Adventure Time · Season 1
I never knew being fat and lazy was so rewarding!
Yeah! Your gut's so huge and mouldable.
Hey!
Hold on a sec!
Hahahaha! Man, that tickles!
[moulded to IK] "I'm the Ice King! And I'll never find a bride because I'm such a tool."
[laughs] Alright, let me try. [moulds his gut to PB] "I'm Princess Bubblegum, and I'm a dork because I like science! I've also got a really annoying voice that Finn thinks is ATTRACTIVE!!"
Ha ha! That's a... Wait, what'd you say?
Hey... did you know that you both have an awesome sense of humor?
We do?
Yeah! Anyone have a joke?
Oh, I have a joke! Okay, okay. Knock knock!
Nuguseyo? (Who's there?)
She said, "who's there?"
Diarrhea!
Jyaega seolsalae. (He said, "Diarrhea.")
Eo, nado deul-eoss-eo. Mwoya, hanado jaemieobsjanh-a. (Yeah, I know. I don't think it was kinda that funny.) [sips goblet]
Did she say "Diarrhea who?"
Uh... no. No, she didn't say "Diarrhea who". She didn't. ...Say it.
Hey Grandpa, how're you able to fly if you don't have wings?
[old man voice] "Well, light travels from the sun, then bounces off of our planet, and back into our eyes so we can perceive color."
Whoa!
"My body can intercept that light, and dance around on it."
Baby, it's a little rocky in the back seat here!
[laughs] Shmow! That forest wizard is giving away free power rings!
"Do you wanna try gettin' some, Finn?"
YEAHS!!
A long time ago, when I was a baby, I went boom boom on a leaf. (boom boom!) Then I fell backwards (SPLAT!) and sat in my own boom boom. I cried for a day... but no one came to help me. That day I vowed to help anyone in need, no matter how small their problem! And that's why I need to go. [leaves]
[the marauders all clap and cheer]
He still cries when he poops. Thanks for being cool, guys.
Can you guys stop being so rough?
WHAT?
WHAT?
What? [bang!]
Whoa-whoa-whoa! What are you talking about, Finn?
Could you... just tone down the roughhousing a-a little?
What? [bang!]
Whoa-whoa-whoa-shh! It's alright, fellas. Finn, I'm sure this "tone down the roughhousing" thing has something to do with your boom boom, and I can respect that. BUT HOW CAN WE POSSIBLY MAKE ROUGHHOUSING LESS ROUGH!!?
WOO-HOO!! Nice job! Thanks to us, the village is saved. And we reclaimed a few of your twilight years.
Don't forget to thank me — for this was my plan for all of these 847 years.
No way! Your plan was to dupe a succession of rubes into keeping the asteroid at bay!
Perhaps you're right. No more giving out free powers. I hereby renounce all magic.
[Bufo starts sobbing on the ground, wailing]
MY LIFE IS OVEEEEEEEEER!!!!!
Chill, man! You don't have to quit your job.
I don't?
Nah. Just don't take credit for ideas that aren't yours.
Oh... okay... Good idea. [To himself, as Finn and Jake leave] Glad I thought of it.
Hey kid... you want some magic powers? Magic powers for absolutely free?
Heck yeah!
Wait! Let's not be too rash! Just look at this guy! Check out the sunken lifeless eyes, the foul stench of decay! You know what that means?
..Means he's evil, I guess.
Well evil, sure—but mostly, he's unattractive. And unattractive people are desperate.
So Finn and Jake
Set out to find a new home
It's gonna be tough
For a kid and a dog on their own.
Here's a little house
Aw, Finn's stickin' his foot in
Well, that's a bad idea, dude
Cuz now that bird thinks you're a jerk, Finn!
And now they're chillin' on the side of a hill
And thinkin' livin' in a cloud would be totally thrillin',
Unless they find something inside
Like a mean cloud man and his beautiful cloud bride.
A beehive, oh nooo~!
Don't put your foot in there, guy!
Y'all tried that before,
And you know it didn't turn out right!
Big shell, go inside,
Look around, it seems all right
A frog comes out and barfs a tiger,
Throwin' down potions for food and fi-ahire~!
You know you should've stayed
And fought that sexy vampire lady,
But Jake was feelin' terrified
He was super-scared of her vampire bite,
Which is understandable
As vampires are really powerful.
They're unreasonable
And burnt out on dealing with mortals.
Ooh, Marceline
Why are you so mean?'
I'm not mean, I'm 1000 years old
And I just lost track of my moral code.
Oh, Marceline
Can't you see these guys are in pain?
No, I can't.
I'm invested in this really cute video game.
So there go our boys
Walkin' on the icy ground,
Headin' towards their destiny
I'm sure they'll figure something out.
Hey, check it out!
Whoa!
Looks like a giant dead turtle.
I think it's some kinda city of—
[pops out of tree] THIEVES!! It's the City of Thieves! [points at Finn] Be warned, boy!! All who enter the city are destined to become thieves themselves! [cackles] Even you!
I wouldn't become a thief, lady! I'm a pretty good guy.
Yeah, get your glasses on, grandma. This kid is pure. In fact, he's about to help that little crying kid. [show a girl crying]
Oh, whoa! [he and Jake run off]
Be warned!!
Enough, lady! [walks to girl] Hey, little girl, are you okay?
[falls back] Please, don't steal anything from me!
Whoa! We wouldn't do that. We're heroes.
We wanna turn your frown... [twists the face he made on his stomach] all the way around.
Aah! [starts crying again]
[nudges him] Jake!!
I'll face the other way, but I'm gonna keep doing this.
So, what's wrong?
Oh, it was terrible. I was trying to sell my flowers out here in the desert when these two thieves came and stole my whole basket, then ran into the city.
The city?
[pops up again] OF THIEVES!!
Oh, boy...
Heed my warning, boy! Enter the city, and you'll come out a thief!
Never! [carries girl on his shoulders] I'll get this girl's flowers back.
My name's Penny.
I'll get Penny's flowers back and come out of that city as pure as the driven snow. Let's go, Jake!
Yeah! We're gonna purify that city!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Adventure Time pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
