“It's an Udderful Life” quotes from Back at the Barnyard

[as a mall Santa] Ho, ho, ho! Merry Chr--[Snotty Boy jumps in his lap] Oof!

Snotty Boy

[yanks Hilly's fake beard and snaps it back] Shut your holiday hole, beardy!

Say, you're a hefty little guy, ain't cha?

Snotty Boy

Now, listen good! Every year, I ask you and your sorry giant behind for the same thing: a Red Ryder BB Taser with double-pump battery action for extra painfulness! But you never bring it to me!

Why, I think I'm losing feeling in my legs.

Snotty Boy

If I don't get a BB Taser this year, you'll be VERY, VERY, SORRY!

I'm already sorry. Sheesh, is it Easter yet?

Yo, Otis. Offer him cinnamon.

Oh, ja, Santa is the silly for the cinnamon!

Otis

Ah, it's okay, Santa. We'll just drink all this delicious cinnamon eggnog ourselves, having a cinnamony good time. Nice meetin' ya, though. Cinnamon.

[beat] Did they tell you to mention cinnamon?

Otis

Yes.

Well, it worked! Let me at that bad boy!

So the elf says, "That's no pixie! That's my wife!"

Abby

Santa, you are hi-larious. [laughs]

Pig

Hey, Santa, do you know the Easter bunny?

Know him? That carrot jockey owes me 50 bucks!

Pig

Tell us another story, Santa.

Peck

Yeah, tell us a story!

Pip

Yeah, come on, Santa.

Abby

Tell us a huge one!

Another story? What is this, Santa's book club? Hey, next time I'll tell you about when me and Rudolph went on spring break. No hiding from the cops with that nose.

Elves like to ice skate, but I'd rather scuba! When this gig is over, I'm off to Aruba!

Ach du Lieber! You broke Santa!

Now he can't finish delivering the presents, and we still got this county to go!

Otis

Okay, okay, calm down. We can work this out. Uh, maybe Santa can make it up to the county with some nice Presidents' Day gifts, huh?

Don't you know anything about Christmas?

Ja! If Santa's not finishing his rounds by midnight, the law of Christmas magic'll be kerfuftenzeiger! That means "broken"!

And if the law of Christmas is kerfuftenzeiger--

Broken.

Santa gonna lose his holiday powers permanently!

Und zat means no more Christmas, forever!

Otis

What?! You mean, I--

YOU KILLED CHRISTMAS!

Bessy

Nice going, sugar plum moron.

Snotty Boy

Ha-ha! That stupid old Santa Claus better bring me what I want this year, or he'll get a stocking full of pain, and a gift certificate for suffering! Tah! I'm witty.

Otis

And now, back to the show.

Hey, that's my line! Do I go down to where you work, and do whatever it is you do?

Snotty Boy

So, fat man, we meet again. [in the same style as his signature laugh] Ho-ho-ho! I usually say "ha", but I changed it to "ho", 'cause it's Christmas, and I'm clever!