Dennis[Reading from a letter] Dear Liz Lemon: While other women have bigger boobs than you, no other woman has as big a heart. When I saw you getting ready to go out and get nailed by a bunch of guys last night, I knew for sure it was over between us, and for the first time since the ‘86 World Series, I cried... I cried like a big, dumb homo. And if it was up to me, we'd be together forever. But there's a new thing called "women's liberation," which gives you women the right to choose and you have chosen to abort me, and that I must live with. So tonight, when you arrive home, I'll be gone. I officially renounce my squatter's rights. I'll always love you. Goodbye and good luck. I'll never forget you.
Dennis
Hi. Dennis Duffy, Beeper King.
Dennis has his own business. Yes, he's an entrepreneur. He's very successful.
Dennis
You've probably seen my ads on the seven train, right?
I didn't know they served chicken nuggets at this restaurant.
It's cod, it's uh, they made it special. Dennis has some dietary restrictions.
Dennis
Actually, I'm allergic to all fish unless it's fried, you know.
That's a sharp tie you've got there, Dennis.
Dennis
That douchebag up front made me wear it.
Does he know you're the Beeper King?
Dennis
I don't think so.
Anyway, thanks for the hook-up. This is clearly the nicest restaurant we've ever been to.
Dennis
Hold on a second, this place ain't that nice, alright. It's got rats and roaches like every other restaurant.
No rat talk tonight, okay.
Dennis
[to Jack] You know there are 17 rats per person in Manhattan. You eat a pound of rat crap every year without even knowing it, huh?
I think I read about that in The New Yorker. [pause] Um, anyway, we'll leave you two to your meal. I hope you enjoy the choices that you've made.
Dennis
[Liz answers her door] Hello, dummy.
No! Nope, not interested. Have a good life.
Dennis
This is important, it's about my mom. [Liz reluctantly lets him in] That was a lie, but listen, Elizabeth. I recently discovered that I'm a sex addict.
Dennis
Yeah I am, and I'd be an even worse sex addict if I wasn't consumed by my latest business venture.
I don't want to hear about your job, Dennis.
Dennis
One word: coffee. One problem: where do you get it?
Anywhere! You get it anywhere!
Dennis
Wrong! You get it at my coffee vending machine. 38th & 6th in the basement of the K-Mart. You just go downstairs, you get the key from David and BOOM! You plug in the machine and...
30 Rock · 317 quotes
