Dr. Neesam, I find you to be pompous, judgmental and completely self-absorbed. Would you be my friend?
[pause]
LLiam
We'll see.
S3Dick and the Other Guy
LLiam
Your head is like a cookie. I just want to eat it.
S3Sally and Don's First Kiss
So you're going to let this woman control your life?
No, just the lunch part. [a beat] My favorite part.
S3The Tooth Harry
[to Nina] Don't worry, Nina. I won't let anyone else hurt you.
DDentist
Don't forget about your appointment on Friday, Nina.
Until Friday.
[Harry left twenty dollars under Nina's pillow as payment from the Tooth Fairy for the four wisdom teeth she lost. Just as they're about to have sex, Nina finds the money.]
What's this?
Oh, you weren't supposed to find that 'till tomorrow morning.
You left me twenty bucks?
Well, yeah, that's the going rate, isn't it?
Going rate?!
Yeah, five bucks a pop; that seems pretty reasonable to me.
S3Eat, Drink, Dick, Mary
[the Solomons confront Tommy about his cooking skills]
I can't believe it! You can cook!
You
No, no, I can't cook! I swear!
Well, then how do you explain this? (indicates oregano and rosemary on the table)
This, uh...is marijuana!
This whole time we've been eating her slop, and you're a damn gourmet!!
No, no, it's pot! I swear! I smoke it with my friends. I like to... toke up on the..fat daddies...uh...dude...
Ugh, I blame myself. How could I have missed all the signs? I mean, just last month I was doing laundry and I found a measuring spoon in his pants.
I was as blind as you, Sally. At the mall, he said he was going to the comic book store, but I saw him coming out of the Williams and Sonoma!
(picks up vial of white powder) Oh, Tommy! (opens, tastes what's inside) it's confectioner's sugar!
Confectioner's sugar? So you've been baking, too?! (hugs Sally) Look what your selfishness has done to Sally! Get out of my sight!
(starts to leave)
Oh, but first, make me a spinach and fennel frittata.
(nods) Yeah, me too.
RRandy
I think you're Harry.
Well, I think you're hairy!
[Don is telling a story]
And then I said to the robber, "Not your pants, the gun!" [everyone laughs] Yeah... that didn't really happen.
I gotta say I feel liberated,not having to sneak around all the time,its just so nice being able to wear my apron out in the open[Audience laugh]
why breakfast was great I've never had a spinach frittttttaaaaaa.
[Harry starts shaking and puts his hands out in front of him in the kitchen in front of tommy and sally who have just came back from grocery shopping after becoming fully aware that tommy can actually cook,and cook well]
IIIIIIIncoming message from the big giant head!!
ooooooh my god Dick get in here!!
[Running through from the living room]:What is it!?
[Harry still with his hands stretched out]
Our records indicate that your status report is 22 days late,please submit your finished report to the big giant head's personal assistant,big giant jenny![audience laughs]
I hate that bitch![audience laugh again]
Tramission ending in 3..2..1[Harry sneezes]:oooh whats going on!?
Dick didnt finish the status report!
S4Power Mad Dick
[the Solomons have a repairman over]
Sally, you seein' Don today?
Seein' him? I'm losing my virginity to him!
RRepairman
You know, I can come back.
I'll never forget the time I lost my virginity to ol'... what's-her-name over at... the place. Magic.
S4Collect Call for Dick
Dubcek's threatening to make me work it off and I don't think she's talking about mowing the lawn.
?"The Columbian"
Oh, I got top dollar--I got better than top dollar.
Well then, by default, wouldn't that become top dollar?
Hey Dick. What's with all the Rusty burgers?
Ah, well I'm just uh, preparing box lunches for the homeless.
Why are putting all of the food in the trash?
It makes them more comfortable. Mary- you can be so insenitive!
S4What's Love Got to Do, Got to Do with Dick?
EEric
I'm waiting to get into the K-9 unit.
Aw, what's the hold up?
Well, our- our dog ran away. But we're putting up fliers.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's 3rd Rock from the Sun pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.