Listen, when we dock, I'm gettin' a tattoo of an anaconda that's coming outta my groin region! It's gonna say Bad Ass...in ancient Script. Like Egyptian, maybe.
S5The Marines
Also [puts his hat on] I joined the Marines.
You did what?
I joined the Marines.
[Frylock awakens to find his head in a trap]
Where am I?
PPuppet
Welcome to Canada, Frylock. The key to the trap on your head is implanted in your skull, just behind your right eye. On the table in front of you is a grapefruit and grapefruit spoon. Do the math.
Wait, wait! What's the grapefruit for?!
PPuppet
[pause] I don't know actually, I forgot. You think you can maybe...grab your jaw and sort of rip your head open. I want to see inside there! Rip your head open!!
[Shake and Meatwad find Frylock in Canada]
Frylock! We found you! I miss your beautiful face!
How was Canada?
Canada? Uh, Canada sucks.
Well, so does the Marines.
[Shake is covered in blood]
Well, pack your things, maggot. We goin' to the Middle East.
Hell no! Let's see the Marines try to take me like this!
[Master Shake pulls out a shotgun and puts it in his mouth]
Shake, NO!
[Shake blows his own head off. Cut to an aircraft carrier at sea.]
[His head having been poorly reassembled] Unbelievable! They took me like this!
Meatwad: You smokin' and jokin' with these potaters or are you peeling them, maggot?
S5Bible Fruit
Uh, Hello! What are you doing over there without me?
I'm updating my MySpace page.
Well, I'm about to update your My FACE page with my ASS unless you get in there and read us a story!
I don't want to hear a story, I wanna watch a story.
No, no, the TV is tired of you looking at it!
How do you know? You don't know the TV.
I do! I'm very good friends with the TV. That's how we get all the good shows.
What are you doing, Frylock?
I told you once already.
Look. I'm about to whip it out. And I'm gonna urinate all over this room and you will WISH that I did not ingest all that asparagus.
All right, go ahead. Whip it out.
He wants to come out and punish you.
Go on. Show him.
Oh, I will. In private. Because there's not enough room in here.
Why don't you ask that TV if he'd mind showing me some Futurama? I like me some Futurama.
Well, now we're too damn cheap to receive it, so go the hell over to Carl Central and watch it to your heart's content.
Carl gets Futurama?
He didn't even want it until we started watching it.
Will y'all SHUT UP?! Meatwad, will you pick up this fake vomit? I'm havin' my new friends over for drinks, and they don't need to be seein' that, okay!
Well, only some of it is fake.
Oh, yeah? I'm having friends over too and believe me when I tell you my friends will hurt your friends! They're gonna call them names and beat the ever-loving-sweet crap out of them!
That one's fake... [Meatwad proceeds to roll down the vomit-encrusted hallway, pointing out which is fake vomit and which is real vomit]
Seems like there's a lot more real than fake down here...
Will you shut the fuck up and vacuum the hall!
...okay...
I'm making a mojito. Everyone... who would like a mojito.
You know we only have one glass, Shake. Keep you nasty mouth off of it, okay? Save it for our guests....for..them to..share.
Someone wants a knife fight. Someone I'm looking at.
You sincerely mean that?
Maybe I do. I just don't like the way you boss me.
You just calm down, all right? And don't say something like that in front of my friends.
CCarl
All right, this ain't happening. I'll see you fruits later.
Wawaa... wawaa... wait, wait, my wingman! C'mon! One of them is a WOMAN.
CCarl
You poke around and figure it out. I have standards!
Right, Bert? Remember that Bert? Bert! Remember how hard you would hit me?
As hard as I could, as long as I could. Frankly, all the hitting drained me. I had to go to the hospital and have my hands replaced. I was too high, too out of my mind to know I had ruined my hands hitting her. But those days are over. No crack for me. No beating my fiancé. No strangling drifters for sex. No! No more. 'Cause JESUS lives in my heart. Yaaay... Jesus!
Interesting, interesting. Tell me this: have you read King Kong?
Uh, no.
You have, okay, and you believe THAT don't you? But before you answer me, I just...uh... you know what? Go ahead and pour me a little bit of a full glass of that rum.
Bert, you've been sober for 47 straight days (pouring rum down the sink)
Hey, dammit, that's my rum! You don't have to pour it down the sink, man!
We're going to do it together. Right, Bert?
You don't have a monkey wrench, do you?
Bert, I know what you're thinking and...
What, I'm not going to dismantle the pipes and drink from the U-trap. I mean, that's what an animal does! (Mortimer turns on faucet)
Dammit, Mortimer, you're diluting it!
Get out of my way, you orange whore! (throws Tammy Tangerine)
FFrylock (to Mortimer)
Hold that thought.
Stupid! Someone unscrew these pipes or I will shoot myself tonight! I will do it this time!
No, honey, don't!
MMMortimer Mango (to Frylock)
Don't worry. This is... this happens... a lot. And I have his gun.
Son of a... dammit!
No, honey, don't!
Useless... surgically attached... banana hands!
TTTammy Tangerine (to Frylock)
I'm so sorry. We're not normally not like this.
Okay. All right I see and now you want sex with the fries. Is that it? Yeah, tell him some more lies! That's what you're good at! Lies from the wolf!
I'm sorry, Bert.
Yes, you are... a sorry sack of tangerine bitch. Go do him! I'll watch! Do it before thine eyes!
Oh, Bert, please don't hit me!
Then get the liquor faster.
Well, ya'll make yourself at home. I need to go get some uh...
Son of a... damn it!
Ah, fuck it. I just need to go.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Aqua Teen Hunger Force pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.