Master Shake quotes from Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Frylock

Uh, Shake...

Shake

What do you want?

Frylock

Carl is here...

Shake

How did you get this--I'm not here!

Oh, you're not there?

Shake

Hello, Carl.

Hey, buddy, how ya doin' there? Pizza Land, huh? That's lots of fun. Hey, uh, I wanted to let you know that YOU BURNED MY FRICKIN' HOUSE DOWN!!!!!!!!!!

Shake

But the grass is gone---

Oh yea the grass is gone, just like how your face is gonna be gone after I SHOVE IT IN A PASTRAMI SLICER!!!

Oglethorpe

Oh, look over there! One hundred dollars! On the wing of the ship!

Shake

[Shoves Oglethorpe out of the way] Oh, that's mine! I dropped it! Now where is it again?

Oglethorpe

Right there. Do you see it? It's there.

Shake

Why, this could be very dangerous. I...I should go.

Oglethorpe

Oh, would you? Please save us...from all the money.

Shake

Shake to ship! I'm still not seeing it!

Oglethorpe

Oh, you can't see it? Well, let me turn on the light for you!

Shake

Wait! Jackass!

Hey, buddy!

Shake

Hey, Carl! Hey! Lawn looks great!

Likin' it?

Shake

Why's your house all curled up?

I don't know, I was hoping maybe we could have a little dialogue about that.

Shake

Hey, that's a nice tire iron, Carl. Is that yours?

Yeah, let me get in there and show you the finish on it. Up close.

Taste the chrome!

Frylock

You ever hear of a refrigerator, or a frickin' trash can?!

Master Shake

No.

Frylock

You got three raw chickens in here on the floor! A dog wouldn't even take a crap in here!

Master Shake

Look, just take the hose and lightly spray everything out the back door.

Frylock

No, no MY ASS, YOU WILL!

Master Shake

Drape a tarp over it.

Frylock

Oh no you're not! You're gonna go to the damn store and get some cleaning supplies!

What's goin' on?

Master Shake

Look at this mess! Did you do this? [long pause] Fine, alright!. I'll do it, but it's my decision to do this, I declare it.

Master Shake

(angrily enters the house) Where's Meatwad?!

Frylock

What're you doing with that gutter?

Master Shake

What're you doin' with that beard, huh? Answer that, scientist!

Master Shake

My telescope! And you've ruined it! How will I ever see the stars again?

This ain't no telescope, it's Dewey. He's an engineer, and he works on the Supertrain.

Master Shake

He does what?! You've got mental problems. [Hits Meatwad repeatedly with gutter] Taste the chrome!

[walking in with the "doll"] What's it taste like?

Master Shake

Your mother's... [sees Ol' Drippy for the first time] AAAHHHH, MONSTER!!!

Frylock

Shake, what is wrong with you?

Master Shake

What's wrong with you? Hey, why don't you go kiss your new best friend, you love him so damn much! I'm the one who cleaned the kitchen. I'm the authority!

[at the door] Someone wanna tell me why my pool is full of hotdog chunks and dirty dishes?

Master Shake

Oh Carl, you didn't mess with it did ya? Cause it's gotta set up for a couple days with the battery.

The battery?

Master Shake

Yeah, you know, the one from your car. I dumped some shampoo in there too, but it's dog shampoo so I dunno if it's gonna work, but were prayin' like hell that it does.

No, no, no, I understand, I understand. I'm just gonna go, I'll be back in a few. You uh, you think that the gun store is still open?

Carl, please, I'll take care of the mess. He means well, he's just a little... well, I'd better not say.

Master Shake

What? I'm a little what?

Thank you, Drippy. You are very well-mannered and very nice. [To Master Shake] And you oughta take lessons from him!

Frylock

[agreeing with Carl] That's right!

[agreeing with both Frylock and Carl] Yeah, Shake. That's right!

Well, get out of here! What are you waiting on? I’m gonna chase you outta here!

