Officer Don quotes from 3rd Rock from the Sun

Officer Don

And then I said to the robber, "Not your pants, the gun!" [everyone laughs] Yeah... that didn't really happen.

Officer Don

Sally, I'm a cop. I've got keen instincts. And right now, my instincts are telling me that... I don't know what the hell is going on.

Officer Don

Hamlet? The story is as old as time: Pretty boy son has a rich daddy and a good-looking mommy. The uncle knocks off daddy, marries mommy and he cuts pretty boy out of the action. So junior goes crazy and he kills them all. Not a pretty story... but there it is.

Tommy

Isn't that the plot to The Lion King?

Sally

Don, what happens to people? Are they born mad or do one day their minds just snap?

Officer Don

If only we knew, Sally. One minute little Johnny Normal is on his paper route and the next there's a pile of dead bank guards and Johnny is using Grandma as a human shield.

Sally

Don! Where's Tommy?

Officer Don

Oh, you're too late.

Sally

You killed Tommy?!

Officer Don

No, I let him go!

Sally

You let Tommy go to his death?

Tommy

Hey, Harry.

Dick

Women.

Tommy

Women.

Officer Don

Women.

Harry

[high-pitched voice] Women!

Dick

You can't live with 'em and you can't have heterosexual sex without 'em.

Harry

That's probably true.

Officer Don

Here, sign this.

Eddie

What is it?

Officer Don

Oh, it just absolves us of any wrongdoing in arresting you without reason and without any evidence. It's standard.

I'm waiting to get into the K-9 unit.

Sally

Aw, what's the hold up?

Officer Don

Well, our- our dog ran away. But we're putting up fliers.

Officer Don

The F.B.I. are coming into town tomorrow.

Dick

What for?

Officer Don

That's classified.

Tommy

You have no idea, do you?

Officer Don

That's also classified.