Hazel quotes from 30 Rock

Hazel

I'll take care of Tracy and Jenna like they were my own children - which is a bad example, because I left my kids at a Sears in 2004.

Hazel

God, live TV is such a rush! It’s like sex... but your husband isn’t looking at a picture of a bridge.

Hazel

I'm not about to screw this up, Kenneth. 'Cause I'd get kicked out of show business, and then how would I be famous? By starting a fire and then rescuing everyone from it, and then I'm a hero, and then I'm in Playboy?

Hazel

As the doctor said to me after my hepatitis test, "You got it, sweetheart!"

Hazel

When I confronted him about it he was so condescending! He laughed at me, then he undressed me with his eyes. Then he had his way with me... with his eyes.

Liz

Ugh, the male gaze.

Hazel

Yeah, they're all a bunch of gays.

Hazel

Can I ask your advice, woman to woman?

Liz

Are you sure? 'Cause I took one of those "Which Gossip Girl Are You?" quizzes, and it said I was the dad's guitar.

Hazel

[scoffs] Please, you are so amazing. This place is such a boys' club, but you boss them around like an Amazon warrior queen. And look at your body! Your rack is like, "Pow!"

Liz

Hazel, what is the question?

Hazel

It's Kenneth. He's not a page anymore, but he keeps trying to do my job for me. And when I confronted him about it, he was so condescending! He laughed at me, then he undressed me with his eyes. Then he had his way with me... with his eyes.

Liz

Ugh, the male gaze.

Hazel

Yeah, they're all a bunch of gays.