Shake

[Making a post-and-lintel structure out of sofa cushions] That’s good. Okay, that’s all right. That looks good. Hey, who says I couldn’t do this, huh?[Lightning strikes the sofa cushions apart] AAAAHHH! Let me in! Will you let me in, dammit! I mean, guys! Hey-hey! Somebody wanna let me in, please?[Frylock goes to open the door for Shake]

Frylock

Well, Shake! I thought you moved.

Shake

What?! I never said that! Who said that!?(He starts coughing)

Oh my. You’re burning up.

Shake

Yes, I’m very... sick.(He coughs some more)

Frylock, he needs medical help.

Frylock

He needs an ass-whooping is what he needs.

There’s no time! Here Shake, eat my head!

Shake

Here! Kiss my ass! Forget about it!!

I’m serious. Coat me with ranch. Chase me with cheese if you must, I don’t care. It’s the only way.

Frylock

Drippy, don’t! What are you doing?

Don’t do that, that’s going to hurt you!

I’m saving his life! I’m half penicillin!

Frylock

Well, I have some penicillin in my lab if that’s what this is all about.

Oh, really? Well then, just give him some of that man, I mean-

Shake

No, wait. Now, hold on a minute, I- I kind of like the taste of your head. I mean, you said it was the only way, right?(coughs again)

Where are you going, Drippy? I- I love you!

I'm going away for a while, Meatwad. And I may never come back. But I'll always be here, inside.

Shake

Yeah, in my stomach, baby.

Close your eyes, Meatwad. [Shake takes a big bite out of Ol' Drippy] AAH!

Shake

Leave your eyes open, Meatwad. I wanna horrify you into a coma.

Shake

Look...he pushed me.

He pushed you out of the way of that truck.

Shake

Listen...he's in a better place.

Frylock

He's in the grill of the truck!

He was my best friend.

Shake

Ah, well then you should know something. When he was pushing me...he mentioned something about not liking you.

Frylock

Ah, man.

Shake

I clearly heard it.

Did he really?

Shake

That stuck out.

Well...I guess I'll have one of those wings then. Gimme one.

Shake

[Throws a wing towards Meatwad] Here, fetch.

Where's the meat?! This is a bone!

Shake

Go make a doll out of that!

How am I ever gonna win that ten speed?

Master Shake

How are you ever gonna ride a ten speed with no frickin' legs?! You're just gonna bust the ass that you don't even have! Who bothered to spawn you...and why?!

Hey, which one of you guys has been playin' "I Like Candy", for a frickin' week?!?!

Frylock

It was your other neighbor.

Shake

Meatwad.

You know what? At this point, it doesn't matter, 'cause it keeps runnin' inside my head and it won't leave unless I blow it out, with a bullet!

Master Shake

[notices Carl's mouth is full] What you eating there, Carl? (walks over to him) You gonna show me some love?

Jawbreakers. For some reason, I can't get enough of 'em.

Master Shake

Is that why your teeth are blue?

Uh... no.

Master Shake

Oh. Uh... So, why are you...

Shut up. [brief silence, then begins singing] I like candy, bubblegum and ta--DAMN IT!!

Frylock

You know Meatwad and Carl have been hanging out quite a bit lately.

Shake

What, you want 'em to stop? (yelling out the front door) Rape, rape, oh rape!

Frylock

No, no, no, it's fine, it's fine, but don't think it's a little bit weird that they started washing the car at midnight...and they're still doing it?

Shake

Look, people do things, it's a fact.

Frylock

Shake, did you hear this lyric? About drilling a hole straight to hell, and releasing demons to create a global diet pill pyramid scheme?!

Master Shake

Eh, I don't know. All that rap is is clicks and whistles.

Shake

I should not walk so a child may live. [pause] That's what it does.

Frylock

Get up!

Shake

[After running over Meatwad's toys with a lawnmower] Hey, your astronauts better watch where they land their ship next time, 'cause they might get overrun by the alien life form, hahaha!

They don't use ships, they use rocket boots.

Shake

They don't use nothin' now, do they?