Go ahead, man. Let's do this thing.
Master ShakeI told you I'd do it, I'm gonna do it now. Hey Meatwad, look at this! [With Shake turned away, Harry pours gasoline over himself] Come to the window! Big time fun... you know what I mean?
Okay dude, I just did all the prep work, now let's get it on! DO IT!
Master Shake
Well.. shoot... I mean I was just going to sort of blow your jaw off with a firecracker or something.. I wasn't gonna.. I think I need to go pray.
[Cut to Meatwad's room]
Yo, that milkshake's got no guts, man.
You know, Happy-Time...Just being around you kinda makes me wanna die...
You’re gonna chuck him off a cliff? Shake, we could have chucked him off the roof and stayed at home.
Master Shake
No, This is a magic cliff here, like in The Highlander. So, you will become The Highlander, and you’ll roam the earth forever, trying to kill yourself, but you wouldn’t be able to, because you’ll be…immortal. Won’t that suck, little man? [laughs]
Well actually, That sounds kinda cool.
Master Shake
Yeah, it does.
Master Shake
NO, YOU’RE NOT! I’m doing it!
Shake, Wait! The Highlander was just a movie. I mean-
Master Shake
Oh Frylock, The Highlander was a documentary, and the events happen in real time.
Master Shake
Oh yeah, Big time.
No man, Look you gotta be born a Highlander, You can’t just…become one.
See, he saw the movie too.
Master Shake
I know, I saw cliffs, Okay. And there’s lots of magic everywhere…And Mel Gibson.
Master Shake
Oh, You think you’re the expert? Let's see how much your ass know about FLYING! [throws Happy-Time off a cliff.] Yeah! that’s what I’m talking about.
You done? Because that took forever...
Master Shake
I am-Well I am foreverrr.....I AM IMMORTAL!!!
Shake, No! [Master Shake jumps off the cliff, his straw clinging to a branch]
Master Shake
Damn branch…Wait! I'm not immortal here, Okay?
Hang on Shake, we'll call for help!
Master Shake
Yeah, Hurry! I think that the branch will hold for... [branch breaks] IT'S NOT HOLDING!!
(Floating in the pool with Meatwad) So, I guess the Highlander comes out of traction today.
Well, I hoped they fixed his eyes. They got messed up pretty bad in that fall.
Well, the doctors gave him some hard plastic replacements, So don't stare at them, Okay? He’s real self conscious about it.
Shake
(comes in on wheelchair with large eyes) Alas, I return.
Master Shake
Where are you?
Dang! What happened to your eyes?! They look weird.
Shake
Oh, shut up! “There can be, only one!” (Lifts up a sword and lightning strikes it, and then he drops it and falls out of the chair and is set on fire).
Master Shake
Look at him and tell me there's a God.
He made me in His own image.
Master Shake
Oh, yeah, God's a big meatball, I forgot. Ah, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Master Shake
Does he stink like you do?
Yeah, hey Oglethorpe, do you remember this guy [Shake]?
Yes, and how he scoffed at our magazines!
So, uh, what were we gonna do with him?
OOgletorpe
...We shall use him for the armies ... of the night!
But I thought the guy down there was going to build an army ... of the night.
Different army dorkface! This army will take over the rest of the galaxy! You see how my mind works? It's like a laser!
Shake
You know, I know you from somewere.
He must not know who we are. Quick, paint the Mind Room!
Uh, I'm still not done with the trim on that.
Oh, you're ki — Meatwad, it's not polite to stare.
Major Shake
No, it's okay, I know. I'm totally, hideous.
No i-it's cool, I was just wondering if that jambox worked, you know. Shake threw mine in a cobra cage, and dared me to go get it, and that's why I'm all puffy back here.
Oh, well son of a … imprison him within the rings!
[Disco light rings come down around Shake.]
You'll never move from that spot again, unless you like being cut in half!
[The phone rings. Shake reaches through the rings to answer it.]
Master Shake
Yelloo?
Master Shake
Look, brother, these ain't nothin but disco lights.
No, the installer said that they were imprison laser rings, and I, I believed him.
Don't listen to him, for he is a witch!
Look, look, settle down, can you just maybe try and replicate some other people, and get an army going and then take over the entire planet.
Major Shake
Well I don't know, I don't think I can replicate others, was that your plan?
Well, one of them. We have many plans.
Major Shake
Well maybe your next plan should be to tell me what the plan is.
Look, settle down. It's all cool.
Major Shake
No. No. Look at me dude. I'm a leaky, disgusting, abomination and I'm not going to do it anymore.
Shake
Meatwad, get in this bag!
Shake
What? I got airholes... it's a joke, it'a joke, ha ha, don't get in that bag, you little meat.
[cut to Shake and Meatwad in an alley]
Shake
Now you stay in that bag!
So is this where the camp is?
Shake
Yes, now gimme a hug. But, keep the bag on, okay?
Shake
Shut up! The counselor is about the counsel you, and he will send you right back home if you talk and you'll never learn RAM!
Hey, where's Meat Mountain there?
Oh no, they were callin' 'im Meat Mountain last night.
Shake
Okay, I'm gonna go.
You're not going anywhere Shake.
Yeah, ya gotta come check this out man. Igloo, hot dog, igloo, that bit. But the whole time the stripper's shakin' it in front of 'im.
My goodness! Where was this?!
The warehouse in front of Girls For You, you know, the lingerie modeling place.
Uh, no, I don't know Carl.
Well-ell, twenty bucks, twenty minutes. I'm tellin' ya, one Friday night, you and me Fry-man, blow the lid off the joint! Yeah-heh!
You sold Meatwad to the circus, didn't you?!
Shake
Every day I buy and sell people like you! But no, I did not do that. But based on what I'm hearing here, someone may have.
Shake
Two.
Shake
Two dollars. What? What's wrong with that?
[cut to Shake, Frylock, and Carl at the circus, where Shake sees the price of admission]
Shake
Two dollars and fifty cents! Are they out of their minds?!
[Shake comes disguised As Meatwad]
Shake
Hey, look at me! I'm stupid as hell, I can't even breathe properly, let alone read! What's that?
And now.. the Amazing Arctic Igloo!
Shake
What?!
Yeah, turn into that Igloo!
Yeah..so..where is that, Milkshake?
Shake
Well I uh.. (takes off his costume and shows it's really him in disguise with hair under his eyes) Look it's the Amazing Milkshake with the Bearded Eyes!!
Aqua Teen Hunger Force · 785 quotes
