You work at the university.
EDEvil Dick
[smugly] Ah, so I run the university.
Well, not so much run as teach a physics class.
EDEvil Dick
I'm a teacher? Were all the janitor's jobs taken?
S2See Dick Continue to Run: Part I
EDEvil Dick
You see, I am building the greatest incubator these puny humans have ever known. And when it is completed, I will spawn my own private army of --
[The crew stares at him apprehensively]
EDEvil Dick
Of... fuzzy Easter chicks.
S2See Dick Continue to Run: Part 2
EDEvil Dick
Watch the destruction my little device wreaks on the world you love so well.
[outraged] What have you done to our toaster?
Oh, Mary! You have to get away from here!
You want me to try to escape?
Yes!
[pretending to struggle] Oh, let me go, let me go! How's that?
S2Hotel Dick
[Dick wants to tell Mary that he's an alien, but the others forbid it]
Well fine, but let it be on your own head!
Which will probably be sitting next to our heads on a tray somewhere in New Mexico!
[to people who haven't yet seen a movie] Attention, ticket holders! At the end of the movie, when the President turns out to be an alien and he barbecues all the Congressmen, don't believe it because aliens hate barbecue!
I say we hold an alien pride parade!
You're gonna be like some sort of alien Martin Luther King?
Exactly. Because I, too, have a dream. And in that dream I'm naked on a ferris wheel.
S2Big Angry Virgin From Outer Space
The worst part is I'm still a virgin!
Oh my God, you're a virgin?
Yes, it's horrible!
No, it's perfectly all right for you to save yourself for the right man.
Like you did for Dick?
[a shocked look on her face, after a long pause] Yes.
People change for their lovers all the time. For example, I stopped wearing Old Spice and August stopped telling me to stop wearing Old Spice.
[Mary consoling Sally after her break up]
. . . I like you Sally.
I didn't know you liked me
Well I do, you're strong, opinionated, intelligent young woman, unpredictable at time, a little scary, but hell that's you.
That is me, I like me too, but why didn't Mr. Randall?
Well he's just not the right guy for you, but you'll find someone, I mean just look at you: those legs, that hair...
Please I've been dragged through the muck enough today!
Just chop this up to experience.
Thanks Dr. Albright, you're so nice. I always thought you were such a bitch.
Oh I am. But hell, that's me.
S2Much Ado About Dick
Harry, I need a ride.
Nope.
You know, I outrank you.
In that case... no, sir!
[Harry is watching "Looney Tunes" and Tommy wants a ride from him]
I'll tell you what: if the Road Runner wins this next one, you take me, but if he doesn't... I'll never ask you again.
Okay, you're on. I've seem this next scheme before and it's far too brilliant to fail twice.
S2Dick the Vote
What's the point of having a democracy, if everybody's going to vote wrong?
GGansmiller
[about Harry] Damn! No past, no experience, no record... the perfect candidate.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's 3rd Rock from the Sun pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.