Nina Campbell quotes from 3rd Rock from the Sun

Nina

You know, this is the only time of year I like White music.

Nina

I knew you had a thing for her.

Dick

Yes, but I understand I'm not allowed to show it to her without her permission.

Dick

What's going on?

Nina

Oh, she's having a big affair.

Dick

What? You tramp!

Mary

Dick, it's a catered affair.

Dick

You're cheating on me and your diet?

Dick

Can we take more than one?

Nina

Take as much as you want! Nobody's going to be at this thing.

Mary

Don't be so insensitive.

Nina

[to Dick] Yeah, shame on you!

Dick

Nina, who is this 'Tom' that Mary keeps talking about?

Nina

I don't know, and it's none of my business.

Dick

It's none of my business and I'm obsessed with it!

Nina

That's typical. Why is it that men think that when you plant the flag, you own the mountain.

Dick

I spent two years climbing that mountain, and I'm not about to let some guy yodel on it!

Dick

Nina, here are the keys to my Rambler. Take it somewhere and have my tires rotated.

Nina

That's not in my job description.

Dick

What is in your job description?

Nina

Typing.

Dick

Okay, well, type it into your job description and have it done by lunch.

Nina

Where's Dr. Albright?

Tommy

Well, we're not sure, but we think she's having sex with Dick in an unknown location.

Nina

Oh my God, what is she thinking?

Tommy

What's she thinking? What is he thinking?

Nina

Okay, can we just agree they're both freaks?

Tommy

Yeah!

Nina

What's this?

Harry

Oh, you weren't supposed to find that 'till tomorrow morning.

Nina

You left me twenty bucks?

Harry

Well, yeah, that's the going rate, isn't it?

Nina

Going rate?!

Harry

Yeah, five bucks a pop; that seems pretty reasonable to me.

Dick

I have an aunt Florence.

Mary

What?

Dick

Oh, that was aunt Florence in Indiana.

Nina

Since when do you have an aunt Florence in Indiana?

Dick

Since when do you have an aunt Florence in Indiana?

Nina

I don't.

Dick

So where's the big coincidence? You know, Nina. Sometimes you makes no sense.

Nina

You think you're the smartest man on the planet, don't you?

Dick

For the thousandth time, YES!

Dick

And so they served us these balls made entirely of meat. Have you seen these?

Nina

Er, yeah.

Dick

They're shaped like say a tennis ball. Have you seen these?

Nina

Of course I have!

Dick

But you don't play with them, you eat them! You've seen these?

Nina

Many times!

Dick

Well it sounds like you haven't!

Dick

[holds up a football] This is a football, [Holds up baseball] This is a baseball, [Holds up a tennis ball] This is a tennis ball, [Holds up what looks to be a meatball] Now, do you know what this is?

Nina

It's a meatball.

Dick

No, Nina you're wrong. It's a ping-pong ball covered in meat. [Reaches into his pocket and pulls out a meatball] This is a meatball.

Nina

You are the meatball. YOU ARE THE MEAT BALL!

Dick

She doesn't know what a meatball is. Sad.

Dick

Why do these people get to have their life stories in the paper? What makes them so special?

Nina

Those are the obituaries.

Dick

Well, I want one about me!

Nina

Hopefully soon.

Dick

Whaddaya think, Nina? Ya like beefcake?

Nina

Not from your funky bakery. [winks]