Aqua Teen Hunger Force Season 5 quotes

Yippie-ka yay, motherfucker!

And why are we here? Why Boston?

Master Shake

Synergy.

Where do you connect the kite?

Hey, just build it, you fucking pansy! [Franklin ahems from Revere's profanity] You know what? Fuck you! I'll be down at the bar where I parked the car. I fucking meant horse.

Meanwhile, in Baltimore.

Look, it's Boston! And it's a bomb!

Boston is a bomb!

You think I don't know that, you dumb cast of the musical Hairspray dick-sucking, motherfuckers!?

It's a bomb!

Guy, it's a freaking light.

Guy, it's a motherfucking, cocksucking bomb!

It's a freaking light!

Bomb!

Light!

Bomb!

Light!

Bomb!

Light!

Bomb!

Light!

Bomb!

Light!

It's a bomb!

Will you shut the fuck up! You stupid, shit-eating cast of the musical Hairspray! Bunch of faggot motherfuckers!

Look, seriously? It's just a light.

No! YOU look, seriously! It's a fucking bomb!

Oh, my freaking God! It's a bomb!

It's a bomb!

Get the freak out of here, dude! Hey, hey! Sox rule!

Master Shake

Bomb, light, whatever. It's just a hoax.

Frylock

Shake, a hoax is a humorous or malicious deception and this is clearly not that.

Master Shake

I don't care! You can't make us leave! [Cut to the house] Damn it! They made us leave!

Frylock

Well, at least we made some money.

Master Shake

No, I spent it all, on this!

Master Shake

That's Paul Revere going through Bill Buckner's legs with a bowl of chowder. And he's got Plymouth Rock in his pants. And those are witches casting a spell on the cast of Cheers. And that is a lobster bib, still working on that. Oh, and that's uh Ted Kennedy riding a dolphin through Chappaquiddick.

Boston is safe, now.

Frylock

But, we're in New Jersey.

New Jersey is near Boston, and now they're both safe. Also, no one is safe.

[Master Shake explodes] Oh, no! He was the bomb, not the sandwich! The sandwich was harmless all along!

Or so you think.

Err

Fools!

For in a mere forty eight hours, this sandwich will rot in mold and envelop the panicked city in blue spores of... sandwich mold.

Err

Oh, man. Look. He just threw it away.

The sandwich?

Err

Yeah, man! The sandwich!

Really?

Err

Threw it in the garbage.

Damn it.

Err

SHIT!

We must go to the store at once and stock up on deadly meats and cheeses, spreading fear and mayonnaise and... your choice of spicy or regular mustard throughout the Western world.

Err

Yeah, let me just get my money and just go on down to the... Oh, wait! Where the fuck are we going to find a store?!

Look, we're not going to do that. That's... that's just for the video.

Err

Oh, yeah, the video.

You were filming, right.

Err

Is this on?

Here, take a picture of me. I'm going to... saw my own head off.

Err

Yeah, do that. That will show them.

Yes, it will. Down on your knees, America. The rivers will run red with my blood. Digital... This sucks, I'm not doing this.

WE live here now!

Yay!

Who are you?

Well I'm thee uh...I'm thee, real-a-tor... and I gotta say, I'm puttin' my foot down. I need proof of uh... you know-you gotta job, man?

I have no credit, no savings, and I'm between opportunities.

But I must warn you, he is lazy...

...Extremely lazy

Markula

Carl, have you seen the deadbeats around? You know, "the food".

No, they left in the middle of the night.

Markula

That's because I had demons drag them off into the night. I'm not going to fix a gas leak for them. At this very moment they are being cocooned by military spiders in a cave in the Mojave Desert. That's what I do to a-holes. But not you [the robots]. I would never do that to you. You're free to stay here forever and ever. [Transforms into a bat] Now, feast! [leaves]

Feast on what, man?

Oh, boy! Invisible robot meat! My favorite.

Look, kids! Invisible robot meat!

Robot meat! Robot meat! Robot meat!

...All right, if you need anything [holds a flame to the gas leak setting the house on fire] do not-do not come next door.

Carl...Carl...Hey Carl...CARL!

AH!!!

We can't sleep.

Can you?

Get outta my friggin' house!

No, I want some water.

Yes, we all want water.

Yay! Water! Water! Water!

Fine, fine! Get some in the bathroom and then get out of here!

[pause] Robots don't drink water. Use your brain. You failed test #1.

What're you talkin' about man?

You will pass or else [dramatic music plays].

Or else what?[the robot shoots Carl's right shoulder hair off] Ah! My shoulder hair!

Come on kids. Chubby is grumpy.

Chubby's grumpy.

Whoa whoa whoa, do the other one. At least make it even [the robot shoots Carl's left shoulder hair off] Ah! Now get outta here!

Hey Ma! It's Carl! How are you doing! Hey Ma, I'm thinking of packing my bags and heading over to that dark dismal va hospital you live at.

Carl, come outside!

Carl, hang up!

Oh, no, no, no, I'll bring a car it'll be fine.

Carl!

Hang up, Carl!

What do you mean tomorrow's physical therapy? It's Carl! Your Son! Ya, the one with the mustache! Oh, is that right? WELL YOU TOO YOU BITCH!

Frylock

Hi, this is, Frylock. Sorry, we can't come to the phone right now as we're currently being cocooned by military spiders in the Mojave Desert. At the sound of the tone-

Shake

"At the 'sound' of the tone"? Wouldn't it just be "at the tone"?

Frylock

Shut up, Shake. I like to be thorough.

Apply the diodes!

You will feel no pain.

You will feel no pain.

But you must sit very still.

You must sit very still.

Ring the bell when the flies come.

Ring the bell when the flies come!

Okay, is this a test?

Yeah, it's a test, sure. See you in one hour.

Okay, I got a bee. Does a bee count?

No...no, only flies.

Only flies!

We have had legendary arguments with flies!

I still got one more test here. I got a test, uh, for you.

Well, we don't take tests.

Yeah, but this one's supereasy. It's called..."count the bullets."

Well, we're not good at math.

15,943. Do more! More! They're like vitamins to us.

Yeah? (Carl keeps shooting through the end of the show)