Finn the Human quotes from Adventure Time

Hey kid... you want some magic powers? Magic powers for absolutely free?

Finn

Heck yeah!

Jake

Wait! Let's not be too rash! Just look at this guy! Check out the sunken lifeless eyes, the foul stench of decay! You know what that means?

Finn

..Means he's evil, I guess.

Jake

Well evil, sure—but mostly, he's unattractive. And unattractive people are desperate.

Jake

Hey, check it out!

Finn

Whoa!

Jake

Looks like a giant dead turtle.

Finn

I think it's some kinda city of—

[pops out of tree] THIEVES!! It's the City of Thieves! [points at Finn] Be warned, boy!! All who enter the city are destined to become thieves themselves! [cackles] Even you!

Finn

I wouldn't become a thief, lady! I'm a pretty good guy.

Jake

Yeah, get your glasses on, grandma. This kid is pure. In fact, he's about to help that little crying kid. [show a girl crying]

Finn

Oh, whoa! [he and Jake run off]

Be warned!!

Finn

Enough, lady! [walks to girl] Hey, little girl, are you okay?

[falls back] Please, don't steal anything from me!

Finn

Whoa! We wouldn't do that. We're heroes.

Jake

We wanna turn your frown... [twists the face he made on his stomach] all the way around.

Aah! [starts crying again]

Finn

[nudges him] Jake!!

Jake

I'll face the other way, but I'm gonna keep doing this.

Finn

So, what's wrong?

Oh, it was terrible. I was trying to sell my flowers out here in the desert when these two thieves came and stole my whole basket, then ran into the city.

Finn

The city?

[pops up again] OF THIEVES!!

Jake

Oh, boy...

Heed my warning, boy! Enter the city, and you'll come out a thief!

Finn

Never! [carries girl on his shoulders] I'll get this girl's flowers back.

My name's Penny.

Finn

I'll get Penny's flowers back and come out of that city as pure as the driven snow. Let's go, Jake!

Jake

Yeah! We're gonna purify that city!

Finn

How are we supposed to get that basket back if it keeps being stolen?! Ugh!!

Jake

Hey! We can steal a new one from that guy! [points to a 'Baskets & Boots' seller with its owner snoozing] He's got lots of flower baskets... and boots! I'd like to steal me one of them pairs of boots, especially.

Finn

No, Jake. We can't steal. We have to stay pure!

Jake

[grumbles] O-kay...

I have an idea. My mom used to tell me that there's a king of thieves who lives in the center of the city, and everything that gets stolen from little girls ends up at his tower. Maybe we'd find my basket in his treasure chest!

Finn

That's a great idea, Penny!

There's one thing, though. The tower that he lives in is surrounded by a magical barrier which magically keeps thieves out.

Finn

Have you forgotten?! We three ain't thieves! We're PURE!! Right, Jake? Jake?

Jake

[tiptoes to seller] Just gotta steal these boots...

Finn

JAKE!!

Jake

Huh?

Hey! [swats Jake] Go away!!

Finn

What are you doing, man?!

Jake

It's the city! It's getting to me! Help me, Finn!!

Finn

Jake! I never should've doubted you!

Jake

Well, I'm glad you learned your lesson – that in a crunch, there's nothin I wouldn't do for ya.

Finn

Ahhh, so is that how you got your powers back? ["ting"] You apologized to the witch?

Jake

Uum... [sweats profusely] No way! I um.. must have found the right... mud puddle! Yeah... I don't remember. Heh... Rrrrr...

Finn

Aww! Butter pranked! I can't BELIEVE I didn't see that coming!

Jake

Yeah, I'm a genius.

Finn

YOU have offended my honor, sir. And in so doing, you have awoken the pranking demon that sleeps in my pits! The demon is coming for you, mortal. It is going to prank you so.. HAAAARD!!!

Finn

Did y'all smack me into that mountain on purpose?

Yeeaah!

Finn

Take note, NEPTR. These guys are Grade A Pranksters. You guys hang out, in case we need a daring escape!

Yeah, sure!

Daring escape!

Sure Finn!

Absolutely, we got your back! [Finn enters IK's cave]

I got his wallet!

Finn

Get me out of the water! Now, Jake, now!

Jake

Finn! Stop it, Finn! OWWW!!

Finn

But I must conquer this NOW! YAAA! I'M NOT AFRAID OF YOU!!

Finn

[As one tiny drop of water flies onto Finn, slow motion] YAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! I'm afraid of you! I'm afraid of you! Aaaaaah!

Finn

[Drags himself to Jake's feet, with a very wrinkled face] Okay, yeah... Let's try tomorrow...

Jake

Finn? Finn. Finn, wake up, buddy.

Finn

Mornin', Jake!

Jake

Ready for me to help you get over your ocean fear?

Finn

Yeah, man!

Jake

Cool, but I'm only going to do this if you ask me.

Finn

I'm asking.

Jake

Then get ready for my three-step plan. Watch your troubles melt away with step one!

Finn

AAAAAAAAHHHH! Jake, are you crazy?! This is NOT an okay thing to do!!! (Finn hyperventilates)

Jake

Relax, dude. The ocean is your friend. And you got friends all around you right now. Miles and miles of friends...

