Master Shake quotes from Aqua Teen Hunger Force

And I'll tell you something else Frylock, I did not see one computer in that whole camp.

Frylock

Yeah, yeah. Say, have you noticed that Indian burial ground that's coming up through our drain again?

Nah, that's Inside-out Boy. He just needs a place to stay for a few days.

Shake

Whoo, I just ate a whole bathtub full of cherry cobbler. It was delicious.

...You're joking, right?

Shake

No, I'm not.

...NOOOOOOOOO!!!

Frylock

Shake? [Yelling Continues] Shake! Turn those damn monster movies down-- [Notices nobody in the living room] Shake?

Master Shake

Who's watching my TV? Because I...

I bought the damn TV!

Frylock

Will you two shut up and listen? [Yelling Continues] It sounds like it's coming from the floor.

Master Shake

[beats the floor with a broomstick] Will you SHUT UP?! You hear me?! It's three o'clock in the morning and I need to sleep! [Frylock knocks him out with chloroform]

Hey, can I have some of that?

Frylock

Just go to sleep and we'll deal with it in the morning.

Yeah sure, I'll just go to sleep and tomorrow morning I'm gonna call me a social worker. [Frylock prepares a dose of chloroform] And tell him I'm in unfit living conditions and the city will be over here so fast tha-- oh. [Knocked out by chloroform]

Master Shake

Do you know what time it is, huh? It's 2:30 in the afternoon, and people are trying to sleep. [Notices the mummy] Whose mummy?

Frylock

I found it in the crawlspace.

Master Shake

So you were the one doing all the moaning when I was trying to sleep, huh?

Master Shake

Shake, you don't wanna piss him off. He has the power to curse you.

Do it, Shake. Piss him off.

Master Shake

I'll do what I want, when I want, and how I want, and no mummy— you hear me, Band-Aid...

Here it comes.

Master Shake

No mummy is gonna tell me what to do.

Curse! Curse!! CURSE!!!

Oh, damn.

Master Shake

You done? We all done...

CURSE!!!

Master Shake

Now are you done?

Yes.

Master Shake

Cause I'm done listening to you. I got a curse for you. It's called, "tomorrow morning, your ass is outta here." I'm going back to bed!

Curse.

Master Shake

I heard it already! I know! It's a friggin' curse!

Frylock

Shake, I think he may have cursed you.

Master Shake

(sarcastically) Oh, je-ya think? Cuz, I mean, he only said it about a thousand times!

Master Shake

Plaque is a figment of the liberal media and the dental industry to scare you into buying useless appliances and pastes. Now, I've read the arguments on both sides, and I haven't found any evidence yet to support the need to brush your teeth. Ever.

I don't know how you'd know; you ain't got no teeth.

Master Shake

Well, I got rid of my teeth at a young age, because...I'm straight. Teeth are for gay people. That's why fairies come and get 'em.

If teeth make me gay then sign me up, 'cause I wish I had 'em.

Shake

Computer, search for teeth and plaque conspiracy (pause), and Metallica.

And Justin Timberlake. [Shake ignores him] Do a search for Justin Timberlake. [Shake continues to ignore him] ... J-U-S--

Shake

Please hush up. The search needs complete silence to work.

Oh shoot, I forgot. I'm sorry.

Master Shake

Well, I'm sorry, but if you can't learn that little lesson, then someone's going to get their little mouth stabbed shut with skewers! And then we'll see how easily the axe slices through the meat!

Master Shake

All right, okay. Maybe that was a little huge. Listen, I would never hit you with an axe...

Master Shake

...when you had skewers stabbed through your mouth.

Master Shake

I would think one or the other would be enough.

All right! Five point nine percent over APR! You don't get that every day!

Master Shake

Are you kidding?! With APR like that I could just die!

Shake

Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize that I was in the Supreme frickin' Court here!

Yeah. Neither did I.

Shake

Should I have my lawyer present for my frickin' trial?!

I'm tired of livin' in this tree, now. How long 'til we gonna go home?

Frylock

Two more weeks.

TWO MORE WEEKS?!

Frylock

Shut up and eat your squirrel meat!

Shake

Squirrel meat, bleh.

Shake

What? I got wireless. Wha---?!? [An ad hits Shake]

Frylock

Look Shake, people usually get a PDA when they have a job, and friends, and a life!

Shake

Look, you, you, you happen to have no idea what I do for a living do you?

Frylock

You're damn right I don't! I saw you boil a hot dog today. Did you get paid for that?!

Shake

Because I don't have access to my scheduling book, because my PDA's gone!

Shake

Wha, oh come on! We're lookin' for my thing, together, we're like buds, it's cool. Hey, you fly. You go, why don't you go check the gutters.

Frylock

But, why would it be up in the gutters, Shake?

Shake

That's where your DVD burner ended up, when it decided not to work.

Frylock

Oh, I damn sure better not find that up there!

Master Shake

Well, that's the last place I remember chucking it.

Frylock

[yelling] Hey! Dammit! You did throw my DVD burner up here!

Oh, I didn't see your knock-offs there, nice. Are you goin' for the ironic look, or the look-I-don't-have-any-money look?

Shake

I don't know, which one would you do?

Oh, man. I cannot wait. I got the oils, the candles, the works! When does that babe get here?

Master Shake

Carl, don't refer to her as a "babe", please. She is a Chechnyan prostitute, and you will address her as such.

Look, just don't cash that check immediately. I wanna make sure that both of us marryin' her is gonna be, you know, legal.

Master Shake

Of course it is! What are you kidding me? Santa Claus ain't legal and he's around.

Well, I guess that makes sense, you know.

Look, would you just hold it with your hands?!

Master Shake

I can do two things at the same time, chubby.

No, ya can't!

Master Shake

[reading a magazine to himself] Huey Lewis making a comeback!

Hey, get back here! I think I need some help here!

Master Shake

Yeah, I know you do.

Get back here!