[Dick goes to a Halloween party as a pirate]
PPartygoer
Ahoy, matey. Where are your buccaneers?
Under my buckin' hat.
S3Scaredy Dick
[Dick goes to a Halloween party as a pirate seeing mary talking to another partygoer] Yaaaarrrr look who thinks he's scary,well I be not a feared of ye,ya bag of bones,now unhand me former wench,
Doctor Howard!! (looks around akwardly)......shiver me timbers.......
DHDoctor Howard [dressed as a skeleton]
Where are your buccaneers?
Under my buckin' hat!?
S3Moby Dick
Why should I be concerned about gaining weight? My body is just the vehicle that carries my brain around - and my brain deserves a smooth, luxurious ride.
[Dick is putting on a corset to become thinner]
What's that?
It's called the 'Shatner.'
[Sally is talking to her plant]
You hungry? Oh, I know you--you wouldn't say anything if you were.
[she pours some of her Coke into the pot]
You're so nice. You're not at all arrogant or demanding like most people I know.
You must be bored out of your mind.
Actually, I'm not.
I was talking to the plant.
[Harry, with a camera, sneaks up behind August in school to get a photo of her]
August (noticing Harry): Harry?
I am not Harry.
What are you doing here? And what's with the camera?
What camera?
My pants fit! I won the war!
That's great, Dick! So you lost weight?
Even better - I bought bigger pants!
S3Eleven Angry Men and One Dick
Maybe you'll all change your tune when you hear about something called... 'reasonable doubt.'
J1Juror #1
What's the point?
The point is it's reasonable to assume Foster used the money to pay for his daughter's life-threatening operation.
J2Juror #2
No, it isn't.
J3Juror #3
He doesn't have a daughter.
J1Juror #1
It's not reasonable doubt if you just make things up!
[Jury selection]
PLProsecuting lawyer
Do you believe everything you read in the newspaper?
Yes! No! I don't know what I believe anymore! You tell me what to believe and I'll do it!
PLProsecuting lawyer
He's fine with me.
DLDefense lawyer
Me, too.
S3A Friend in Dick
I'm not finger-pointing... [points at Mary]...but it's YOUR fault! YOU!
S3Seven Deadly Clips
This ice cream is delicious.
[looking at the box] Actually, it's ‘sinfully delicious.' I would gladly go to Hell for a pint of this.
S3Tom, Dick and Mary
Nina, who is this 'Tom' that Mary keeps talking about?
I don't know, and it's none of my business.
It's none of my business and I'm obsessed with it!
That's typical. Why is it that men think that when you plant the flag, you own the mountain.
I spent two years climbing that mountain, and I'm not about to let some guy yodel on it!
Most people dismiss non-literate cultures.
Well, we live in one.
S3Jailhouse Dick
Here, sign this.
What is it?
Oh, it just absolves us of any wrongdoing in arresting you without reason and without any evidence. It's standard.
Eddie, you stole my car, but more importantly, you broke my heart. You wanna know what's worse?
What?
That you stole my car.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's 3rd Rock from the Sun pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.