

Yeah! Yeah.

Beavis

Check it out, Butt-head, it's that little dude!

Butt-head

What are you talking about, Beavis?

Beavis

Wasn't that that kid from "Webster"?

Butt-head

Oh yeah!

Butt-head

Hey, Arnold. Where are Willis and Kimberly?

Beavis

I wonder if they're in the same jail?

Butt-head

Yeah. Right alongside Danny Bonerduce.

Beavis

Danny Bonaduce! Bonaduce! Bonaduce! Bonaduce!

Butt-head

Check this out. He's gonna say it.

Beavis

Say it! SAY IT!

Butt-head

Say it! Say it, bumwipe!

What'chu talkin' about?

Beavis

I saw pictures of these guys, and they had socks on their penises.

Butt-head

That would be cool.

Butt-head

Cool! This is cool!

Beavis

This doesn't suck.