Just thought I'd invite you to come shoot some pool with me and Lola! ...But she's awful.
I heard that.
But she's got some really good hearing!
S4Dinner For Two Many
Is it wrong to be in love with a crabcake?
If it's wrong, then I don't want to be right.
Did you guys know that crabs are omnivores that eat algae and fungus and worms?
Algae and fungus and worms?
Oh my!
[Lola and Logan put their crabcake down]
MMaurice
Well, I guess someone doesn't understand what "banned" means.
Maurice, listen--
MMaurice
Oh, get out of my sight.
Wait. Why are you in the women's restroom?
He likes the lollipops.
MMaurice
I want you and your little chicky friends outta here.
You can't throw us out!
Yeah. Look, Maurice--
MMaurice
[removes the girls from the women's restroom] Yes, I can throw you out. Turn around. There's the exit. Move. Move, ladies. Ladies. Must I call security on you? Out of my bathroom. Out of my restaurant.
[Quinn, Lola, Coco and Maurice argue as Coco whimpers]
What's going on?
I don't know.
Quit pushing us!
We are citizens!
Carl, help!
CCarl
[gets up from his seat and stops Maurice] Hey! Hey! What's the deal, buddy?
MMaurice
The deal is get out unless you want me to call the police.
Make him let go of me.
CCarl
Sorry, baby. I'm on parole. [takes his food from the table and leaves the restaurant]
[starts to cry]
[Zoey, James, Logan and Michael get up from their seats and confront Maurice]
Sir, what's the problem here?
MMaurice
Mind your own business.
Don't talk to him like that.
And let her go.
MMaurice
Oh. Is she a friend of yours?
That's right.
MMaurice
Then all of you out of here! [the people at Vacarro get up from their seats and start to argue as the rest of the gang do the same when Maurice tries to throw Coco out of the restaurant] Come on, Coco. Get out, Get out, Get out, Coco.
Do you know who my father is?
MMaurice
You're never coming in here again. Banned, Coco. Banned.
MMan
Freaks!
[while everyone argue, Lola takes a carrot, eats it and smiles]
S4Coffee Cart Ban
But I just got a new mug!
Then fill it with chowder!
Chowder?
Dang it!
Who says dang it?
People who grew up in the South?
Everyone! (Everyone in Zoey's dorm looks) We're about to get busted!
(People look worried and shocked)
Well, don't just stand there!
Hide everything!
(Everyone starts hiding everything)
I told you not to buy those cheap cups! (holds up a cardboard box that says "Kups") Don't buy cups with a "K"!
They're quality cups!
Look around!
Well, none of the kids at PCA think it was fair of you to ban the coffee carts in the first place.
Who asked you?
You just did.
Don't twist my words. When I ban something from this campus, it's banned! For you, for me, for everyone! [looks at Quinn's laser gun] And what is this thing? [picks it up]
I wouldn't touch that.
I am the dean of this... (accidentally shoots a laser at his cupboard that destroys it)
(after Dean Rivers accidentally uses Quinn's laser gun and destroys his cupboard, which reveals a coffee machine)
What is that?
(tries to hide it) Nothing! Let's forget about this whole thing, dismissed!
(takes the coffee kettle) My goodness.
Is that coffee?
It looks like coffee!
It smells like coffee!
I am gabberflasted! [Everyone looks at him weirdly] I AM SHOCKED!
You're not gonna charge me, are you baby?
Yes I am.
But, we're, boyfriend and girlfriend.
I know but, business is business.
Stop zapping Logan!
I am flabbergasted, flabbergasted! Do you understand me?
(Everyone nods their heads "yes", except Logan who shakes his head "no" )
What don't you understand, Logan?
What flabbergasted means...
It means I am shocked and outraged that you kids would defy PCA rules and run two illegal coffee shops right under my nose! I banned the coffee shops for a reason, and I expect my rules to be respected! Well, what do you have to say? (Everyone looks at Zoey)
S4Roller Coaster
PTPhysics teacher
Why do I feel like Quinn is the only one who cares?
Even I don't care...
PTPhysics teacher
Oh, I'm a boring teacher.
(unaware that Lola tossed his hamburger into a fountain) Didn't I have a hamburger?
I'm having fruit!
Radom student: Anybody lose a hamburger? I found this in the fountain.
Yeah, I...I think that's mine. (he squeezes it, and water drips from it, shrugs, and takes a bite of it)
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Zoey 101 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.