Jack Donaghy quotes from 30 Rock

Jack

Lemon, this is a part of our problem. I give you a simple managerial suggestion in a professional context and I get back the second half of a Judy Blume novel.

Jack

I've spent the better part of the last 3 years developing a portable, miniature microwave oven. Most of that time has been spent coming up with a hip, edgy name for the product, something that will appeal to the marketing Holy Trinity - college students, the morbidly obese, and homosexuals.

Jack

Well, musicians have banded together before to solve all kinds of problems: world hunger, the collapse of the American farm, global warming. And, uh, you're 0 for 3, guys.

Jack

We'll trick those racecar-loving wide-loads into watching your lefty homoerotic propaganda hour yet!

Jack

I like you, Kenneth, but you do not want to mess with me right now. I am in the middle of a RAGING PERIOD... of economic turmoil.

Jack

Every division of the company is reaching out to the middle of the country. Our new mammogram machine is called the "Git 'R Done 2000".

Jack

Lemon, let me tell you a little story. It was 1994, and I was ice climbing when I fell into a crevasse and hurt my leg. There was only one way out, so fighting every natural instinct I have, I did the thing I hated the most. I climbed down into the darkness. And when I came back to camp, I went to the person who cut my line and said, "Connie Chung, you did the right thing."

Jack

Good God, Lemon, your breath! When did you find time to eat a diaper you found on the beach?

Jack

That's what I'm talking about, empathy. It's about as useless as the Winter Olympics... this February on NBC.

Jack

Weird... in a good way. Like going to the gym drunk.

Jack

[making lessons DVD] In the unlikely event that you encounter something that is not covered here, find a woman named Elizabeth Lemon, get her advice, and then do the opposite.

Jack

Diversity is the engine that drives this country. We are an immigrant nation! The first generation works their fingers to the bone making things, the next generation goes to college and innovates new ideas, the third generation... snowboards and takes improv classes.

Jack

Making through a full 24 hours without a single misstep is called Reaganing. The only other people who have ever done it, Lee Iacocca, Jack Welch, and--no judgment--Saddam Hussein.

Jack

You're Liz Lemon, damn it. In certain lights, you're an 8! Using East Coast, over-35 standards, excluding Miami.

Jack

Good God. Lemon, those jeans make you look like a Mexican sports reporter.