Finn

YOU'RE NUTS!

Jake

Don't try to struggle, man. I'll let you out in a second. You just have to calm down.

Finn

Really? Okay... I'm calming down.

Jake

You're doing great! Ready for step two?

Finn

(nervously) Yeah, man, I can do it.

Jake

All right, dude. Step...TWO!

Finn

Jake! This ISN'T a joke!! IT'S TOUCHING ME!!!

Jake

Let it hold you, man! Let it hold you like a child!

Finn

(wearing a distressed face) I'm TRYING to let it hold me! (razzes fearfully)

Jake

Control your breathing!

Finn

THIS ISN'T WORKING!

Jake

That means we've gotta move on to step three! Just don't scream!

Finn

Huh?!?

Jake

I'm gonna push you underwater with my jowls! Just don't scream! Don't scream!

Finn

Jake! Jake, wake up!

Finn

You okay, dude?

Jake

Yeah, man. Wait. Finn! You did it - you conquered your fear!

Finn

Huh?

Jake

Maybe we should celebrate on land.

Ice King

No more... st-stealing princesses? Wow...

WHAT!!?

Ice King

I didn't realise I'd have to.. give up... stealing the ladies.

Jake

But you said you were fine with it!

Ice King

I know what I said! But you know, sometimes you say things and then you don't really mean them?

Jake

WHA— Are you serious!?

Finn

Thanks for being cool and all, but what do ya know about this Magic Man? How do we catch him?

Ohh, he can't be caught. He's got magic. And we're worthless freaks, we can't ever beat him! So we've gathered here to wallow in our self-pity.

Finn

Wait, so, what was the lesson we just learned?

Jake

Maybe it was, don't give your sugar to jerks?

Finn

Speaking of jerks—what the blubins, man!? Why wouldn't you help me turn back into a boy?

Jake

Well, because I always kind of wanted to... [mumbles]

Finn

What!?

Jake

I said, I always kind of wanted to be a foot myself.

Finn

You could be a foot right now! I saw you change into a foot twice yesterday!

Jake

It's complicated, man. You'll understand when you're older.

Finn

Steady, Finn. This place is probably more creeped out of you than you are of it. [flips down] Hup!

Halt!!

Finn

Hm?

Come no further, adventurer! For you see, none can defeat... the Bucket Knight!

Finn

[encounters him in small scale] Okay. Then I won't fight ya.

No! You must challenge me to—

Finn

Hey, cutie, do you know how to get to the Crystal Eye from here?

Yes, it's through that door over there, but—

Finn

[walks past him] Thanks!

Hey!! [Finn laughingly runs to the door] You can't pass through that door without battling me!

Finn

Yes, I can! Because I'm HUGE compared to you!

Just add water and... [drenches himself and grows larger] EXPONENTIAL GROWTH!!

Finn

Aw, buckets!

Now... activate thine own powers, and we shall engage in thrilling single combat!!

Finn

Heh... thing is... I don't really have any powers.

I see... [chases Finn screaming]

Finn

Dang it! Jake wouldn't be running! He'd grow all big! And sock you right in the nose hole!!

Hey, it's OK! I'm your Guardian Angel, Finn. I'm here to save you...

Finn

R- Really?

Mhm... Come here! Let the Angel pick you up.

Finn

O- Ok... (The angel pick him and flies) (Laughs) This is radical!

Are you comfortable? Would you like some snacks?

Finn

I'm fine... Thank you!

Here... Let me clean you up and mend your clothes.

Finn

HAHAHAHAHA!

I'm taking you to the chamber of the Crystal Eye...

Finn

Aw, yeah!

...where I'm going to cook you and eat your flesh.

Finn

Wow... Wai— what?!

Trust in your [face turns skeletal and horrific] GUARDIAN ANGEL!!!

Finn

Put me down, lady!!

As you wish. [throws him into a soup-filled cage full of vegetables and bones]

Finn

WAAH!! Unh! Aw, man... Everyone wants to eat me up. It's probably cos I'm so sweet.

Now... for little-kid soup... the secret is a low flame over a long period.

Finn

That's Jake's secret, too. Sure hopes he saves me.

I will save thee, Finn. [flies away]

Finn

LADY, YOU ARE SICK!!

Finn

There's something to tell you about that bottle that hit you in the face.

I already know, Finn! The Duke of Nuts has ALWAYS been a bad guy! But now that he's done this, I'LL NEVER FORGIVE HIM!!! And it's not just because that I HATE the Duke! I'd never forgive ANYBODY who did THIS to me! I'd hate them!

Finn

Yeah, but—

FOREVER!!!!

Finn

Forever..!??

Finally, i have a WITNESS to his misdeeds!

Jake

Two Witnesses!

Finn

Jake!

Oh, Finn, my flawless, lawless champion! Bring the Duke of Nuts to justice, the justice... [Her face turns deranged] OF A COLD DUNGEON! [Finn runs back to Jake] MUAAAAAHAHAHAAHHAAH!! [Her bodysuit starts leaking even more] HAAAAAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!!! HA!! HA!! HA!! HEEEEEEE!!!