Slappy quotes from Animaniacs

Slappy

Get some sleep, you need to be well rested for tomorrow.

Skippy

Why, what're we doing tomorrow, Aunt Slappy?

Slappy

Napping all day if I have anything to say about it.

Slappy

["The Who" is playing on Stage] Skippy, what's the name of the Band, playing on Stage?

Skippy

Who.

Slappy

The name of the Band.

Skippy

Who.

Slappy

The Band, playing on Stage.

Skippy

WHO!

Slappy

THE BAND!

Skippy

No Aunt Slappy, "The Band" performs later, "WHO" is on Stage!

Slappy

You tell me.

Skippy

Who.

Slappy

The name of the Band.

Skippy

Who.

Slappy

The Band playing on Stage.

Skippy

Who.

Slappy

THAT's WHAT I WANNA KNOW!

Slappy

Ooh, candy corn!

Skippy

Spew!

Slappy

Hey, they're better than the corns on my feet!

Skippy

Spew and a half!

And now, Dot Warner, Slappy Squirrel and Hello Nurse in the famous witches scene from William Shakespeare's "Macbeth", interpreted by Yakko for those viewers who, like Dot, Slappy and Hello Nurse, have no idea what they're saying.

[they stop stirring their cauldron for a moment with a glare. Then they resume] Double, double, toil and trouble. Fire burn and cauldron bubble!

Loosely translated, that means "Aabra cadabara."

Dot

Fillet of a fenny snake, in the cauldron boil and bake!

"Let's cook a snake!" Start with my agent.

Dot

Eye of newt [Wakko drops hunting dog Newt] and toe of frog, [Wakko drops Michigan J. Frog] Wool of bat [Wakko drops Batman] and tongue of dog.

Sounds like camp food to me.

Dot

For a charm of powerful trouble, like a hellbroth boil and bubble.

[yawns] "Stir until bored." Serves twelve, unless you're Rush Limbaugh; then it's an appetizer.

Double, double, toil and trouble. Fire burn and cauldron bubble!

"Bippety boppety boo!" Here's another fun recipe:

Slappy

Scale of dragon, tooth of wolf. Witch's mummy, maw and gulf.

Those are the ingredients of a hot dog!

Slappy

Of the ravened salt-sea shark. [Wakko drops a shark] Root of hemlock...

Goooo, Hemlock!

Slappy

...dig'd in the dark.

[singing] Dig'd in the dark is a gas. Baby, can ya dig it?

Double, double, toil and trouble. Fire burn and cauldron bubble!

"Hocus pocus." When do we eat? [flames shoot from the cauldron, then he jumps out of the interpreter's circle] Hey, what'd we come up with? Hash?

Dot

Corndog?

Slappy

Fondue?

Dot

By the pricking of my thumbs, something scary this way comes!

[singing] Oh, lady! I know a lady with high-heeled shoes and socks and panty hose! Oh, pretty lady!

[last line] Uhhhh, let's send out for pizza.

Alright, Miss Squirrel, just relax and watch the monitor, I'm going to show you scenes from Alan Alda movies, you'll be out in no time.

Slappy

Couldn't you just hit me on the head with a hammer?

[chuckles] Now, now. You watch Mr. Alda while I go wash up.

Skippy

So you're skipping your plastic surgery, Aunt Slappy?

Slappy

Eh, I'll keep my wrinkles. I earned every one of em.

Skippy

But what about your comeback?

Slappy

Forget it. If I have to change my appearance, it's not worth doin'. Skippy, I've learned that looks aren't everything. It's the beauty in your heart that's really important.

Skippy

Gee, aunt slappy, you sound like an afterschool special.

Slappy

You're right, I take it all back.

Slappy

Hold it! Stop the music there! [the music stops] What's with the sappy music and the dancing? I don't do pathos and I can't dance, don't ask me. [to Charlton Woodchuck] Wait a minute. You look familiar. Unappealing, but familiar.

Skippy

Aunt Slappy, that's the director, Charlton Woodchuck.

Slappy

BAYNARTS! [slaps him on the back] What're you doin' here, you ol' son of a hack?

