Et tu, Brute?!
RSRussian Soldier
Et me, buddy.
S3 E10Crossing Over
It has to be your place. Mine totally reeks of ocelot piss.
This time really get in there. All you've been doing is giving one side hell.
Who hunts dogs?
Orientals, duh!
Where did you learn all that stuff?
You know I grew up on a farm, right?
Really hoping that's not relevant.
And instead of doing my job, I was here...Half-drunk and having amazing sex.
Well, I wouldn't say "amazing." [Archer looks at her] C'mon, you were pushing rope!
If anyone found out, I'd literally die of shame.
And how do you think that makes me feel?!
I don't care, Pam! [Pause] Having said that, would you please come into this dirty toilet stall and have sex with me?
Oh, alright. [As they go into the stall] But this time, really get in there. All you've been doing is giving one side hell!
S3 E11Skin Game
I'm not a serial killer!
Wait, why did you emphasise "serial"?
[Archer and Cyborg-Katya are in bed. Cyborg-Katya's eyes are glowing red]
Can you close your eyes? It feels like I'm banging tail-lights on a country road.
If you want to know why Archer is Archer, you need to go back in time and have a threesome with Oedipus and Sigmund Freud!
[Archer has drunk an entire bottle of scotch]
That was a gift to my grandfather! From Frank! SINATRA!
Which makes me feel even more terrible, since I'm going to puke it back up in five-- [burps] one minutes...
Is anybody gonna ask how and why I knew to show up here?
Is...? Okay, I'll bite.
By tracking the satellite signal from Katya's internal hard drive, which Doctor Dipshit over there bought from the KGB.
Krieger!
Yeah, but... the savings.
Like, eighty bucks you saved.
S3 E12Space Race: Part I
Uhhh ... SMOKEBOMB! [runs away]
[Archer holding baseball mitt up, as ball slowly floats back to him]
Fuck you, space.
Happy, Cyril?! You just destroyed Alderaan!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Archer pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.