3rd Rock from the Sun · Season 3
Oh, Mary! I've just had one of those horrible dreams!
Well what happened?
We were getting married!
[sarcastically] Thank you...
No, that was the good part. Then, my family showed up.
Oh, don't tell me? They objected?
Well...they had issues.
It's alright. I prepared a short speech just in case they did. It's just basically two words... and one of them's "off."
[in his classroom]
Thank you Leon. You've made it all so clear! I've got to learn to let go, to move forward and focus on the thing that is most important in my life....MEEE!
Look at the bright side, Dick: with Janet out of the way, maybe you'll get another shot at Albright.
You think?
Probably no. But hey, at least there's still the three of us.
Dick [slight pause]]: Wait, didn't there used to be four of us?
Oh, yeah! Officer Don called. "Tommy's in jail."
[Brief pause.]
JAIL? [They panic and run out of the apartment.]
You idiots!
[Sally and Harry run into the police station.]
Don! Where's Tommy?
Oh, you're too late.
[Harry screams. Sally grabs Don by the throat.]
You killed Tommy?!
No, I let him go!
You let Tommy go to his death?
[Harry screams again. Tommy suddenly appears right behind him.]
Hey, Harry.
[Harry turns around and shouts again at the sight of Tommy.]
Women.
Women.
Women.
[high-pitched voice] Women!
You can't live with 'em and you can't have heterosexual sex without 'em.
That's probably true.
Women always act so adult, but just like that they'll sink all the way down to your level.
I want to make a good impression on Mary's parents.
Mary Albright‘s parents?
They're still alive?:
My God, they must be so old!
[Harry is dressed as an alien for Halloween]
Oh, Harry, you're an alien.
NO, I'M NOT! [realizing his costume] I mean, yes, I am.
[Dick goes to a Halloween party as a pirate]
Ahoy, matey. Where are your buccaneers?
Under my buckin' hat.
[Dick goes to a Halloween party as a pirate seeing mary talking to another partygoer] Yaaaarrrr look who thinks he's scary,well I be not a feared of ye,ya bag of bones,now unhand me former wench,
Doctor Howard!! (looks around akwardly)......shiver me timbers.......
Where are your buccaneers?
Under my buckin' hat!?
Why should I be concerned about gaining weight? My body is just the vehicle that carries my brain around - and my brain deserves a smooth, luxurious ride.
[Dick is putting on a corset to become thinner]
What's that?
It's called the 'Shatner.'
[Sally is talking to her plant]
You hungry? Oh, I know you--you wouldn't say anything if you were.
[she pours some of her Coke into the pot]
You're so nice. You're not at all arrogant or demanding like most people I know.
You must be bored out of your mind.
Actually, I'm not.
I was talking to the plant.
[Harry, with a camera, sneaks up behind August in school to get a photo of her]
August (noticing Harry): Harry?
I am not Harry.
What are you doing here? And what's with the camera?
What camera?
My pants fit! I won the war!
That's great, Dick! So you lost weight?
Even better - I bought bigger pants!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's 3rd Rock from the Sun pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
