Come on, give me just a little bit of that booger sugar.
Bert, no.
I'll make you feel real good with my mouth.
Bert, calm down, Bert...
I will not calm down until cocaine enters my system!
S5Bible Fruit
Bert, you don't want to do this right now. This is not...
Do you have some?
No.
You have some, don't you?
It is the Devil.
You do.
Bert.
You have, you've had, you've had some this whole time.
I have not touched cocaine in three years.
YOU LIAR! I will drag you right into my private hell, you don't wanna know my pain. I HAVE A DEMON INSIDE OF MEEEE!!
MMMortimer Mango (to Frylock)
Oh, good, you're still here. So... um, wow. So before you mentioned you were into science.
Yeah, man.
Yeah, that must be a fun job.
Look, I don't have any cocaine.
I was not going to ask you for cocaine, sir.
Good. Then I don't have to answer it.
Well I used to be an addict. I mean it was terrible. Do you see this? (shows missing fingers) I was building a birdhouse on drugs and I lost two fingers. I feverishly wanted to finish it and I wasn't making sound decisions.
Remember my roommate, the cup you met earlier? He's filled with crystal meth.
Oh, cool. Thanks.
MMMortimer Mango (pulls out a pistol)
Everybody split up! We have to find the cup! The cup has the drugs!
The cup?!
The cup?!
There's crystal meth in the cup!
Filled with magic.
I saw the cup. It's in the back. Go after it! Get that cup!
Get him!
Meatwad (holding wires and sitting on a tire): All right, so, how do I do it now?
Are you grounded?
Yep.
Okay, good. Now touch the red wire to the green wire.
Okay, but what, what about Shake? [In the window, Bert is going after Shake with an axe]
What about him?
Heh, that's what I said, yo. Ba-ba-boom!
[Meatwad touches the wires together; the house explodes]
S6Shake Like Me
Well I was told that they was going to get a trampoline. You know, maybe I was just projecting my desires onto them.
I jump on a tramp every night. That's how I roll. The juice just keeps on flowing. Who is writing this down? This is gold.
Means depth for flips and twist. It means this pools poorly contructied. At Bast!
I wanna trampoline.
Ya heard him?! The boy's want your trampoline!
And I want a SpongeBob bounce house, and a donalds hiccups with real llamas. Not the stuffed llamas you win at the ring toss at the fair, but--but I want a fair too. Have them have a fair.
So you're gonna hop to it? Or will I have to beat you down in front of the child?
[As Master Shake bleeds while the worker bites him in the shoulder]
(as the worker bites him) AAAAHH! What are you, a Vampire?! (Continues screaming) Why didn't I get that tetanus shot?!
(At Carl's swimming pool after Master Shake became Mocha Shakah)
Go on. Swim.
MSMocha Shakah
No.
(to Meatwad) You're right, he's black.
MSMocha Shakah
Aww, DAMN!!
(outside the house with the spinning rims)
MSMocha Shakah
I put a spell on them hoes ya'll! I'm hell on them hoes yo.
What hoes?
MSMocha Shakah
Just...hoes in general. You know...fly honeys...that I would hit...with my genitals.
(Mocha Shakah reverts back into Master Shake)
Dammit! I can't freestyle anymore!
'Cause I created a blaccine. And I injected it into your orange soda when you weren't looking.
Aw, man! The hell you say! Mocha Shakah don't listen to the lies!
Oh, really? Shake, what's the boss up to nowadays?
Springsteen? Man I love the E Street Band! You know he's doin an album with Pete Seeger? All acoustic. OH, GOD, NOOO!!
YES!
Hey what did the Dow do today? DAMN IT!
Down over 60 points.
My 401K! (kicks over Boxy Brown while running off) When do the Simpsons come on?!
S6She Creature
Cut him down!
Hold on there, tough guy. (Terry and Dante approach the pool with a dead body rolled up in a carpet)
CCarl
Oh, hey! Terry... I thought we were conducting this, uh, "conference call" tomorrow morning?
Boss says he wants it done now.
Or he'll take your OTHER nut.
CCarl
Hahaha! Listen to this guy, bustin' my balls. Balls. I got two... We gotta talk about this publicly!
You know, maybe you oughtta think about that the next time you bet 20G's for the Jets to cover.
CCarl
Well, you told me the inside dope was that the other team had the flesh-eating virus...
You gettin' smart with me? (Holds a pistol in Carl's face) Huh? Smart guy!
Wanna trip down a flight of stairs, huh? Have an accident in your pathetic life?
You're pathetic. Say it.
CCarl
I-I'm worth nothing in your eyes, sir.
I knew that. Now get your monster up here to take care of this trash.
CCarl
Say, before you guys go, who do you like in the AC Beach Invitational?
AC Beach?
CCarl
Women's billiards. You guys do book on that, right?
JESUS, you're a fuckin' loser! (Looks at Frylock suspended above pool) Hey, scuba guy - you ain't seen nothing, you aint heard nothing.
CCarl
See, Fryman, let that be a lesson to you. If you see someone racketeering, you let it go - they're diggin' your own grave.
Look, Carl, I know it's none of my business, but gambling is a dangerous addiction.
CCarl
All I need is one run, and I'm back! You follow women's billiards? Wait, I got an idea. How much money you got?
No, Carl.
CCarl
It's a proven system!
No.
CCarl
You're throwing money away!
Nuh-uh.
CCarl
Yeah-uh! Fine! Stay a sucker!
CCarl
What did you do to my pool?!
We cleaned it. Now it's gonna be ready for the bitches we got comin over this summer.
Frylock!
Sorry, I meant to say hoes.
There we go.
Sorry.
[The mobsters return to Carl's house at night, this time carrying a heavy body wrapped in a plastic bag]
Ugh! Fuckin' sumo wrestlers. When I say take a dive, you take a fuckin' DIVE, you fat fuck!
[Terry and Dante throw the body into Carl's now-clean pool]
I don't think he understood English.
Well, he's about to be sushi, so blow the fuckin' horn.
[Dante blows the shellfish horn, but nothing happens.]
What the fuck is this... the water looks clear! Hey, where's that big fuckin' fish?
You rang?
[Frylock fires his eye lasers and hits the gangsters, knocking them unconscious]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Aqua Teen Hunger Force pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.