It's "Charlton". It's written in my contract that when I was old enough, I would get to direct.

Slappy

Yeah, Skippy has the same deal.

Skippy

[dressed like Steven Spielberg] Love you, babe, but we're losing our light.

Slappy

[taps the script] What's with six minutes of opening a walnut?

Don't you see? It's a parable about man against nature. The nut represents the struggle to achieve our goals.

Slappy

[tears up the script] There! My goal is achieved!

[sighs] Let me put it this way, Sloppy.

Slappy

It's "Slappy", Baynarts!

That's "Charlton". Either you do this script, or you don't get paid.

Slappy

Hit it, maestro!

Slappy

Hey, von Stroheim! There's no nut inside this shell!

Yes, exactly, it's the emptiness of our existence! That's symbolism, that's metaphor!

Slappy

Yeah, but that's not comedy! [stuffs Charlton into the nutshell] Now there's a nut inside!

Skippy

Now that's comedy!

Slappy

You're adorable, but that's my line!

Wakko

[sing-song voice] Uh oh! I feel a bubble coming on!

Slappy

Go away!

Slappy

[dazed while seeing three Skippys] Well, if it isn't Huey, Dewey and Louie. I haven't seen you guys since Daisy Duck's bat mitzvah. [thud]

Skippy

[to the camera] Guess Aunt Slappy needs a little lie-down.

Slappy

[wearing a coach's hat] I'd like to say how very happy I am to be here. I'd also like to be stuck on a deserted island with Morey Amsterdam. But I'm not. I didn't ask for this job, and in fact, i'm missin' a Ricki Lake episode, I'm talkin' sacrifice here! Actually, I'm doin' it for my nephew Skippy.

Skippy

[hugs Slappy] You're the greatest, Aunt Slappy!

Slappy

Coachin' does have it's small rewards.

Skippy

You're not gonna sing, are you?

Slappy

For the sake of the show, no!

Skippy

Phew. What a relief.

Slappy

Hey, hey! Like you're Pavarotti? I'm outta here there.

Dot

But Grandmama Maple, what about my problem?!

Slappy

You figure it out. Nothin' I'd say in this picture makes any sense anywhay. [leaves with Skippy]

[arrives] Um, excuse me. [Dot turns around, does a wild take and bounce around the tree before landing flat on the stump] I'm sorry. Did I frighten you?

Dot

No, just overreacting.

[holds out his hand] I'm John Smith.

Dot

Oh, I bet you tell that to all the hotel clerks. [pointing at John Smith's hand] What's that all about?

A handshake is how we say, "Hello".

Dot

[smiling suggestively at him] Would you like to see how we do it?

Goodnight, everybody!

Why, yes.

Dot

Hellooooooooo, Mel! [kisses him]

[wiping his mouth] Yuck! [sees Dot literally painting the forest and flowers] What are you doing?

Dot

Painting the colors of the passing wind.

Wakko

[pops out of the bushes] Did you say "passing wind"?

Dot

[shakes Wakko] PLEASE! PLEASE, I BEG YOU! LET US NOT GO THERE!

Wakko

Okay.

Hello, Nurse!

Uh...

Dot

I am NOT Trying to be annoying.

[in Spanish accents] AI!

Duh!

[in Spanish accents]

Oy, Macadamia!

Narf!

[in Spanish accents]

Dot

[in her Spanish accent] Otra vez on y vas the repetitive refrainia...

Oy, Macadamia!

Yes!

Dot

Don't hate me because I'm cute!

Ow!

Skippy

Spew!

Bacawk!

Slappy

[spoken] I don't get it. What's the joke?

Uh...

Uh...

Louisa Francesa Banana Fana Bo Besca.

Skippy

This has been the worst day ever in the whole wide world.

Slappy

You mean Mel Brooks made a sequel to Robin Hood: Men in Tights?

Skippy

[still tired] Aunt Slappy, the lights are back on.

Skippy

[now awake] This has turned into a comedy routine, without the comedy. [climbs through the window] For the love of Peter Potamous! It finally happened! Some no-good development demolished our forest and put buildings all over it!

Skippy

That's awful!

Slappy

I'll put a stop to this.