Back at the Barnyard Season 2 quotes

Abby

Okay, Otis, you got your candy back. Now can we get out of this creepy place?

Otis

Sure we can.

Pig

Okay, that sounds good.

Abby

Let's go.

Otis

Right after I take a handful of candy from this tree trunk. [Otis attempts to take candy from Hockey Mask Bob's tree trunk but the animals stop Otis right before he does it]

Noooooo!!!!

Otis

Ah! What?

Abby

Otis, don't you dare take candy from Hockey Mask Bob's tree trunk.

Otis

Oh, come on, just a little to replace what we lost chasing Snotty Boy. Even a freak like Bob could understand the economics of that.

Pig

But the legend. He'll come back and take his revenge.

Otis

Oh, his revenge? ”Golly, I'm all a-tremble.” Guys, Hockey Mask Bob is all moon cheese and cracker dust. He doesn't exist. Now I'll just take a tiny handful, and we can be on our way.

Duke

First the lights, then the scream, Now the locked door, This has Hockey Mask Bob written all over it!

Otis

There is no Hockey Mask Bob. Someone get me a shovel. I'm breaking this door open.

Pig

Not me. I'm waiting right here so he doesn't get me.

Otis

All right, stay calm. Nobody panic.

Pip

Why not?

Otis

Because I'm gonna panic enough for everyone. [panics] OH MY GOSH, IT WAS REALLY HOCKEY MASK BOB! HE'S REALLY REAL! AND HE JUST TOOK ABBY AND PIG AND NOW HE'S GONNA COME AFTER THE REST OF US!

Otis

AAH! Hockey Mask used his demon powers to summon Abby's face onto his face! AAH!

Abby

No, it's really me! I just pranked you. We all did!

Pig

Hey, Otis.

Duke

How you doin', big guy?

Pip

Ha-ha, did we scare ya?

Otis

AAAH! Hockey Mask Bob used dark sorcery to reanimate the bodies of my friends in a horrible fashion! [screams]

One hour later...

Otis

AAAH! Hockey Mask Bob is pretending to be the announcer and making horrifying statements about the passage of time! [screams]

Abby

Otis, that thing costs, like, ten thousand tickets.

Freddy

Yeah, we'll never get that many.

Peck

Ten thousand?

Otis

Guys, did Napoleon quit when he needed ten thousand tickets to conquer France? Did that other guy quit when he needed ten thousand tickets to do that ten thousand ticket thing? No! I'm not saying it'll be easy. I'm not saying--

Snotty Boy

[during laser tag] Ha! You showed mercy! You're weak! That Z-Box is mine! Say goodbye, stupid enlarged kid!

Otis

Wait a minute. Kid, family, nougat, suspension bridges... Pig's pocket mirror!

When you wake up in the emergency room, tell 'em Donk E. Cheese sent ya. [gives Snotty Boy a wedgie]

Snotty Boy

[screams]

Abby

Well, Otis, you did the wrong thing.

Otis

I sure did, Abby. I sure did.

Pip

Yeah, it was actually pretty stupid.

Peck

Yeah, I mean, you just gave it to him.

Otis

[annoyed] I know what I did!

Abby

It's that crazy bull!

Peck

He eats cowboys for breakfast!

Freddy

And accountants for a light snack at 4:00!

Abby

Otis, what happened to your leg?

Otis

Psycho asked me to help him move his couch, and then busted my leg, and said mean things, and the farmer decided to ride him to win the love of Bronco Betsy, and now he's doomed!

Pig

I get his raisins! I mean, after we get over the initial shock of this.

[as a mall Santa] Ho, ho, ho! Merry Chr--[Snotty Boy jumps in his lap] Oof!

Snotty Boy

[yanks Hilly's fake beard and snaps it back] Shut your holiday hole, beardy!

Say, you're a hefty little guy, ain't cha?

Snotty Boy

Now, listen good! Every year, I ask you and your sorry giant behind for the same thing: a Red Ryder BB Taser with double-pump battery action for extra painfulness! But you never bring it to me!

Why, I think I'm losing feeling in my legs.

Snotty Boy

If I don't get a BB Taser this year, you'll be VERY, VERY, SORRY!

I'm already sorry. Sheesh, is it Easter yet?

Yo, Otis. Offer him cinnamon.

Oh, ja, Santa is the silly for the cinnamon!

Otis

Ah, it's okay, Santa. We'll just drink all this delicious cinnamon eggnog ourselves, having a cinnamony good time. Nice meetin' ya, though. Cinnamon.

[beat] Did they tell you to mention cinnamon?

Otis

Yes.

Well, it worked! Let me at that bad boy!

So the elf says, "That's no pixie! That's my wife!"

Abby

Santa, you are hi-larious. [laughs]

Pig

Hey, Santa, do you know the Easter bunny?

Know him? That carrot jockey owes me 50 bucks!

Pig

Tell us another story, Santa.

Peck

Yeah, tell us a story!

Pip

Yeah, come on, Santa.

Abby

Tell us a huge one!

Another story? What is this, Santa's book club? Hey, next time I'll tell you about when me and Rudolph went on spring break. No hiding from the cops with that nose.

Elves like to ice skate, but I'd rather scuba! When this gig is over, I'm off to Aruba!

Ach du Lieber! You broke Santa!

Now he can't finish delivering the presents, and we still got this county to go!

Otis

Okay, okay, calm down. We can work this out. Uh, maybe Santa can make it up to the county with some nice Presidents' Day gifts, huh?

Don't you know anything about Christmas?

Ja! If Santa's not finishing his rounds by midnight, the law of Christmas magic'll be kerfuftenzeiger! That means "broken"!

And if the law of Christmas is kerfuftenzeiger--

Broken.

Santa gonna lose his holiday powers permanently!

Und zat means no more Christmas, forever!

Otis

What?! You mean, I--

YOU KILLED CHRISTMAS!

Bessy

Nice going, sugar plum moron.

Snotty Boy

Ha-ha! That stupid old Santa Claus better bring me what I want this year, or he'll get a stocking full of pain, and a gift certificate for suffering! Tah! I'm witty.