Jenna Maroney quotes from 30 Rock

Jenna

Second of all, if the president is so serious about the war on terror, why doesn't he hunt down and capture Barack Obama before he strikes again? It's time for a change, America. That's why I'm voting for Osama in 2008.

Jenna

A drinking contest?!? What am I, 12 and at my boyfriend's frat party?!

Jenna

[rapping] My name is Suri Cruise.

Jenna

Kenneth, you know how you told Tracy not to go into your bedroom? Well, naturally we assumed you were a serial killer, and as you can imagine, your bird is dead.

Jenna

Oh I can play dead; I watched my whole church group get eaten by a bear.

Jenna

It's going to be a disaster! Like Katrina! Do you remember Katrina, that crazy girl from hair and make-up?

Jenna

Drama is like gay-man Gatorade. It replenishes their electrolytes.

Jenna

Your health insurance will remain in effect until the end... of this sentence.

Jenna

Although I'm great at this, I'm really not necessary. Hmmm, the last time I said that I was in a three-way with two Backstreet Boys.

Jenna

I'm gonna to have to reinvent you. Break you down completely, and build you up from scratch. Just like Mickey Rourke did to me sexually.

Jenna

This is why I hated my first two weeks at the Royal Tampa Academy of Dramatic Tricks: No one knew who was the sluttiest. But I showed them. Oh, I showed them all.

Jenna

Relationships are like sharks, Liz. If you're not left with several bite marks after intercourse, then something's wrong.

Jenna

I've been taking these new Czechoslovakian organ slimming pills. They contain a little bit of meth, which is something my body needs anyway!

Jenna

Am I trying to instigate fights by throwing wine at people just to get on camera, and maybe also promote my new lifestyle website, Jennas-Side.com? Of course not. I mean, is wine-throwing something that even gets you on a reality show?

Jenna

Listen up, Fives. A Ten is speaking.