Otis quotes from Back at the Barnyard

Freddy

This is horrible! My dearest friends are gonna be barbecued! [sobs] Mmm, mmmmmmmm. I mean... [sobs]

Duke

I'm too young to be eaten. Too young!

Pip

Dude, get a grip. You're a dog. The farmer's not going to eat you.

Duke

What, you're saying I wouldn't be nice with some low-fat chips and a nice cherry cola?

Otis

Alright, enough with the chips and the cola! This is crazy talk, people, come on! Even if the Farmer came in and dipped us in seasonings, I still wouldn't believe it.

Pip

Captain Cold Cuts, two o'clock!

Freddy

He's marinating Joey in olive oil! I would've used teriyaki and a chicken or a Cornish game hen, but that's if I craved flesh! Which I don't!

Otis

[glares at his cream cheese statue] How can I look you in the raisin eyes again? [smacks the statue across the barn]

Pig

[runs past Otis] Ooh! I got dibs!

Otis

Everyone, the farmer has betrayed us. So pack your things. We're leaving the barnyard, forever!

Pig

Hey, who's got bagels?

Pip

We're ready to go, Otis!

Otis

Has the escape pod been built to my exact specifications?

Pip

Yeah, listen, we couldn't get an escape pod, so we had to go a little more low-tech.

Otis

Okay. So, no warp drive?

Pip

Uh, no.

Otis

Thrusters?

Pip

Uh-uh.

Otis

Air brakes?

Pip

No.

Otis

Doors?

Pip

Negative.

Otis

Is there a floor?

Pip

Uh, define floor.

Otis

Alright, well, uh, we got hot air. That's a thing, right? Where do we get that?

Pip

You don't wanna know.

Pig

My work here is done.

Otis

Now, the Farmer we've loved is gone for good, but we can still end his carnivorous reign of terror!

Pig

Mmm, pass.

Pip

Pass.

Abby

Pass.

Freddy

Big pass. Huge pass.

Otis

That's pathetic. Did Luke Skywalker pass when he had to blow up the Death Star? Did Tarzan pass when Jane was threatened by the Chimp King? Did that guy... pass... when he had to do the thing... in the place with those people?! You bet he didn't! NOW, WHO'S WITH ME?!

Otis

[gripping his own neck, using ventriloquism with his other hoof; high-pitched voice] Get in the cart or the cow gets it.

Freddy

Don't hurt him! Please don't hurt him!

Peck

Otis, we are so sick of this stupid game of yours!

Bessy

Yeah, I hope you're faster than a speeding butt-whoopin'!

Otis

Whoa, citizens no likey the Cowman.

Abby

Now, you listen, Otis, your idea to fight evil around the barnyard by becoming a superhero is just plain--

Freddy

Dumb! D-U-M-N-7-L, dumb!

Pip

Dude, there's no "L" in "dumb-7".

Otis

They're just wrong, Pip. I know we have what it takes to be superheroes.

Pip

We're way better than most of those other costumed losers out there.

Otis

Yeah, like the aqua dude. I mean, his tights are silly, and how much crime really happens underwater?

Otis

Pip and I have this great idea. We totally want you guys to join us.

Bessy

Yeah, I'll do that right after never.

AAH! Nathan, that crook from TV just kicked our door in!

[in the kitchen, not noticing] You're mad, gal. Just one of them salesmen. They're getting bold...

Quiet, lady. Cowman's on my tail.

Cowman? Tell me everything.

Otis

[running to Mrs. Beady's house] I can't let him harm Mrs. Beady. [stops] Then again... [goes back to running] Nah, nah, I'd better stop him. [rushes into Mrs. Beady's house, confronting the crook] It is I, the uddered avenger! I am justice in-cow-nate! I am-- [Mrs. Beady hits him with a frying pan] ...sleepy. [passes out]

Hehehe. Thanks for the help, lady. Now, I'm outta here.

Not so fast. You're in this with me, so... GET BACK INSIDE!!!

Otis

[groans] Ma'am, as a deputized officer of the law, I must warn you that you will not get awa--

Oh, hush! I know who you really are. You're one of those talking animals from next door.

[finishes tying up Otis] Okay, uh, this is getting a little weird for me.

Because of you, people laugh and call me crazy. Not anymore! [to the crook] Unmask him!

I ain't gettin' too close. What if he has super-melting vision or somethin'?

Oh, for goodness sake. [gives him the camcorder] Here, you tape us. I'll unmask him myself.

Abby

Oh, being superheroes was awesome, Otis. Can we do it again?

Otis

Of course, Abby. With great cow power comes great cow responsibility.

Bessy

Great, more cows in spandex.

Otis

Hey, what's in this sandwich?

Duke

Veggie salami.

Otis

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Duke

I pre-chewed it, so you wouldn't waste precious jaw energy.

Otis

You... you pre-chewed this sandwich in my mouth?

Duke

Mm-hm.

Otis

So the sandwich in my mouth was previously in your mouth.

Duke

[walks away] Nice taste, huh?

Otis

SPIT SANDWICH!!! [licks the grass to get the germs off]

Otis

Okay! No more! I give up! I cannot do this anymore!

Duke

What, play fetch?

Otis

No! I can't keep faking life-threatening situations, so you'll save me, and we'll be even, and then you'll finally LEAVE. ME. ALONE.

Duke

I was just trying to be nice since you saved... [cries]

Otis

Duke, Duke, don't cry. Look, I'm sorry. I'm not trying to hurt your feelings, but please, stop being nice to me!

Otis

Excuse me, distinguished guests, may I have everyone's attention? It is that special time at the Truffle Bucket when we all play our favorite game.

[singing to Pop Goes the Weasel] All around the Truffle Cafe, the people don't suspect it, but due to their delighted surprise, pop! [Otis pushes a button, catapulting all the humans out of the barn] They're ejected!

Otis

I just got a letter saying the Max Fripplehoot is coming here tonight!

Peck

The founder of of T.G.B. Fripplehoot's?

Freddy

I love the theme song! It's your birthday, make a mess, it's your birth-- [anguished] The birthday song has driven all other songs from my brain!

Pig

Everyone, I thought you'd like to know that, well, how can I put this? I quit!

Otis

You can't quit! What do you mean, you quit?

Pig

Oh, look, Grammy's pies used to be about friendship and all the good times we had together. Now, it's all about, "Money, money, money! What can I buy, what can I buy?"

Otis

And?

Pig

Well, look around! Duke's a mummy dog, Freddy's a complete whackjob--

Freddy

BIRTHDAY!

Pig

The restaurant is sucking the fun out of our lives, you know? And I'm through with it, I'm gone, goodbye! [leaves the barn]

Abby

Well, so much for buying my own Italian soccer team.