Smart Butt-head quotes from Beavis and Butt-Head

We've been swimming on the edge of a cliff...

Beavis

Wait wait a second... "swimming on the edge of a cliff"? I- I don't understand that. I don't get that at all.

Butt-head

Maybe it's like, uhhh, there's like a waterfall or something.

Beavis

No, no, that would be a waterfall, it's not a cliff. No, it doesn't make any sense. It doesn't make any sense. Swimming on the edge of a cliff? I don't get it.

Butt-head

Uhh, okay Beavis. It's dumb. Do you get that?

... We've been swimming...

Beavis

Well maybe there's like a baby pool- but you can't swim in a baby pool. Yeah I don't understand it.

Butt-head

Dammit Beavis, who cares? It's just stupid.

Beavis

If there was a pool on the edge of a cliff- just think about for like a couple minutes. If there was a pool at the edge of a cliff-

Butt-head

[getting annoyed] Uhh, anyway Beavis-

Beavis

Where's the edge of the pool? Is that the cliff?

Butt-head

Dammit Beavis, shut up!

Beavis

Wait a minute, maybe, maybe the whole cliff is made of water, or it's ice, because, you know, because then that's part of- no no, that isn't it.

You'll suggest a restaurant we used to go to...

Butt-head

She'd be a cool girlfriend, 'cause you could like come home and just say "Well, how was your day?" and then she'd be like "Bleh bleh bleh it was a Wednesday and duh-duh-duh...

Beavis

I'm sorry to keep harping on this, but I'm thinking about the cliff again, and maybe, maybe it's just like an above-ground pool. [Butt-head looks incredibly agitated] One of those infinite pools or something, but-

Butt-head

Dammit Beavis, if you say one more thing about the cliff, I'm gonna smack the living crap out of you.

Beavis

Hang on, hang on, let me just circle back to the cliff for a second, okay hear me out. My grandmother's favorite actor is Montgomery Clift. Now if he had a pool at his house- [Butt-head smacks Beavis] AHHH!

Beavis

Um...is this Richard Marx?

Butt-head

Uh, no. This is that Keith dude! From the Family.

Beavis

You mean Bonaduce?

Butt-head

No, dumbass. This is his big brother. Keith.

Beavis

Whoa! Keith Bonaduce! Bonaduce. Bonaduce.

Butt-head

Yeah.

Beavis

Um...um, is this, is this, um, Cheech & Chong?

Butt-head

Yeah. Cheech & Schlong.

Beavis

Yeah. Buttcheeks & Schlong.

Butt-head

Remember that album your uncle had with these dudes on it?

Beavis

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. That was cool. Remember that one where that guy was gonna go downtown and, like, show his schlong to somebody?

Butt-head

Yeah. [sings in a deep voice] "I'm gonna go downtown, gonna see my gal, gonna show her my schlong."

Beavis

Yeah, yeah, that was cool.

Butt-head

Yeah. And the guy keeps going, [deep voice] "Uh, you know. Uh, you know."

Beavis

Yeah. [deep voice] "Uh, you know." Yeah. "Uh, you know." Uh, yeah.

Butt-head

Yeah. "Gonna see my gal, uh, you know."

Beavis

Yeah, yeah. That was a good song, I wonder how they think stuff like that up?

Butt-head

Yeah. They need to do songs like that again.

Beavis

Yeah.

Butt-head

Whatever happened to that album?

Beavis

Um...I broke it, remember? I slammed it against the wall. It like, shattered.

Butt-head

Oh yeah. That was cool!

Beavis

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I thought it was pretty cool, yeah.

Beavis

These guys are in a trash truck!

Butt-head

Yeah. Somebody probably threw 'em away.

Butt-head

You know, this would rock if it was, like, just louder.

Beavis

Yeah, yeah. LOUD, LOUD! Why don't you just, like, turn it up?

Butt-head

If I'm gonna bother messing with the remote, I'll just change the channel.

Beavis

Um, okay. Do that, then.

Butt-head

Uh, okay. [changes channel]

Beavis

AAH! AAAH!

Butt-head

UGH!

Beavis

THIS SUCKS!

Butt-head

THIS SUCKS!

Beavis

Yeah.

Butt-head

Hey, Beavis. You think if I sang like a wuss, I could get some chicks?

Beavis

Well, you look like a wuss...

Butt-head

Shut up, Beavis!

Beavis

...and you talk like a wuss...

Butt-head

I'll kick your ass like a wuss if you don't shut up!

Beavis

Um...is this Led Zeppelin?

Butt-head

Uhh...I think this is, like, one of those things where, like, they say it's Led Zeppelin, but it only has, like, one of the original dudes in it.

Beavis

Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's like, they always do that. But you can tell who the original dude is because he's fat, and he's got, like, white hair.

Butt-head

Whoa, that dude has hips like a woman!

Beavis

Yeah.

Butt-head

That sucks when guys, like, just put out the same stuff over and over again. [chuckles] I said "put out."

Beavis

Yeah. But um, yeah but, but really, that - that sucks when like, when like, guys just repeat themselves. And just do the same stuff over and over.

Butt-head

You said "eat themselves."

Beavis

Um...

Butt-head

Rep-eat themselves.

Beavis

Oh yeah.

Butt-head

I think this is, like, where they like, show how they made the video.

Beavis

Um...um, I thought this was the video.

Butt-head

Uh...no, Beavis! This is, like, the making of the video.

Beavis

Really? They should just, like, show the video because, like, this thing sucks!

Butt-head

Is that that guy from Cheers?

Beavis

Yeah. That's that Sam Malone guy.

Butt-head

Whoa! Cult rules!

Beavis

Yeah. These guys kick ass!