Meatwad quotes from Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Frylock

Oooh. This one's easy.

No kidding. Put down Backstreet boys.

Shake

Shh. Meatwad, be quiet.

Frylock

All right, how're we doin'?

Fine.

Shake

No, we're not doing that. My eyes... are thirsty as hell. Who do you think you are?

Frylock

I'm the only US President to serve 2 non-consecutive terms in the oval office.

Shake

Then that would make you Grover Cleveland and...why is this comin' out of my mouth?!

Frylock

Meatwad, how many non-consecutive terms did Grover Cleveland serve?

I'm fine. Everything's fine like wine.

Frylock

Why don't we just... unhook you..

Hey, should we get Shake? 'Cause he's gettin' eaten by aphids.

Frylock

Nah. He'll get a ride.

So uh, when are we doin' the sports part here?

Frylock

We're not. We didn't. It's over. We lost. DID YOUR ASS GET ENOUGH WINGS?!

(points to a pile of bones as tall, if not taller, as the booth itself) Uh, you tell me. Does this look like I got enough?!

Hey Carl, can I... give me your celery?

No, I need it for fiber. (the music stops) I HAVE PROBLEMS!

Master Shake

[attacking the TV] Who's laughing now, bitch?! Piece of crap cable!

Frylock

What are you doing?

Master Shake

Maintenance! Shut up!

No, no, no.... don't shake it up, let the snow settle! That way you can see the little San Fransisco in there!

Master Shake

[enthusiastically] Well, come here! Let's see if we can see it together!

Okay!

Master Shake

[kicking Meatwad offscreen] HA! It's not a snowglobe, you IGNORAMUS!

Frylock

How many TV's have you broken this year?

Master Shake

A lot more than you have! I'm teaching this object a lesson. If it doesn't want to get hit anymore, it'll straighten up and fly right!

Lean to your left!

Okay (leans left)

Lean to your right!

Right! (leans right)

Lean to your left!

Oh, over here? (leans further right)

Uh-uh, that's your right!

Awww, damn it!

Now lean to your right!

Like this? (leans even further right)

Hey, you got it right!

[Falls over] All right, cool.

Frylock

Okay, Meatwad, that's good.

I never get tired of hearing that

Frylock

(floating near the TV chair) Now what's this over here? (gestures on the right side)

That's a chair.

Frylock

No, I mean is it left, or is it right?

Well, it's a chair, and it's right over there!

Frylock

Yep, I think it's about time we invested in a high definition plasma screen.

I thought you said TV was bad.

Frylock

It is. But we fucking need it.

Master Shake

This is not a time for you to be picky, Carl. That's all you can get when you go to the West End.

[arms start beating up Carl] Get it off, rip it off. What am I doing, oh God!

Frylock

Oh no! The body's rejecting the head!

Oh, ya think?! Get it off me!

Frylock

Hold on!

So.. did it work?

Master Shake

Of course it worked!

Frylock

No it didn't!

Master Shake

Of course it worked not at all. Which is what I was trying to say, before I was so rudely interrupted.

Frylock

Take this body back, and not through town!

Frylock

I give you the ultimate in military hardware! Complete with laser cannon, indestructible titanium exoskeleton, and motion activated plasma pulse rifles.

Master Shake

And you're gonna plug him in?!

Frylock

You're right. Damn, what the hell was I thinking?

Fudge!

Frylock

That's not an F-bomb.

Fart you!

Turn it left, turn it left! I keep hittin' the same spot. Look, you're gonna break my friggin' nose!

Frylock

Sorry Carl, I still haven't gotten used to the...

Just give me the damn thing!

Frylock

This switch makes it go left and right, and this switch is power.

Which lever sort of turns me to the lawyer, [ ] and makes me sue the hell out of you?!

Frylock

All right, easy Carl. Don't make me have to shut the power off.

[terrified] D-d-d-don't do that. Just sorta put it on my chin. I'll frickin' steer it with my tongue. [his tongue is made out of glass and pushes the controller off]

Frylock

That may not work. Let's just get Meatwad to drive ya home. Meatwad!

Master Shake

Get him off me, please!!!

Yes?

Master Shake

I didn't mean it! Everything I say about you, I mean about myself!

Shut up, boy, I make it worse!

Frylock

Not in the house!!

Master Shake

No-no-no-no I need to live!!!

Zone in-target.

Target locked in.

Got him! Fudge you, butthole!

Master Shake

We don't need a toilet. The pile of clothes in the hallway has worked fine for us for years, and it will continue to work.

I don't know whose clothes that is, but, someone ain't wearin' that again, I tell you that.

(translated via computer) Oh man, I swear to fucking God Fry-man. I'm so fucking pissed right now. Oh, and by the way I hope you enjoy eating your own shit, because I'm about to rip your motherfucking throat out, and shove it so far up your ass, that you'll have to fart to fucking breathe, fucker.

Is that an F?... He's droppin' F-bombs over here!

Frylock, I'm friends with a toilet paper tube, an apple, and a box. I'm crazy in the head.

Well, you gonna dis me boy, dis me to my face!

Boxy, please, don't take it like that.

Well how'm I supposed to take it, then?!

We just wanna celebrate my birthday with some cake-

Ah, I don't want no cake, I want me some pie! [with a chuckle] You understand what I'm sayin'?

No sir.

Well let me break it down: You know when you're in the shower with some fine foxy hoochi-Mama, and she got dat-[his voice becomes inaudible to us as the perspective shifts to outside Meatwad's]

[a pause] ...What?!

Frylock

Uh, Meatwad.

[to Boxy Brown] Well, I don't know if I believe that. I mean I seen action figures without the pants, they ain't got that.

Frylock

Uh, Meatwad.

[to Frylock] Shh, he is talkin' here!

Frylock

Oh, well I didn't mean to interrupt, but-

Watch out! He's got a knife!

Master Shake

(to Meatwad) Say it! How many years are you?!

Frylock

(to Meatwad) Just say how old you are, Meatwad.

(pause) ....I don't know.