Aqua Teen Hunger Force · Season 2
“Total Re-Carl” · Season 2
In this episode: Master Shake (6), Frylock (6), Meatwad (5), Carl (5), Schoolly D (1)
Dr Weird (on answering machine): Gentlemen, You have reached Dr. Weird's residence...NOW SPEAK AT THE TONE! (beep).
Voice (on answering machine): Hi, uh, Dr. Wired, Wi-ehrd,Weird..."
Dr Weird (in person): Steve? Send the phone spiders!
Voice (on answering machine): We have a new long distance package featur-- SPIDERS!! AAAAAHHH!
Dr Weird (in person): I guess we're not interested! Muah, haah haah haah, haaah!
We also made you a care package for your little adventure.
Oh boy, fiber tablets. Yum yum.
Yeah, dip them in the stool softener. I mean it's, it's delicious.
[long pause.]
There's espresso there, too, if you-
Leave!
[Thanks to Master Shake, Carl has a dead black man's body]
This is not a time for you to be picky, Carl. That's all you can get when you go to the West End.
[arms start beating up Carl] Get it off, rip it off. What am I doing, oh God!
Oh no! The body's rejecting the head!
Oh, ya think?! Get it off me!
Hold on!
So.. did it work?
Of course it worked!
No it didn't!
Of course it worked not at all. Which is what I was trying to say, before I was so rudely interrupted.
Take this body back, and not through town!
[Frylock has put Carl's head on a robotic body.]
I give you the ultimate in military hardware! Complete with laser cannon, indestructible titanium exoskeleton, and motion activated plasma pulse rifles.
And you're gonna plug him in?!
You're right. Damn, what the hell was I thinking?
Fudge!
That's not an F-bomb.
Fart you!
[Carl's head is mounted on a remote controlled truck and it keeps ramming into Frylock's computer desk.]
Turn it left, turn it left! I keep hittin' the same spot. Look, you're gonna break my friggin' nose!
Sorry Carl, I still haven't gotten used to the...
Just give me the damn thing!
This switch makes it go left and right, and this switch is power.
Which lever sort of turns me to the lawyer, [ ] and makes me sue the hell out of you?!
All right, easy Carl. Don't make me have to shut the power off.
[terrified] D-d-d-don't do that. Just sorta put it on my chin. I'll frickin' steer it with my tongue. [his tongue is made out of glass and pushes the controller off]
That may not work. Let's just get Meatwad to drive ya home. Meatwad!
[Meatwad enters with the robot body that Frylock made earlier holding Shake in his vice grip]
Get him off me, please!!!
Yes?
I didn't mean it! Everything I say about you, I mean about myself!
Shut up, boy, I make it worse!
Not in the house!!
[Outside, Meatwad throws Shake up into the air]
No-no-no-no I need to live!!!
Zone in-target.
Target locked in.
[Meatwad's missiles explode on Shake]
Got him! Fudge you, butthole!
We don't need a toilet. The pile of clothes in the hallway has worked fine for us for years, and it will continue to work.
I don't know whose clothes that is, but, someone ain't wearin' that again, I tell you that.
If I woke up lookin' like that, I would run towards the nearest living thing and kill it.
Carl, did you lose somethin' behind the couch?
Yeah, I did! I lost peace and quiet! What do you need?! What do you want?! Can I not just live here without having to occasionally deal with you animals?!
Well, yeah, it's your house.
That's right it is.
And look what I just added to it!
(Frylock opens Carl's door to reveal his "Super-Toilet" out in the front yard) Oh, nice. A crapper!
(translated via computer) Oh man, I swear to fucking God Fry-man. I'm so fucking pissed right now. Oh, and by the way I hope you enjoy eating your own shit, because I'm about to rip your motherfucking throat out, and shove it so far up your ass, that you'll have to fart to fucking breathe, fucker.
Is that an F?... He's droppin' F-bombs over here!
Man, I ain't tryin' to watch Carl take no criznap, baby.
You call this organic!?
[Inside Frylock’s room we see Carl’s head is now attached to a body made completely out of eyeballs]
Well, you look in the box! All they sent were eyeballs.
I’m not going near that box.
Let’s just see if it works.
Wait a minute. Before you turn him on, do you think he’ll be able to see us?
In ways you can only imagine.
But look, I mean, is he gonna be able to chase us? Because if I woke up lookin’ like that, I would just run towards the nearest living thing and kill it.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Aqua Teen Hunger Force pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
