We don't have cell phones; we're from Ohio!
S336! 24! 36! Dick!: Part 2
(to Tommy and Dick) Boys, we're going to San Francisco!
MMascha
San Diego!
San Diego!
S3Pickles and Ice Cream
Nina, here are the keys to my Rambler. Take it somewhere and have my tires rotated.
That's not in my job description.
What is in your job description?
Typing.
Okay, well, type it into your job description and have it done by lunch.
I think it's unfair that you demand Sally do whatever you want as if you were... king of the universe!
Oh, please! We look nothing alike.
S3Auto Erodicka
Don't listen to him, he's just a kid.
SSalesman
Oh, don't worry. I used to be a kid myself... a long time ago. [laughs] Say there, sport, you like girls?
Yeah. Sorry.
S3Portrait of Tommy as an Old Man
[Harry has taken over Tommy's job as Information Officer]
Harry, write this down. I need you to find a place--
W-w-wait. [writes] I...need...you...to...find...
Harry, forget writing it down. Just memorize it. I need you to find---
W-w-wait. [puts finger to forehead] I...need...you...to...find...
Harry, forget memorizing it. Just listen to me. I need you to find a place for Mary to sing. Harry?
Oh, sorry, I was thinking about cake.
S3Stuck with Dick
The library's closed on Saturday?
Dick, this -- is -- not -- a -- good -- school!
Where's Dr. Albright?
Well, we're not sure, but we think she's having sex with Dick in an unknown location.
Oh my God, what is she thinking?
What's she thinking? What is he thinking?
Okay, can we just agree they're both freaks?
Yeah!
S3My Daddy's Little Girl
GAGeorge Albright
[entering Mary's office] Mary.
Daddy!
GAGeorge Albright
Hey there, magpie.
What a nice surprise.
GAGeorge Albright
Well, not really... I've left your mother.
Again?
Just a couple of rules: don't curse and don't spill nothing and if you spill something, don't curse.
S3The Physics of Being Dick
How about a new strategy? What about "sad cop, slightly effeminate cop?"
And what makes that cop's gun so cool? PHYSICS! Kinetic energy generates the velocity with which the bullet exits the barrel, while the ballistics coefficient and sectional density determine the damage to its targets! Guns don't kill people, PHYSICS kills people!
S3Just Your Average Dick
It says here the average American uses 4.1 pounds of butter a year.
Orally?
I'm part of a community--a community that embraces wholesome, American values. And if you cross us... we will destroy you.
S3Dick and the Other Guy
This is the best thing I have ever put in my mouth!
Once again I come in second.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's 3rd Rock from the Sun pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.