Frylock quotes from Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Man. This is some good TV right here. [wakes up Shake who is sleeping on the chair] Hey hey hey.

Master Shake

[yawning] What?

You missin' some good TV.

Master Shake

Change it.

I ain't changin this. This is the best.

Master Shake

[pulls out a flaming arrow] Change it.

To what? Come on, this is good.

Master Shake

Why don't we let the arrow decide.

Aw don't do that- [Shake fires the flaming arrow at the TV] AW COME ON!

Master Shake

And now it's changed. The changeling.

Frylock

[from bedroom] What was that?! What's going on?

Master Shake

What do you think it was?!

It was you boy.

Master Shake

[goes to an empty closet] What the- Hey! This closet was full of TVs last time I checked and now there's none.

'Cause you keep breakin' 'em.

Master Shake

'Cause you keep pissing me off so bad! You should be lucky I direct my anger at the media, and not your buttocks!

Something's wrong with that TV!

Frylock

There's nothing wrong with that TV.

Frylock

Okay, something's wrong with the TV.

Frylock

You can't use the cloner to counterfeit money, Shake.

Master Shake

Look, we will discuss this when I feel like it. Right now, I gotta go get a new Camaro, 'cause that's where the shit is, baby!

Frylock

[as Shake leaves with a bag full of bills] There are limits to how much you can clone. Matter breaks down over time!

Master Shake

[heading out] Blah, blah, blah, blah, I'm sorry I'm not fluent in Dorkinese!

Frylock

Hmmm, well, on the other hand, I could use this to feed all the hungry children of the world. Yeah, with my new chain of family-style restaurants. [Puts dollars into the cloner and the money piles up] Oh, yeah. Oh, hell, yeah! [Phone rings] Yeah, I'm busy. What?

Hey, Fryman. Ordinarily, I wouldn't call you 'cause I don't like you, but you're on the TV, man. [Psychotic TV Frylock puts a six-pack on the floor] Check out channel...666. That's weird.

Frylock

Look, Carl, I don't have time...

Whoa! Hang on, I'm on it now! That is me. [Psychotic TV Frylock high-fives TV Carl and hands him the beer] Awesome! Awesome! Friggin' awesome! I'm on TV! I look pretty good. Chicken skin diet's really paying off for me. [Psychotic TV Frylock, after a toast, shoots TV Carl] Oh, God. You stay far away from this house. Do you hear me?! Far away!

Shake

Who let the hippie in here? I got news for you, pal: The dead are dead, okay? So maybe what you're looking for is soap, which is at the grocery store. You know, food you don't have to pick?

Frylock

Shake...

Shake

They sell meat there...

Frylock

Uh, Shake?

Shake

...and while you're at it --

Frylock

Shake!

Shake

Now! Shut up! I'm talking to him!

Frylock

He's George Washington!

[sighs] I am.

Shake

Well, what the hell is he doing next to my Benjamins?

I have come bearing a message. Great Britain sought taxes from the colonies, and they paid for their greed with blood. Now, do you understand the price of avarice?

Shake

Take him out.

Wait! NO! [Frylock shoots him repeatedly with a shotgun]

[holding gun to his own head, with several smoking holes] I done took him out didn't I?

Master Shake

Yeah... you really took him out...

I knew I took him out..hee hee yeah! Hey, did I take him out?

Frylock

Ah, we should have cloned twenties. Jackson wouldn't have given a shit.

Welcome to Video Oujia.

[slowly] Spirits that haunt this house....COME OUT! And play with me!

Master Shake

What do you think you're runnin' the Matrix? You're gonna break that thing.

SSSHH! You disturbin the presence...

Frylock

Shake, he needs silence so he can talk to the dead.

Master Shake

What he needs is lack of oxygen so he can become the dead.

Frylock

Okay, Meatwad. Time to put the game up. It's gettin' late.

Come on!! Just one more dead person, please? Just one more dead guy.

Frylock

All right, one more.

Spirits that haunt this house. Tell me...what was we talkin' 'bout?

My sister's baby.

Oh yeah, one them other dead boys told me about that. How she doin?

She's dead. We're all dead.

Well at least she had all her fingers and toes, you know what I mean?

Please, all together, hold hands.

No, no no no. No, no. No, sir. I don't know what kinda vibe you think got off me but I don't play that way. I'm not that way!

Frylock

Carl..

I don't uh... do both sides of the field. Offense and defense, you know, with the short shorts? No-

Frylock

Carl, it's just a seance, it's not that way, come on, will ya?

Now, please. Kiss him deep with tongue.

Do what?!

Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho. Just kid. Just kid, dirty boy. Touch hands.

You boyfriend and boyfriend!

Frylock

Meatwad!

Please. Read from sheets. I Am...

I Am...

Sofa King...

Sofa King...

We Todd Ed...

We Todd Ed...

Now, repeat all very fast, please.

I Am Sofa King...

Faster.

I Am Sofa King We...

No, no, not so fast. Loses meaning.

I Am Sofa King We Todd Ed.

Hohohohoh, you say funny thing.

Frylock

Amazing! Do you realize that now this chip can be inserted into a microbot that enter into someone's skin through a pore-

[takes microchip] Or it can be inserted into the mouth, manually, so it can battle hunger and taste good. [swallows microchip]

Frylock

Tell me you didn't just eat that frickin'-

Well boy you said it was a chip. So where's the dip? Or am I lookin at him?

Master Shake

Oooooh! You did not even just do that! You are so dead! Oh NO you DIDN'T! Oh my God!

Master Shake

Alright, my teeth feel gritty, and I'm gonna lie down.

Frylock

I need that chip Meatwad. One way...or the other.

Oh okay. Fecal matter. Stool sample.

Frylock

Don't talk about it, just do it.

Well I don't do it. My body consumes all waste material. It's like the Thunderdome in here, only, two men enter...no man leaves. Rated R.

Frylock

No!

Starring Mel Gibson, and Master Blaster.

Frylock

Are you serious?!

Yep.

Frylock

You don't...

Don't what?

Frylock

Uuuhh...

Come on.

Frylock

Uuhh...you know...

Look, we are all adults here. You can say it.

Frylock

Uh, poop?

[laughing] YOU SAID POOP!! Hey Shake, Frylock said poop in here!

Master Shake

[from bedroom] Poop! HAHAHA! [vomits] HAHAHA! Poop!

Frylock

No, Shake. The other kind, the bad kind. The kidney-losing kind. In fact, this is not a check at all, Shake. This is a bill, for home care!

Master Shake

Impossible. That's not a bill.

Frylock

This is... Cliff, does anyone know a Cliff?

Yes, my name is Cliff, and that's not a bill. Tell him, Err.

Err

That's a bill.

A bi— Why are we trying to cash a bill, Err?

Err

I don't know. It's your uncle.

It is my uncle. Don't you forget it.

Err

On the way down, I kept saying, 'This is a bill.' Just figured you knew something I didn't.

I did know something I didn't! But it wasn't that.

Master Shake

Wait a minute. I've been hauling a radioactive bill all over town, for you guys?

What are standards and practices?

Frylock

Well, that's an interesting question Meatwad. Here, let's take a look at this video.

Standards and practices are a vital link in keeping good and funny ideas away from you, the television viewer. Watch how this nun reacts when we blow her brains out.

No! Permission not granted!

Oh no, somebody's going to get an e-mail. What's a better, more acceptable solution.

That's right a happy & colorful rainbow. Although not nearly as funny, it's guaranteed not to offend the black people.

No! Unacceptable!

Ooo, did I say black? I meant to say minorities?

Acceptable!

Looks like someone's about to get an "A". By following the rules, you're guaranteed to make a mediocre product that no one can relate to.

Frylock

So you see Meatwad, THAT's why I can't say the J word.

I don't understand any of this sh*t! [Red Check mark appears]

Frylock

That's ok Meatwad, no one else will either.

Hey. Hey. Hey, hey. Do a search ... for free pizza. Then see if it come out this drive. [looks in empty cup] Is this a drive?

Frylock

I'm reading my news, if you don't mind.

News is good food for your mind, but I want food for my mouth.

[muttering] You better hear what I'm sayin', I'll unplug this whole computer...

So, what was we talkin 'bout here?

Frylock

Well people say they're seeing the face of, the J-man, and they're claiming to be healed.

Uh-huh. Who's the J-man?

Frylock

Ya know...starts with a J, son of...G. Died and went to H...on the C?

Died on the C...Commode. Commode! Elvis! It's Elvis!

Frylock

No, but he was a king. And he did live in a Graceland of sorts. [Frylock sighs as Meatwad continues to not get it] He looks like Ted Nugent.

Oh yeah, I know that ol' boy! It's Je-

Frylock

Don't say it! Let's just call him...Gee Whiz.

Dear Gee Whiz, please bless thine presence with a 16-inch thick crust meat craver's special, with the mild sauce. Amen. And please bring a side of wings while we wait.

Frylock

Meatwad, what the hell are you doing?!

Shut up! He's making pizza!