[about the Hot Cops] These guys are pros, Michael. They're gonna push the tension 'til the last possible moment before they strip.
They're not going to strip, are they?
I told them not to, but I can't promise that their instincts won't kick in.
S1 E10Pier Pressure
S1 E11Public Relations
We need to make Michael the new face of the Bluth company. He's the only likable one in the bunch. No offense.
None taken.
There are very few intelligent, attractive and straight men in this town.
Well, that certainly leaves me out. [Everyone looks at Tobias] You said "single," right? She said "single."
Uh, I'm unclear about what it is exactly you do.
Excellent question. What a publicist does--
No, no, I was talking to George Michael. When did you get a job?
I work at the banana stand.
Oh, duh. I thought you meant, like, a plumber or something, and I was like, when did that happen?
Your father's religious now? We'll play that up. It's very sympathetic.
Yeah. Who doesn't love the Jews?
[in prison] Gentlemen, we do not wave our genitals at one another to make a point!
I'll have the Ike and Tina Tuna.
WWaitress
Plate or platter?
I don't understand the question, and I won't respond to it.
S1 E12Marta Complex
Oh, I see. She wants to talk to you. For some reason women feel safe around you. Maybe it's because you've only had sex four times.
Not four times, four women! And they talk to me because I talk to them!
L2Lucille 2
Buster, this is exactly why our relationship does not work.
Our relationship doesn't work?
L2Lucille 2
No, not as long as you keep getting me all mixed up with your mother.
It is exactly the opposite. I'm leaving my mother for you. You're replacing my mother.
L2Lucille 2
Well, that's healthy.
[holding out a tissue] Blow.
No mother. I can blow myself.
S1 E13Beef Consommé
It would help if you would all show up looking like a loving, supportive family.
For how long?
Ten minutes tops.
See if you can get it down to five.
[to Michael] Tell you what. You may not be good with women, but you are great with other people's women. I'll give you that.
Was Aunt Lindsay ever pregnant?
Oh yeah. Dozens of times.
S1 E14Shock and Aww
It's George Michael, he told me. I think he wants a mother.
Well that's ridiculous. He's got you, he's got our mother. You'd think that would turn him off to the entire concept.
I don't have the milk of mother's kindness in me anymore.
Yeah. That udder's been dry for a while though, hasn't it?
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